Becks Scores, The Land of Coors

It was inevitable David Beckham would celebrate his return from exile and Capello's comic capitulation by finding the back of the net. So what now? Well, a few things.

1) The chances of speeding up Beckham's arrival in LA via buyout are now slimmer than Nicole Ritchie. Real took a much deserved public relations hit by benching and verbally slamming one of their most valuable assets and went into the tank on the field to boot. With the Primera Division still up for grabs and Real's last domestic match scheduled for June 17, the Galacticos will hang onto Becks for the duration.

2) Major League Soccer will now go into Ixnay on the EckhamBay Mode. The league can't allow the whole first half of the 2007 season to be held hostage to When Will He Come? What New Hairstyle Will He Have? and What Will Posh Wear? stories, especially after the 2006 campaign was overshadowed by the World Cup.

3) Capello is history. It's one thing for Guti to speak up, but when Raul, who never wanted Becks at the Bernabeu in the first place and barely tolerates him now, publicy embraced the former England captain, Fabio immediately became Fredo. The only question is, when will the Real bosses take him fishing?

Speaking of fishing, let's discuss the Colorado Rapids (How's that for a cornball segue?). Rumor had it the MLS franchise nestled in the Rocky Mountains was not only going to sell its soul to Arsene Wenger and the Gooners, but that they were going to adopt the name of their new patrons and call themselves the Colorado Arsenal. Or Arsenal Colorado. Whatever. Either way, what actually happened was the Rapids announced new branding and colors (oddly mimicking Aston Villa and West Ham and nothing at all like Thierry Henry's kit) and a partnership deal with Arsenal concerning player development and preseason tours.

Some folks got hot and bothered about the potential name change, while others thought it was a great idea. The thinking here is that the Colorado Rapids is a fine name, bringing up thoughts of icy cold water which is used (if you believe the commercials) to make watered down Lite Beer in a cool silver can. Plus, changing the name to Arsenal could've been another Houston 1836 fiasco and MLS doesn't need to shoot itself in the foot again. How so? One word: Columbine.