Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 8

The internet tubes are chock-full of keyboard strikers pontificating on Week One of the 2007 Major League Soccer season (present company included), so howabout we mix it up a bit and check out the commentary directly from the Horse's Mouths?

Red Bull 0, Crew 0 -- "To be honest it was really sore and its completely swollen up now. It wasn't ideal," said Red Bull captain Claudio Reyna after crumbling to the pitch in a lump, courtesy of newbie Dane Richards' hardest tackle of the night, which unfortunately felled one of the guys in blue shirts, not yellow. "It's disappointing, but I think in four or five days it should be OK." Reassured much folks?

Fire 1, Revolution 0 -- "It's the same old, same old. MLS and the Revolution have closed the door," said disgruntled hardman Shalrie Joseph prior to missing New England's first game with a "calf strain." Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. "They don't want to talk anymore about contract stuff with me ... I was really hoping it would work out well where I would sign a long-term contract and finish my career here. But that wasn't possible ... They don't value my services." It didn't take a genius to see this one coming, did it?

FC Dallas 2, Real Salt Lake 2 -- "It was unlucky," said Real goalkeeper Nick Rimando after his howler gifted Dallas an undeserved draw and caused almost as much drama in Utah since Bill Paxton and Jeanne Tripplehorn arrived.

Chivas USA 2, Toronto FC 0 -- "We should have ended up winning. We had five chances to put it in the back of the net. There's five goals and it's 5-0 at halftime," said Toronto FC defender Jim Brennan, struggling hard not to strain his back while tossing Edson Buddle and Alecko Eskandarian under the bus.

Rapids 2, DC United 1 -- "The field's enormous," said Rapids midfielder Herculez Gomez, once and for all putting to rest the debate over whether or not Size Matters at Dick's Park in Colorado. "We kept moving around, we had players in the midfield, we got players in the back, spray the ball around wide, go through the middle. So it's definitely to our advantage."

Galaxy 0, Dynamo 0 -- "Once I see Dwayne De Rosario and those guys on the other side my blood boils," said LA's Peter Vagenas, debunking the Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Theory.

Speaking of Vagenas, did you see Eric Wynalda's anatomically graphic proposition of shock-jock-turned-jackass-TV-personality Jim Rome? Sheesh. Not that there's anything wrong with that (YouTube), but c'mon guys, rent a room and leave us out of it. When not shamelessly courting Rome, Wynalda seems oddly fixated on Landon Donovan. "I don’t know if getting married is going to help him," said Dr. Phil ...er... Wynalda. "But he has already been in a situation where I think a lot of the decisions he has been making have been about his personal life, about being happy, about being where he needs to be." Memo to Eric: Less Deepak Chopra and more Christian Gomez.

Speaking of talking out of your ...er... well, you know, here's the latest on the Colorado Rapids-Arsenal saga:

"At this point, there is no interest or intention from KSE in buying any shares or any pieces of Arsenal Football Club or any club in the English Premier League," -- Jurgen Mainka, Official Mouthpiece, Colorado Rapids, denying reports KSE would purchase ITV's 9.9 percent stake in Arsenal, exactly ten days before KSE did indeed buy the British Broadcaster's shares in the Gooners. Evidently, Mainka's initial statement, the emphatic denial, is no longer operative.