Mexican Standoff: Chivas USA vs. Blanco

The Blanco-led Chicago Fire meet Chivas USA in Los Angeles on Saturday, which could be a precursor to a tasty, internationally flavored first-round Major League Soccer playoff matchup. If the season ended today (doncha love that phrase?) Chivas, currently holding first-place in the West, would face Chicago, currently clinging to the eighth and final postseason slot.

The odds of Chivas securing the top spot are good, since the secondary tenant of the Home Depot Center has two points and a game in hand on its nearest rival, Houston. The Fire are in a more precarious situation, just one point up on Columbus (who have a dark promotion on tap) and three points up on Colorado, but the Windy City club are two-points behind the Rapids in the highly-scientific Puppy to Giants Ratio. Additionally, should the Fire and Rapids end in a tie, the first tie-breaker (head-to-head) is a wash, due to a pair of ... guess what? ... regular season draws, and the second tie-breaker favors Colorado with a two-point goal differential edge.

Now that we've dispensed with the various playoff probabilities, let's examine the potential Chivas USA vs. Blanco first-round clash. The question is, who will Mexican fans (both here in the Good Ol' USA and South of the Border) support? Does their loyalty lie with the USA version of The Goats, or with the talismanic, charismatic, hunchbacked striker called Cuauhtemoc Blanco?

This not to suggest that All Mexicans Think Alike. Recent cinematic triumphs alone demonstrate the robust, diverse nature of our Latino Cousins South of the Rio Grande. Seriously, have you seen Pan's Labyrinth, Children of Men or From Dusk Till Dawn? Even the cheating, cheapshot, Mexican National Team, (formerly known as El Tricolor until Hugo Sanchez went clinically insane) while infuriating, are a compelling assortment of contradictions. Whether it's the simmering, regal Jared Borgetti or the flashy, precocious Giovani dos Santos, you gotta love to hate the no-longer Tricolor.

No, what we're getting at is how will the Mexican fans react to a Chivas USA-Blanco elimination battle? Columnist Nick Green has a nice primer on the issue including the Club America and CD Guadalajara rivalry and the participation of not only "El Cuau" but Chivas USA defender Claudio Suarez in a potential Chivas USA-Fire showdown. Unsavory aspects of the attempted relocation of Chivas and Mexican support to Los Angeles in the form of Chivas USA aside, will Blanco be booed at the Home Depot Center or cheered?

This reminds us of a diehard Glasgow Celtic fan, who also passionately supports the US Men's National Team, the squad representing his adopted country. This guy loves DaMarcus Beasley and complained bitterly when Bruce Arena tossed him under the bus in Germany 2006. But now that DaMarcus plays for Rangers, what's he to do? It bears watching how Mexican fans respond if and when Old Country rivalries pop up in Major League Soccer's first-round of the Western Conference playoffs.

And now, from YouTube, our favorite Mexican Standoffs:

True Romance | Reservoir Dogs | Pulp Fiction | Jon Stewart
And the Godfather of Them All: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

With Friendlies Like These, Who Needs Enemas?

Perhaps the term "scared shitless" is too harsh, but how would you feel lugging a four-game losing streak into a friendly with Brazil? Picture yourself as newbie U.S. National Team Coach Bob Bradley, Gold Cup victory over CONCACAF nemesis Mexico inexplicably buried in favor of Copa America B-Team chatter, and your boss, Sunil Gulati, invites you to lunch and sitting there at the table is none other than the latest Free Agent European Soccer Genius Fabio Capello. Howya feelin' now? Ready for Ronaldinho, Kaka and Robinho in Chicago?

Pachuca Take Big Bucks, Knock Out Becks

Mexican club CF Pachuca burnished its Best Soccer Squad in North America credentials and picked up a cool million dollars on Wednesday night, defeating the LA Galaxy 2-1 in penalty kicks at the Home Depot Center in Los Angeles, winning the inaugural SuperLiga Gran Final. Oh, and 32-year-old, playing-on-a-bad-ankle (sometimes on turf) David Beckham shockingly went down injured after playing in only his sixth game in 18 days. What a wimp.

No stranger to ripping the heart out of Major League Soccer opponents, Pachuca did it again last night, taking a 1-nil lead via neat Christian Gimenez-Cacho interplay and a clumsy own-goal (no, not THAT ONE) from LA's Peter Vagenas. The Galaxy tied the game up late via a spectacular, improbable bicycle kick by Chris Klein, cavalierly dismissed as a "slow-footed, defensive graybeard" by Red Bull Rising just three days ago. Bicycle, Schmicycle, we'd still take Robbie Findlay!

Landon Donovan missed a wide-open header inside 10 minutes, perfectly placed onto his male-pattern baldness noggin by Becks, did well to force a great save from idiot Pachuca goalkeeper Miguel Calero late, and had his ill-placed (go either high or low, not middle, LandyCakes) game-winning PK attempt stopped by the aforementioned, finger-waving, hat-wearing Prima Donna in Net.

Abel Xavier (just the type of old, flashy, big-reputation but small-game player Jurgen Klinsmann jettisoned for younger, hungrier lads prior to World Cup 2006, by the way) should be expecting a complaint from PETA, as his penalty kick killed a hapless pigeon circling the Home Depot Center in pursuit of stray postgame nachos.

Here's a quick roundup of links:
Sports Illustrated | TimesOnline UK | Soccernet | La Opinion

Why Bob Bradley is The Right Guy for Job

The removal of the interim tag from Bob Bradley's title as Head Coach of the US Men's National Team has stimulated vigorous debate, from those who ask what the heck took so long to those questioning the wisdom of hiring yet another American coach. But there are two good reasons for making Bob Bradley The Man: 1) He understands the unique circumstances of American players and 2) He genuinely, intensely, passionately wanted the gig.

Bradley Knows American Players:

American soccer players must overcome obstacles simply not found in Germany, Argentina, France, Portugal or Sweden (to name a few totally random nations), including Little League, Pop Warner, AAU hoops, a totally hostile print media, an indifferent to curious-at-best broadcast media, a Corporate Culture largely invested in rival domestic professional sports and their stadia and an Amateur-to-NCAA-to-Pro structure totally alien to world soccer.

Bob Bradley grew up in this environment and helped grow the sport of soccer -- both collegiately and professionally -- despite these obstacles (unlike Jurgen Klinsmann, Jose Pekerman, Gerard Houllier, Carlos Queiroz or Sven-Goran Ericcson to name a few totally random coaches). Bradley can relate to Jay DeMerit's journey. Can Klinsmann? Bradley can commiserate with the struggles of DaMarcus Beasley. Can Queiroz? Houllier? This shared experience in surmounting these challenges should not be dismissed lightly.

Bradley Wants the Gig:

Memo to US Soccer: You wore your best little black dress, took them to dinner, paid for their lobster (YouTube), but at the end of the night, Klinsmann, Pekerman, Houllier, Queiroz and Ericcson et al were just not that into you. We know it hurts, but it was Bradley who loved you all along, and you should thank your lucky stars that he looked the other way while you shamelessly courted the Foreign Legion.

Despite your indiscretions, Bradley will do everything he can to guide you through the peaks and valleys on the path to South Africa 2010. And he won't abandon you along the way, which does tend to happen when foreign coaches start feeling the heat en route to the World Cup Finals. Bradley's aim is true (YouTube). Dalliances aside, you made the right call.

High Drama as Last Gasp Pachuca Edge Dynamo

Superior speed, strength and skill, combined with shoddy officiating and a wonderfully raucous home crowd advantage, drove Mexican club Pachuca to a thrilling 5-4 OT aggregate victory over a game, but ultimately outgunned Houston Dynamo in the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinals on Thursday night at Estadio Hidalgo.

The CCC Finals will now be an All-Mexican affair, pitting Pachuca vs. Chivas of Guadalajara, who dispatched DC United on Tuesday as both Major League Soccer squads fell just short of their rivals South of the Border in the semifinal round despite encouraging results in the US-hosted first-leg matches.

Houston showed real spirit after falling behind quickly 2-nil (thanks to a clearly offside opening goal and a soft PK) with Brian Mullan scoring off a neat Brian Ching to Dwayne DeRosario connection. Another trademark header from Ching appeared to secure the Dynamo's passage into the Finals in the 79th minute, despite a second questionable PK call and conversion for Pachuca, but the Mexican club, sparked by the brilliant Christian Gimenez, would not be denied. The Tuzos knotted the tie at the close of regulation, forcing OT, where Gimenez completed his hat trick with an inspired left-footed screamer past a helpless Zach Wells.

The end result, 5-2 on the night for Pachuca, will surely lead to gloating on the Mexican side and some overwrought hand-wringing in the United States. Neither should get too carried away. Pachuca are clearly a better side, and yet, required a gargantuan effort to get past Houston. The message from this matchup, and the DC-Chivas clash, is unmistakable: MLS clubs are gaining on their Mexican cousins. For fans on both sides of the Rio Grande, this is a terrific development, as the drama and spectacle fifty miles east of Mexico City and 7,960 feet above sea level was something to behold. North American professional club soccer has truly reached new heights.

Bittersweet Butterfingers in Guadalajara

It was always going to be difficult for DC United to hang with Chivas on Tuesday night. Despite the first-leg success MLS clubs had against their Mexican counterparts in the CONCACAF Champions Cup Semifinals, accomplishing the same result in the hostile environment South of the Border was an entirely different proposition -- possible, yes, but not likely. And once Gonzalo Pineda's routine shot slipped through DC goalkeeper Troy Perkins fingers for a 2-1 Chivas lead, the difficult became impossible, as United bowed out of the competition.

Chivas wasn't dominant by any means, but for DC to book passage into the CCC Finals the same grit, determination and grace under pressure employed at RFK was needed in Guadalajara, in addition to the avoidance of the Big Mistake, a blunder which, on the road especially, results in defeat. To their credit, United came up with the former, but unfortunately they also allowed the latter. As the 2007 MLS season approaches, DC is playing quick, attractive, attacking soccer with flair on offense and bite, if not consistency, in the back. Christian Gomez, Luciano Emilio and Jaime Moreno knocked the ball around with an uncanny familiarity which should give pause to MLS defenses.

If defending Major League Soccer champs Houston Dynamo were overconfident going into the other second-leg semifinal match on Thursday in Pachuca (8:30 ET, FoxSoccerChannel), United's hard luck may not have been in vain. Despite a two-goal aggregate lead, the Dynamo now know they will need to be extremely sharp in the high-altitude of Pachuca's Estadio Hidalgo. While they're at it, they better stay clear of The Big Mistake.

"A Short Saying Oft Contains Much Wisdom"Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)

"That's our reward, to play at the highest elevation in Mexico." -- Dominic Kinnear, Houston Dynamo Coach/Avid Mountain Climber, relishing his upcoming trip to Pachuca's Estadio Hidalgo, which sits a mere 7,960 feet above sea level.

"Now we know how they play; they're a dangerous team. But I think in Pachuca we can make things right." -- Enrique Meza, Pachuca Coach/Tactical Genius, belatedly realizing the MLS Champs were a dangerous team.

"Things were a little chippy." -- Ben Olsen, DC United Midfielder/Provocateur describing the action at RFK Thursday night against Chivas Guadalajara.

"EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!!!!!!" -- Entire, Enraged Chivas Squad, expressing their displeasure with Bearded Ben after the match.

"I don't go a day or two without talking to Freddy (Adu), Danny (Szetela) or Timmy Ward. We all know it's going to be a challenge." -- Michael Bradley, US U-20 Midfielder, demonstrating team spirit and maturity when discussing this summer's U-20 World Cup Finals.

"It would be an honor to work in a club like Real Madrid." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea Manager, demonstrating appalling disloyalty and puerile narcissism when discussing this summer's The Apprentice: Bernabéu debacle. Red Bull Rising Reminder: Fredo's goin' fishin'.

"We want to help MLS increase the interest in soccer overall because if the interest in soccer increases, then interest in leagues like the Bundesliga increases." -- Christian Seifert, Bundesliga CEO, efficiently gets to the bottom line of the MLS-Bundesliga partnership.

"Franz is the one who has brought us together and had this overall concept," -- Ivan Gazidis, MLS Deputy Commish, painfully name-drops Der Kaiser at the Miami Beach press conference.

Speaking of beaches (see how I did that?):

"We can give them a beach-head in the United States." -- Jeff Plush, Colorado Rapids Managing Director, on what Arsenal gains from the historic Gooner-Rapids partnership.

"This injury isn't down to my age. It's the number of games played that causes injury. Look at (Franck) Ribery, (Claude) Makelele, (William) Gallas, (Patrick) Viera, they are all injured. Even Ronaldinho is 'dead'. Same for Deco. Or (Steven) Gerrard. This is not the great, the real Gerrard (this season). The players doing well now are those who played less last season." -- Thierry Henry, Exhausted Gunner, more concerned with the ridiculous fixture overload damaging the world's best players than the heretofore mystical, hidden beaches of Commerce City, Colorado.

"New players are not expected to be shrinking violets, but neither are they supposed to throw themselves around like big-time Charlies." -- Unnamed Source, England National Team, throwing recently arrested Citeh midfielder Joey Barton under a double-decker bus.

"Managers may hate penalty shoot-outs but fans love them." -- Brian Mawhinney, Chairman English Football League, considering replacing draws with penalty kicks or shootouts a la the current NHL and former NASL.

"I would walk back from the United States to play for England again." -- David Beckham, Needs No Modifier, confirming he can indeed walk on water.

"I just hope he buys dinner a few times." -- Chris Albright, Future Becks Teammate, attempting to lower the expectations just a bit.

And in celebration of St. Paddy's Day, this old chestnut from the Greatest Oirish Soccer Player Ever:

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." -- Georgey Best

MLS Grit Trumps Mexican Guile

Major League Soccer staked a claim to international respectability on Thursday night as the Houston Dynamo blanked defending Copa Nissan Sudamericana Champion Pachuca 2-nil and DC United stunned 11-time Mexican League Champion CD Guadalajara (Chivas) with an extra-time equalizer for a 1-1 draw in the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinals. Houston now holds a two-goal lead going into the return match at Pachuca on April 5, while DC heads to Guadalajara on April 3 all even with Chivas.

As significant as the results themselves are -- prior to tonight MLS teams were 1-7 against Mexican opponents in CCC competition since 2002 -- the fire, intensity and toughness of the American clubs was even more impressive. Houston did not have a great game, by any means, but despite defensive lapses and periods of frustrating ineptness, the Dynamo kept their cool in the face of withering, albeit predictable, Mexican "gamesmanship" and fought for every yard of Robertson Stadium. Eventually, it paid off as Brian Ching opened the scoring with his signature play -- a well-placed headball goal -- before substitute Chris Wondolowski iced the match at the end. Pachuca, for their part, whined like over-tired toddlers at Chuck-E-Cheese.

DC's performance was a classic smash-and-grab job. Chivas dictated the tempo, came in studs high and defended like demons in their own third. Most teams would've accepted defeat when Omar Bravo's rather pedestrian header ricocheted into the net in the 63rd minute, but United, to their credit, are not most teams. In a sequence that summed up the night -- and the crucial, defining difference between the MLS and Mexican clubs -- Ben Olsen repelled a Luche Libre-style tackle/mugging and refused to be be baited into a retaliatory foul call to earn a free kick just outside of the Chivas box on the right. While Chivas continued jawing with Bearded Ben, Christian Gomez took his one chance of the evening with aplomb, placing the ball right onto the head of newbie Luciano Emilio for a game-tying goal which set off a frenzied celebration at RFK Stadium.

So there you have it. The Dynamo and DC were stronger, mentally and physically, on the night. And if they can overcome what promises to be even worse behavior in two weeks (hopefully without the benefit of hometown officiating) they can close the deal. They can both reach the CONCACAF Champions Cup Finals. And that, my friends would be a major accomplishment for Major League Soccer.

CONCACAF Semifinals Overture: Physical Graffiti

UPDATE 8:30 ET: Power Outtage Postpones Dynamo-Pachuca
SECOND UPDATE: Match Rescheduled, Thursday March 15

Mexican players have elevated physical, dirty play to an art form. Like graffiti artists, they employ prohibited tactics, but the skill, daring and sheer audacity of their machinations strikes a chord with an admiring, forgiving public, which the "artisans" happily accept as an affirmation of their conduct. And the band plays on.

As the curtain rises on the first-leg of the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinal round, the Houston Dynamo host Pachuca CF (tonight, 8:30 ET, FSC) and DC United entertain CD Guadalajara Chivas (Thurs, 8 ET, FSC). If Major League Soccer's 1-7 record against Mexican opponents in the regional club championsip since 2002 is any indication, Houston and DC are about to get trampled under foot.

The US National Team, however, has dramatically changed the tempo against El Tricolor by fighting hard for every loose ball, challenging every shot and ignoring every provocation. The underdog MLS clubs would be wise to take note.

With Dwayne De Rosario and Brian Ching questionable, Pachuca will go hard at Brian Mullan, Brad Davis and Paul Dalglish. Houston needs to reply in kind. In Washington, Christian Gomez and Luciano Emilio will get rougher treatment than Dick Cheney's hunting buddy. Again, DC must set a similar tone with Chivas striker Omar Bravo, minus the thuggery and yellow cards.

Here's hoping the MLS clubs keep the score tight in these first-leg matches, putting all the pressure on the Mexican teams in the first week of April. Otherwise, US soccer fans will be sick again.

Match Previews: SI.com | Soccernet

MLS Clubs Are Semi-Tough

Both Major League Soccer squads in the CONCACAF Champions Cup advanced to the semifinal round on Thursday night, with DC United skipping past CD Olimpia (Honduras) and defending MLS Champ Houston Dynamo overcoming a one-goal first-leg deficit to edge Puntarenas FC (Costa Rica).

DC's new Brazilian striker Luciano Emilio tormented his former teammates with two goals, including a particularly nifty tally where he showed steely calm in the box before nonchalantly slotting the ball home into the far corner of the net. At first glance, he's either an arrogant prima donna or a smooth operator with a clinical touch. It bears watching. Also, the RFK playing field was total crap. On the plus side, the Bobby Boswell website looks like it will either be lots of fun or ridiculously, mockingly awful. Either way, it's a win-win.

Aggie Soccer Stadium, on the other hand, looked pretty good, but the game itself was a bit of a yawner. Although if the Dalglish striker for Houston was named Kenny, instead of Paul, it would've been a complete romp for the homeside. Dalglish the Younger did find the net once. Speaking of Dalglishes (see how I did that?) have you seen King Kenny's daughter and Paul's sister on the English version of Sportscenter? Not bad. It's a safe bet she'll never walk alone.

Back to the tournament, which will feature an all MLS vs. Mexican League semifinal round. Dynamo will face Pachuca on March 14 and April 5. DC gets CD Guadalajara (Chivas) on March 15 and April 3. Pachuca currently leads the Clausura Group 2 table while Chivas is tied for first in points and one goal back in differential in Clausura Group 1. The winner of the CONCACAF Champions Cup gets seeded into FIFA's World Club Championship, which has become an annual celebration of Brazilian soccer.

BREAKING NEWS: Sun Comes Up, Team USA beats Mexico...Again

Excellent roundup of the U.S. Men's National Team's 2-nil victory over Mexico last night at Soccer by Ives. The childish behavior of the Hugo Sanchezettes and Landon Donovan's understandably perturbed reaction is particularly good stuff.

In Red Bull-related news, Bruce Arena did a nice job on the ESPN2 broadcast, unlike Dave O'Brien, the Chief Wiggum of soccer broadcasters. "Nothing to see here," he says, "Not alot of action," as Bornstein, Albright, Conrad and Bocanegra scrape and scramble for every ball played into the US third of the pitch, out-muscle or out-hustle the Mexican attack, and play the ball up the field. Sigh. According to Chief Wiggum, if a goal isn't scored every five minutes or so, the game is crap.

But O'Brien does have the pipes for a TV broadcast, which brings us back to Arena, who does not. Bruce has a nasally delivery which borders on whiny, but that in no way diminishes his strong analysis of the game. How refreshing was it to hear a Soccer Talking Head blast the twitchy, eye-bulging ref for the unnecessary yellows about 10 minutes into the match? And whenever Wynalda veered into It's Been Five Minutes I Need To Gratituitously Slam The US Strikers Land, Bruce gently threw his mercurial colleague -- and more importantly the viewers -- a lifeline, replying, "Well, actually, we should probably give the Mexican defense credit there, they defended that play well as a group." Pertinent, intelligent commentary trumps silky-smooth, but vapid, claptrap any day of the week. Just like the US tops Mexico any day of the week.