Anelka, Torres, Lampard and Dempsey?

Don't look now, but American Clint Dempsey may be the hottest striker on the planet. Fresh off a nice goal against Best Team in the World Ever Brazil and recognition as Fulham's Player of the Month, Dempsey knocked in another goal for the Cottagers, helping the London club to a 1-1 draw with Wigan. Dempsey trails only The Big Sulk, Nicolas Anelka, in the English Premier League Goal Scoring Race (wait, it'll eventually update) and is currently tied with Spanish stud Fernando Torres and Chelski's Fat Frank Lampard with three goals. UPDATE: Hat Tip to Football is for the Madman for digging up the Dempsey goal video right quick. Madman also has the hot-off-the-presses video of DaMarcus Beasley's neat finish for Rangers today.

All Losses Equal, Some More Equal Than Others

The US Men's National Team dropped a 4-2 decision to World Power Brazil on Sunday which wasn't bad. Later the same day, the Red Bull were routed 3-nil by Chivas USA which was bad. Very bad.

Clint Dempsey, Bob Bradley and Company played their hearts out against superior opponents, made big plays and gained valuable experience. Claudio Reyna, Bruce Arena and the Gang rolled over against superior opponents, made horrible plays and lost whatever momentum gained in the now long-forgotten win over Chicago.

So, The Nats can now build on Sunday's performance, traveling to South Africa and later Europe in further international friendly competition. The Red Bull, however, need to find the spine so lacking in L.A. before facing the resurgent Fire in Chicago on Saturday.

With Friendlies Like These, Who Needs Enemas?

Perhaps the term "scared shitless" is too harsh, but how would you feel lugging a four-game losing streak into a friendly with Brazil? Picture yourself as newbie U.S. National Team Coach Bob Bradley, Gold Cup victory over CONCACAF nemesis Mexico inexplicably buried in favor of Copa America B-Team chatter, and your boss, Sunil Gulati, invites you to lunch and sitting there at the table is none other than the latest Free Agent European Soccer Genius Fabio Capello. Howya feelin' now? Ready for Ronaldinho, Kaka and Robinho in Chicago?

Why Bob Bradley is The Right Guy for Job

The removal of the interim tag from Bob Bradley's title as Head Coach of the US Men's National Team has stimulated vigorous debate, from those who ask what the heck took so long to those questioning the wisdom of hiring yet another American coach. But there are two good reasons for making Bob Bradley The Man: 1) He understands the unique circumstances of American players and 2) He genuinely, intensely, passionately wanted the gig.

Bradley Knows American Players:

American soccer players must overcome obstacles simply not found in Germany, Argentina, France, Portugal or Sweden (to name a few totally random nations), including Little League, Pop Warner, AAU hoops, a totally hostile print media, an indifferent to curious-at-best broadcast media, a Corporate Culture largely invested in rival domestic professional sports and their stadia and an Amateur-to-NCAA-to-Pro structure totally alien to world soccer.

Bob Bradley grew up in this environment and helped grow the sport of soccer -- both collegiately and professionally -- despite these obstacles (unlike Jurgen Klinsmann, Jose Pekerman, Gerard Houllier, Carlos Queiroz or Sven-Goran Ericcson to name a few totally random coaches). Bradley can relate to Jay DeMerit's journey. Can Klinsmann? Bradley can commiserate with the struggles of DaMarcus Beasley. Can Queiroz? Houllier? This shared experience in surmounting these challenges should not be dismissed lightly.

Bradley Wants the Gig:

Memo to US Soccer: You wore your best little black dress, took them to dinner, paid for their lobster (YouTube), but at the end of the night, Klinsmann, Pekerman, Houllier, Queiroz and Ericcson et al were just not that into you. We know it hurts, but it was Bradley who loved you all along, and you should thank your lucky stars that he looked the other way while you shamelessly courted the Foreign Legion.

Despite your indiscretions, Bradley will do everything he can to guide you through the peaks and valleys on the path to South Africa 2010. And he won't abandon you along the way, which does tend to happen when foreign coaches start feeling the heat en route to the World Cup Finals. Bradley's aim is true (YouTube). Dalliances aside, you made the right call.

Two Tough: Donovan, Bradley Make Their Case

One supposedly needs to win over fickle fans. The other is apparently Plan B for US Soccer Bosses. On Sunday, Landon Donovan and Bob Bradley answered their critics emphatically, and more importantly, showed their fellow US National Team members how to face adversity off the field and deliver where it counts -- on the pitch.

Certainly there were many key contributors in the 3-1 victory over Ecuador before 31,000 at Raymond James Stadium -- a gutty Brian Ching and inspiring newbies Benny Feilhaber and the Coach's Kid among them -- but it was Donovan, wearing the captain's armband and the hoary memory of World Cup 2006 with steely resolve, and Bradley, somehow managing to look dignified on the sidelines despite the increasingly shoddy treatment and working conditions he's endured, who led the way on Sunday. Big time.

This bodes well, not only for Donovan and Bradley, but for all fans of US Soccer. Despite the naysayers, these two guys are both very good at their jobs. And their teammates know it. So when they go out and beat a tough South American side so completely, this reinforces their faith in their captain and their coach, even if that faith is not forthcoming from others. And bonds like that are strong. Just like Donovan and Bradley.

Red Bull Sign...Er...A Fullback

There's some good news and some bad news coming out of Red Bull camp after the anticlimactic Media Day announcements (we'll get to those later). The good news is, the Red Bull have made a trade. The bad news is it's for fullback Hunter Freeman (hat tip to Soccer by Ives for original report), not the striker with a proven track record of scoring goals at a top level the Red Bull desperately covet.

Nothing against Freeman, who could provide cover should Marvell Wynne and/or Todd Dunivant be drafted into US National Team duty this summer, but the Search for a Goalscorer (h/t Big Apple Soccer) is certainly a higher priority with the season scheduled to kick-off in two weeks and youngster Jozy Altidore, veteran supersub-type John Wolyniec and various trialists, newbies, draftees and attacking midfielders comprising the sum total of Red Bull scoring options.

Media Day was limited to 1) a TV Deal with MSG short on specifics and long on hyberbole, 2) a sponsorship partnership deal with adidas and a healthcare company and 3) various and sundry public relations jive.

On the plus side, MetroFanatic kicked serious butt with their coverage, featuring excellent Q&A's and headshots of several players, including Claudio Reyna, Dema Kovalenko, Marvell Wynne and Jozy Altidore. Check it out, fantastic... er ... fanatic stuff.

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 5

Dog Pile on the Rabbit! Dog Pile on the Rabbit! One of the greatest films ever made, A Hare Grows in Manhattan, contains a scene where our hero, Bugs Bunny, is set upon by a group of snarling dogs, who all jump on top of our beleaguered protagonist, exclaiming "Dog pile on the rabbit! Dog pile on the rabbit!" Well, this past week was an off-the-field Dog Pile on the Red Bull Extravaganza.

Ives Galarcep kicked it off with a column, citing unnamed sources, which claimed the Red Bull lost $14 million last year. Ives then blogged about the rather obtuse response from Red Bull Managing Director Marc de Grandpre. Soccernet chipped in with their version of de Grandpre's comments. as did Big Apple Soccer, who managed to get the Red Bull Front Office Honcho to correspond via email. Big Apple Soccer also reported the Red Bull thought its TV broadcasts of road games didn't actually need announcers at the match, but could be handled via monitors back home in New York. Not good.

Two points:

1) Ives and Michael Lewis have been doing great work on the local soccer beat for a very long time. It's their job to cover both on the field and off the field news, and the exposure of bad news or shady dealings is good for the Red Bull and Major League Soccer. Justice Brandeis was correct. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. These guys bring it.

2) The Red Bull Corporation in general and de Grandpre in particular (all that's missing with this guy is the twirling moustache) came in last year and basically blew the whole place up. That inevitably results in hard feelings. But feelings aside, let's see how the season shakes out and the move to Red Bull Park in Harrison, NJ progresses before getting hysterical. The arrival of Bruce Arena, the construction of a terrific new soccer-specific stadium and the infusion of capital (how many other MLS owners have voluntarily splashed out $14 Mil in one year?) could very well result in The Rise of the Red Bull.

Hat Tip to The Offside Rules for alerting us to this San Diego Union-Trib article highlighting Qualcomm Stadium's mad soccer jones due to popular demand in Southern California. You stay classy, San Diego!

Interim US National Team Head Coach Bob Bradley (Man, when will we be able to stop typing interim? Enough is enough. Sunil, you listenin'?) announced his training squad for the upcoming friendlies against Ecuador and Guatemala.

David Beckham Update: Becks gets lotsa love on the internet tubes.

The US Women's Nats won the 2007 Algarve Cup. You go girls!

Cobi Jones is hanging 'em up after this season.

"A Short Saying Oft Contains Much Wisdom"Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)

"That's our reward, to play at the highest elevation in Mexico." -- Dominic Kinnear, Houston Dynamo Coach/Avid Mountain Climber, relishing his upcoming trip to Pachuca's Estadio Hidalgo, which sits a mere 7,960 feet above sea level.

"Now we know how they play; they're a dangerous team. But I think in Pachuca we can make things right." -- Enrique Meza, Pachuca Coach/Tactical Genius, belatedly realizing the MLS Champs were a dangerous team.

"Things were a little chippy." -- Ben Olsen, DC United Midfielder/Provocateur describing the action at RFK Thursday night against Chivas Guadalajara.

"EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!!!!!!" -- Entire, Enraged Chivas Squad, expressing their displeasure with Bearded Ben after the match.

"I don't go a day or two without talking to Freddy (Adu), Danny (Szetela) or Timmy Ward. We all know it's going to be a challenge." -- Michael Bradley, US U-20 Midfielder, demonstrating team spirit and maturity when discussing this summer's U-20 World Cup Finals.

"It would be an honor to work in a club like Real Madrid." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea Manager, demonstrating appalling disloyalty and puerile narcissism when discussing this summer's The Apprentice: Bernabéu debacle. Red Bull Rising Reminder: Fredo's goin' fishin'.

"We want to help MLS increase the interest in soccer overall because if the interest in soccer increases, then interest in leagues like the Bundesliga increases." -- Christian Seifert, Bundesliga CEO, efficiently gets to the bottom line of the MLS-Bundesliga partnership.

"Franz is the one who has brought us together and had this overall concept," -- Ivan Gazidis, MLS Deputy Commish, painfully name-drops Der Kaiser at the Miami Beach press conference.

Speaking of beaches (see how I did that?):

"We can give them a beach-head in the United States." -- Jeff Plush, Colorado Rapids Managing Director, on what Arsenal gains from the historic Gooner-Rapids partnership.

"This injury isn't down to my age. It's the number of games played that causes injury. Look at (Franck) Ribery, (Claude) Makelele, (William) Gallas, (Patrick) Viera, they are all injured. Even Ronaldinho is 'dead'. Same for Deco. Or (Steven) Gerrard. This is not the great, the real Gerrard (this season). The players doing well now are those who played less last season." -- Thierry Henry, Exhausted Gunner, more concerned with the ridiculous fixture overload damaging the world's best players than the heretofore mystical, hidden beaches of Commerce City, Colorado.

"New players are not expected to be shrinking violets, but neither are they supposed to throw themselves around like big-time Charlies." -- Unnamed Source, England National Team, throwing recently arrested Citeh midfielder Joey Barton under a double-decker bus.

"Managers may hate penalty shoot-outs but fans love them." -- Brian Mawhinney, Chairman English Football League, considering replacing draws with penalty kicks or shootouts a la the current NHL and former NASL.

"I would walk back from the United States to play for England again." -- David Beckham, Needs No Modifier, confirming he can indeed walk on water.

"I just hope he buys dinner a few times." -- Chris Albright, Future Becks Teammate, attempting to lower the expectations just a bit.

And in celebration of St. Paddy's Day, this old chestnut from the Greatest Oirish Soccer Player Ever:

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." -- Georgey Best

CONCACAF Semifinals Overture: Physical Graffiti

UPDATE 8:30 ET: Power Outtage Postpones Dynamo-Pachuca
SECOND UPDATE: Match Rescheduled, Thursday March 15

Mexican players have elevated physical, dirty play to an art form. Like graffiti artists, they employ prohibited tactics, but the skill, daring and sheer audacity of their machinations strikes a chord with an admiring, forgiving public, which the "artisans" happily accept as an affirmation of their conduct. And the band plays on.

As the curtain rises on the first-leg of the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinal round, the Houston Dynamo host Pachuca CF (tonight, 8:30 ET, FSC) and DC United entertain CD Guadalajara Chivas (Thurs, 8 ET, FSC). If Major League Soccer's 1-7 record against Mexican opponents in the regional club championsip since 2002 is any indication, Houston and DC are about to get trampled under foot.

The US National Team, however, has dramatically changed the tempo against El Tricolor by fighting hard for every loose ball, challenging every shot and ignoring every provocation. The underdog MLS clubs would be wise to take note.

With Dwayne De Rosario and Brian Ching questionable, Pachuca will go hard at Brian Mullan, Brad Davis and Paul Dalglish. Houston needs to reply in kind. In Washington, Christian Gomez and Luciano Emilio will get rougher treatment than Dick Cheney's hunting buddy. Again, DC must set a similar tone with Chivas striker Omar Bravo, minus the thuggery and yellow cards.

Here's hoping the MLS clubs keep the score tight in these first-leg matches, putting all the pressure on the Mexican teams in the first week of April. Otherwise, US soccer fans will be sick again.

Match Previews: SI.com | Soccernet

Crew Hit Jackpot, Win Robbie Rogers Sweepstakes

They might not win much on the field, but the Columbus Crew are mad lucky when it comes to Major League Soccer weighted lotteries. Or they keep finishing in last place. We report. You decide. Regardless, the Crew picked up U-20 US National Team member Robbie Rogers, as the 19-year-old lefty attacking midfielder cut short his tenure with Heerenveen of the Dutch Eredivisie so he could return to The States.

Columbus has cornered the market on the MLS Lottery deal, having landed Danny Szetela in similar circumstances over two years ago. With fellow former Maryland Terrapins Jason Garey and Marc Burch, and Team USA teammates Szetela and Tim Ward in Columbus, Rogers, a native of Huntington Beach, California, may not be totally devastated to end up with the Crew, instead of the LA Galaxy or Chivas USA. Yeah, right.

Take note gang. Szetela hasn't exactly set the world on fire the past two seasons and Rogers, in his abbreviated stint with Heerenveen, never played a minute for the Big Club, which finds regular minutes from former MetroStar/Red Bull Michael Bradley, son of current Interim US Men's National Team Head Coach Bob Bradley. Rogers, Szetela et al are indeed excellent potential talents, but it remains to be seen if that potential will be reached under the tutelage of Sigi Schmid.

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 3

The Red Bull kicked off the Californication portion of their preseason with a nil-nil draw against the Beckhamless Los Angeles Galaxy. Claudio Reyna and Ronald Waterreus were spared any exertions after the cross-country flight, with Dema Kovalenko serving as captain.

Newbies Sinisa Ubiparapovic (man, if this guy makes the team I need to set up a quick key), Dane Richards, Ansu Toure and Hugh MacDonald all got a run out after "making the trip." The rest of the Golden State schedule is as follows: Houston Dynamo today, University of California on Friday, March 9 and CD Chivas USA on Wednesday March 14.

MacDonald, like Red Bull assistant coach John Harkes and former MetroStars Tony Meola and Tab Ramos, hails from Kearny, New Jersey and may land a developmental contract, according to the MetroFanatic. While we're tossing out "mays," Big Apple Soccer says Gio Savarese and the Red Bull may have severed their relationship.

The big news out of LA is the medical condition of the professional athlete who just signed a multi-million dollar contract with a franchise that claims to be from Los Angeles but really isn't. But enough about chemically-enhanced, cheating Angels. Let's discuss David Beckham. After suffering ligament damage to his right knee in Sunday's Real Madrid match, Becks will be on the shelf for about a month or so. The resulting hand-wringing and castigation, while entertainingly melodramatic, is more than a bit overwrought. Now that Golden Balls won't be battling through the next round of the Champions League with the Galacticos or desperately fighting his way into Three Lions contention, there's a much better chance that he will be healthy, rested and good to go for the Galaxy by July.

"A short saying oft contains much wisdom" -- Sophocles

"They were getting their diapers changed, I think." -- Mo Johnston, Toronto FC, after two of his young players were late for training.

"On the one hand we want to anchor Barca in the colleges and on the other form a partnership with a Major League club, maybe even in an official way with the Barca brand." -- Joan Laporta, Barcelona, winking madly in the direction of MLS while trying to maintain a modicum of decency.

"If the club decides to sack me because of bad results that is part of the game. If that happens I will be a millionaire and I will get another club a couple of months later." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea, tossing decency, class and humility out the window while giving the finger to Russian oil billionaire Roman Abramovich.

"I will never work for Sigi again. I will never play for him, never join his coaching staff." -- Jon Busch, former Columbus Crew goalkeeper, taking the subtle approach regarding his future job prospects with Sigi Schmid.

"He's an easy target. He has a big head, wears tight shorts and wraps his wrists." -- Jimmy Conrad, Kansas City Wizards, explaining why he picks on fellow US National Team member Taylor Twellman.

The China Syndrome

US Soccer is gettin' busy with China on several fronts as the Men's National Team is scheduled to play a friendly against the Chinese on June 2 in San Jose, while the fledgling Women's Soccer Initiative is attempting to leverage any buzz gained from the Women's World Cup 2008 in China into another shot at a professional women's league in the United States.

Hopefully the "friendly" won't degenerate into a full-scale brawl like the one Queens Park Rangers and the Chinese Olympic Team had a few weeks ago. Check out the YouTube video. Not Good. Speaking of China and not good, have you checked the latest financial news? Double Not Good.

You Go Girls! Mia Hamm and Julie Foudy were elected to the National Soccer Hall of Fame, and fittingly will be the first all-female player class inducted to the Hall in Oneonta, NY on August 26. Congrats to Mia and Julie. Fawcett and Lilly should be next.

The Kids Are Alright: Two oddball stories came across the internet tubes, one concerning two massive Spanish clubs bidding on an 11-year-old boy and the other regarding a girl getting ejected from a youth tourney in Canada for wearing a religious head scarf.

Laureano Luduena is the young Argentine who in the past two years has reportedly scored 160 goals and Barcelona and Real Madrid are allegedly interested in purchasing the rights to this young man's soccer future. Too soon?

The 11-year-old girl was wearing a hijab, which Laval, Quebec officials deemed a no-no, despite the fact the youngster had worn it without any problems in her own Ontario-based league. Too much?

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 2

MLS Rookie of the Year Jonathan Bornstein's MCL injury is a bummer for Chivas USA, and coupled with Bobby Convey's recent setback, the US Men's National Team is now so vulnerable on the left that a campaign to draft Al Gore for spot duty is gaining momentum.

MLS Underground handicaps the more realistic replacements, including Citeh's DaMarcus Beasley, Chicago's Justin Mapp and Red Bull Todd Dunivant. Two other Americans in fine form are Jonathan Spector with the Hammers and Jay DeMerit of Watford. Braving the frenetic pace, crackling emotions and superlative skills of the EPL, surely they deserve a look from Bob Bradley. Plus, in a pinch, Jay can play goalkeeper. Check out SI.com's photo essay. Good stuff.

God has spoken: "I even saw a move to the USA mentioned, but I honestly haven't even thought about anything like that yet." As always, the Gospel According to Robbie Fowler is open to interpretation. The Evangelical Robbie to MLS Crowd will emphasize the word "yet." If Robbie is definitely not considering Major League Soccer, why add the qualifier "yet" to his denial? The Doubters will note the lifelong Scouser spends most Sunday's praying at posh, English racetracks and is unlikely to chase a paycheck across the Atlantic.
UPDATE, FEB 28: Revs' Steve Nicol Says Robbie May Come

Thomas Gravesen is being linked with the LA Galaxy. Head Coach Frank Yallop is quoted as interested in the player, which may mean he's operating under the same misconception that Real Madrid and the belligerent Dane's current club, Glasgow Celtic did. Point One: While Gravesen looks the part of a bone-crunching midfield marauder in the Roy Keane or Pablo Mastroeni mold, he's actually more of an offensive minded player whose rare forays into the physical side of the game often result in his being whistled for rash, ill-timed tackles. Point Two: Gravesen also wore out his welcome at Real by fighting with his teammates, bitching to the press and generally behaving like a spoiled brat. Now he can't crack the Celtic lineup and is pulling the same crap. Beware, LA, Beware.

Speaking of Celtic, Rocker Rod Stewart, a huge fan of the Scottish club, in search of a proper venue to watch the Hoops take on AC Milan in the Champions League last week, chose the Irish-American Club in Kearny, New Jersey, hometown of former US National Team and MLS stars John Harkes, Tony Meola and Tab Ramos.

BREAKING NEWS: Sun Comes Up, Team USA beats Mexico...Again

Excellent roundup of the U.S. Men's National Team's 2-nil victory over Mexico last night at Soccer by Ives. The childish behavior of the Hugo Sanchezettes and Landon Donovan's understandably perturbed reaction is particularly good stuff.

In Red Bull-related news, Bruce Arena did a nice job on the ESPN2 broadcast, unlike Dave O'Brien, the Chief Wiggum of soccer broadcasters. "Nothing to see here," he says, "Not alot of action," as Bornstein, Albright, Conrad and Bocanegra scrape and scramble for every ball played into the US third of the pitch, out-muscle or out-hustle the Mexican attack, and play the ball up the field. Sigh. According to Chief Wiggum, if a goal isn't scored every five minutes or so, the game is crap.

But O'Brien does have the pipes for a TV broadcast, which brings us back to Arena, who does not. Bruce has a nasally delivery which borders on whiny, but that in no way diminishes his strong analysis of the game. How refreshing was it to hear a Soccer Talking Head blast the twitchy, eye-bulging ref for the unnecessary yellows about 10 minutes into the match? And whenever Wynalda veered into It's Been Five Minutes I Need To Gratituitously Slam The US Strikers Land, Bruce gently threw his mercurial colleague -- and more importantly the viewers -- a lifeline, replying, "Well, actually, we should probably give the Mexican defense credit there, they defended that play well as a group." Pertinent, intelligent commentary trumps silky-smooth, but vapid, claptrap any day of the week. Just like the US tops Mexico any day of the week.