"The reality of MLS budgets is that teams don't have the money to go out and become Chelsea or Arsenal." -- MLS Deputy Commissioner Ivan Gazidis attempting to obliterate the Stating the Obvious Barrier in an otherwise interesting breakdown of the new Major League Soccer rules.
"If it's a jump ball, we're the fourth-largest market and they're not." -- Sons of Ben advocate Carl Cherkin mixing his sports metaphors in an otherwise intelligent analysis of the Philly vs. St. Louis MLS Expansion Franchise Steel Cage Match Extravaganza.
"Some mistakes I feel like I made as a 15, 16-year-old obviously I wouldn't repeat now, because I learned a lot from it and it helped make me a better person." -- Maturing Freddy Adu getting all philosophical and stuff in an otherwise straightforward feature on the former MLS, current Benfica prodigy.
"We are investigating as to whether the policeman was justified in taking out his firearm and discharging it, and also why he had it with him during the match." -- Malaysian official employing dry government-speak in an otherwise extraordinary report regarding a soccer referee packing heat and making like Yosemite Sam in a recent game gone bad.
Red Bull Rising Quotes Archive
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
MLS Week Five: Tough Starts and Quick Brains
After his first game in charge of Real Salt Lake, a shaky Jason Kreis sounded just like another guy (YouTube) who landed a top job despite a disturbing lack of experience. On the other hand, Steve Ralston, armed with more experience (YouTube) than you could shake a corner flag at, employed his superior Soccer IQ to spark the Revs past the Fire. Here's Week Five of Major League Soccer 2007, in the words of the participants themselves.
Red Bull 3, Real Salt Lake 3 -- "It was difficult for me, to be honest. I didn't know really what to do. I didn't know whether to be sitting, standing, or standing on my head. It was tough," Newbie Jason Kreis calms the RSL faithful with steady assurances he's up for the job.
DC United 2, Chivas USA 1 -- "We're in no spot right now to get upset about ugly wins. We needed a win, we needed three points, and we got it ... No, it wasn't pretty, I'm not going to watch it, but again, it's a win ... We won. Leave us alone," Sunny Ben Olsen looks on the bright side of a butt-ugly victory in LA.
NE Revolution 3, Chicago Fire 1 -- "The brain is always quicker than the legs and he proves it," Dr. Steve Nicol does a physical examination of Steve Ralston's quick-brained, slow-legged performance.
Houston Dynamo 3, Colorado Rapids 1 -- "Kyle [Beckerman] and Jovan [Kirovski] were too deep. They never really participated in the offense until the last 10 minutes. There was a lot of room for them (Houston) to break through the midfield," Fashionista Fernando Clavijo fitting two of his players with stylish, but tasteful, goat-horns.
KC Wizards 1, Columbus Crew 0 -- "We have to make sure that we keep our heads on our shoulders and not get too excited about the fact that we have 12 points right now. We need to make sure we are focusing on the grand scheme, and that is winning championships," Veteran Kevin Hartman tries to keep it real in Kansas City.
Colorado Rapids 2, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Any time we get to beat this team here, in front of their fans, it's awesome. We like to send them home unhappy," Rocky Mountain Cup Series participant Kyle Beckerman shows the love to soccer fans in Utah.
NE Revolution 1, DC United 1 -- "Well, we didn’t lose, but we still didn’t win," Master of the Obvious Josh Gros gets philosophical about DC's struggles.
MLS Quotes: Week One | Two | Three | Four | Archive
Red Bull 3, Real Salt Lake 3 -- "It was difficult for me, to be honest. I didn't know really what to do. I didn't know whether to be sitting, standing, or standing on my head. It was tough," Newbie Jason Kreis calms the RSL faithful with steady assurances he's up for the job.
DC United 2, Chivas USA 1 -- "We're in no spot right now to get upset about ugly wins. We needed a win, we needed three points, and we got it ... No, it wasn't pretty, I'm not going to watch it, but again, it's a win ... We won. Leave us alone," Sunny Ben Olsen looks on the bright side of a butt-ugly victory in LA.
NE Revolution 3, Chicago Fire 1 -- "The brain is always quicker than the legs and he proves it," Dr. Steve Nicol does a physical examination of Steve Ralston's quick-brained, slow-legged performance.
Houston Dynamo 3, Colorado Rapids 1 -- "Kyle [Beckerman] and Jovan [Kirovski] were too deep. They never really participated in the offense until the last 10 minutes. There was a lot of room for them (Houston) to break through the midfield," Fashionista Fernando Clavijo fitting two of his players with stylish, but tasteful, goat-horns.
KC Wizards 1, Columbus Crew 0 -- "We have to make sure that we keep our heads on our shoulders and not get too excited about the fact that we have 12 points right now. We need to make sure we are focusing on the grand scheme, and that is winning championships," Veteran Kevin Hartman tries to keep it real in Kansas City.
Colorado Rapids 2, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Any time we get to beat this team here, in front of their fans, it's awesome. We like to send them home unhappy," Rocky Mountain Cup Series participant Kyle Beckerman shows the love to soccer fans in Utah.
NE Revolution 1, DC United 1 -- "Well, we didn’t lose, but we still didn’t win," Master of the Obvious Josh Gros gets philosophical about DC's struggles.
Friday, May 4, 2007
When All Else Fails, Take a Dive
Say you're a fading 33-year-old superstar, consigned to the bench in favor of a relative nobody, as your once proud franchise flounders at the bottom of the table, pointless after three games. Your newbie coach, desperately trying to avoid a pink slip, inserts you into the match for a moment of magic conjured effortlessly five years ago, but at this stage of your illustrious career, the thrill is gone (YouTube). What to do? If you're Jaime Moreno, you take a dive.
New England Revolution defender James Riley, the unwitting straight-man in Moreno's shameful, but ultimately successful farce, summed up the blatant manipulation of the hapless Ref with an honesty which stood in stark contrast to his opponent's mendacity.
"He probably weighs three times as much as me," said Riley, recounting the perfectly legal shoulder-to-shoulder contact in the box which Moreno sir-laurence-olivier-ed into an unwarranted PK and an undeserved draw. "Afterwards, he winked at me. He knew he dove."
And so did everybody else, James. So did everybody else.
New England Revolution defender James Riley, the unwitting straight-man in Moreno's shameful, but ultimately successful farce, summed up the blatant manipulation of the hapless Ref with an honesty which stood in stark contrast to his opponent's mendacity.
"He probably weighs three times as much as me," said Riley, recounting the perfectly legal shoulder-to-shoulder contact in the box which Moreno sir-laurence-olivier-ed into an unwarranted PK and an undeserved draw. "Afterwards, he winked at me. He knew he dove."
And so did everybody else, James. So did everybody else.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
MLS Week Four: Insomnia, Impotence, Inspiration
Winless DC United is tossing and turning at night (YouTube), unable to get any shut-eye in the face of three-straight losses, FC Dallas can't summon the stamina (YouTube) to close the deal in crunch time, and Landon Donovan can barely contain himself (YouTube) in the presence of a loose ball. Welcome to Week Four of Major League Soccer 2007, in the words of the participants themselves.
Red Bulls 1, FC Dallas 0 -- "I don't really care if people underestimate us. Let them and they'll pay the price," Dave (The Big Easy) Van den Bergh calls out the Red-Bulls-Ain't-For-Real crowd.
KC Wizards 1, Toronto FC 0 -- "From the moment we walked out, it was an environment where this is what we live, eat, breathe and sleep for," Eddie Johnson smells the roses in Canada, after beating Toronto FC for the second time in four days.
Columbus Crew 1, DC United 0 -- "We've given up seven goals in three games. It's tough to sleep at night," Troy Perkins prescribes NyQuil as the cure for what ills underachieving United.
NE Revolution 1, FC Dallas 0 -- "We tired badly in the second half and just completely ran out of steam ... we just didn't have the energy to push it at the end," Steve Morrow considers Viagra instead of NyQuil as the cure for what ills slumping Dallas.
LA Galaxy 3, Chivas USA 1 -- "It just squirted free and my eyes just lit up," Landon Donovan provides a glimpse into the soul of a born playmaker, haters be damned.
Chicago Fire 1, Houston Dynamo 0 -- "I don't know if we could have done anything else but score a goal. It's frustrating when you go out there and play that well and come up with nothing. Mostly, we were in their end and pressuring them and to still lose 1-0, that is as frustrating as it gets," Eddie Robinson calls out the Dynamo forwards.
Colorado Rapids 2, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "I would be really angry if they outworked us tonight, and that didn't happen," Eddie Pope apparently quite happy with a 2-nil loss to Real's biggest rival.
MLS Quotes: Week One | Week Two | Week Three | Archive
Red Bulls 1, FC Dallas 0 -- "I don't really care if people underestimate us. Let them and they'll pay the price," Dave (The Big Easy) Van den Bergh calls out the Red-Bulls-Ain't-For-Real crowd.
KC Wizards 1, Toronto FC 0 -- "From the moment we walked out, it was an environment where this is what we live, eat, breathe and sleep for," Eddie Johnson smells the roses in Canada, after beating Toronto FC for the second time in four days.
Columbus Crew 1, DC United 0 -- "We've given up seven goals in three games. It's tough to sleep at night," Troy Perkins prescribes NyQuil as the cure for what ills underachieving United.
NE Revolution 1, FC Dallas 0 -- "We tired badly in the second half and just completely ran out of steam ... we just didn't have the energy to push it at the end," Steve Morrow considers Viagra instead of NyQuil as the cure for what ills slumping Dallas.
LA Galaxy 3, Chivas USA 1 -- "It just squirted free and my eyes just lit up," Landon Donovan provides a glimpse into the soul of a born playmaker, haters be damned.
Chicago Fire 1, Houston Dynamo 0 -- "I don't know if we could have done anything else but score a goal. It's frustrating when you go out there and play that well and come up with nothing. Mostly, we were in their end and pressuring them and to still lose 1-0, that is as frustrating as it gets," Eddie Robinson calls out the Dynamo forwards.
Colorado Rapids 2, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "I would be really angry if they outworked us tonight, and that didn't happen," Eddie Pope apparently quite happy with a 2-nil loss to Real's biggest rival.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
MLS Week Three: In Their Own Words
Patterns are emerging in Major League Soccer's 2007 Season. For instance, the Red Bull is good, and Real Salt Lake and Toronto are ... um ... NOT. Juan Pablo Angel and 15 Argentines have signed with MLS but Zinedine Zidane -- much like Generalissimo Francisco Franco still being dead -- is still not coming. Enough of all that, let's look at Week Three of the MLS Season through the eyes -- and words -- of the players and coaches themselves.
Red Bull 1, Dynamo 0 -- "Besides my brother, nobody else has beat me like that," Red Bull wunderkind Jozy Altidore after Eddie Robinson, Wade Barrett and Ryan Cochrane employed a Wedgies, Arm-Burns and Purple-Nurples strategy instead of the more conventional positioning, tackling and defending plan on Saturday night.
Revolution 2, Columbus Crew 2 -- "If you were sitting where I was sitting, it was absolute torture to watch, from the first minute to the last minute," Revs Coach Steve Nicol doing his bit to pump up ticket sales.
Chicago Fire 2, KC Wizards 1 -- "We're undefeated. You haven't seen our best soccer yet. The next three games will be hard games. Two out of three are on an artificial surface. They'll be tough. But we don't fear the road," Fire Coach Dave Sarachan gets all Blue Oyster Cult Meets FDR after nipping the Wiz.
Chivas USA 4, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Obviously we did not show up today and we got taken advantage of right from the beginning, 30 seconds into the game they scored a goal and that was it," Freddy Adu coming to grips with his decision to leave a winning club so he could get more minutes with a crap expansion team.
FC Dallas 3, Rapids 1 -- "I told Steve [Morrow, Dallas Coach] that I was ready to go. Thank God I was able to prove it on the field because I would have been in trouble," Ramon Nunez after spending much of the week in his native Honduras completing his U.S. residency paperwork.
BONUS QUOTE FROM GAME ONE OF MLS WEEK FOUR
KC Wizards 3, Toronto FC 0 -- "Well, we are building, and building slow," TFC Coach Mo Johnston blaming the Teamsters for his train-wreck of a squad.
Red Bull 1, Dynamo 0 -- "Besides my brother, nobody else has beat me like that," Red Bull wunderkind Jozy Altidore after Eddie Robinson, Wade Barrett and Ryan Cochrane employed a Wedgies, Arm-Burns and Purple-Nurples strategy instead of the more conventional positioning, tackling and defending plan on Saturday night.
Revolution 2, Columbus Crew 2 -- "If you were sitting where I was sitting, it was absolute torture to watch, from the first minute to the last minute," Revs Coach Steve Nicol doing his bit to pump up ticket sales.
Chicago Fire 2, KC Wizards 1 -- "We're undefeated. You haven't seen our best soccer yet. The next three games will be hard games. Two out of three are on an artificial surface. They'll be tough. But we don't fear the road," Fire Coach Dave Sarachan gets all Blue Oyster Cult Meets FDR after nipping the Wiz.
Chivas USA 4, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Obviously we did not show up today and we got taken advantage of right from the beginning, 30 seconds into the game they scored a goal and that was it," Freddy Adu coming to grips with his decision to leave a winning club so he could get more minutes with a crap expansion team.
FC Dallas 3, Rapids 1 -- "I told Steve [Morrow, Dallas Coach] that I was ready to go. Thank God I was able to prove it on the field because I would have been in trouble," Ramon Nunez after spending much of the week in his native Honduras completing his U.S. residency paperwork.
BONUS QUOTE FROM GAME ONE OF MLS WEEK FOUR
KC Wizards 3, Toronto FC 0 -- "Well, we are building, and building slow," TFC Coach Mo Johnston blaming the Teamsters for his train-wreck of a squad.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 9
It's a happy day in the Land of the Red Bull, as the Sports Gods have answered our prayers for an experienced, efficient striker with a Colombian Angel. In this spirit of celebration, our regularly scheduled Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods features the positive, wonderful side of The Beautiful Game.
Red Bull 3, FC Dallas 0 -- "Clint's a great player, so it's easy to play off of him. He has a great nose for the game and whenever he's around, you feel you can always put that one-touch ball to him and spin off," said teenage striker Jozy Altidore, who will be getting more one-touch passes than he can handle once Angel arrives and Reyna gets healthy.
FC Dallas 2, LA Galaxy 1 -- "We scored two great goals in the first half. In the second half we knew it would be a matter of standing up and staying calm against a forceful Galaxy attack and we did. Hats off to the defense for the way they stood up to it," said FC Dallas keeper Shaka Hislop, who probably kept his hat on after the Red Bull loss.
Columbus Crew 0, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Freddy [Adu] played well. He was stuck playing a very good defender in Frankie Hejduk; the guy has played in two or three World Cups," said RSL Head Coach John Ellinger after his squad posted a second straight point off a draw.
KC Wizards 4, DC United 2 -- "Eddie [Johnson] and Scott [Sealy] were dangerous tonight. And I think we need to win every game we play because we're playing better than pretty much any team in the league," said Wizards captain Jimmy Conrad, challenging every other club in the league to try and beat the juggernaut from Kansas City.
NE Revolution 4, Toronto FC 0 -- Obviously (on the) the second [goal], it’s Rally (Ralston) and I doing what we do best, and Stevie (Ralston) played a dime. All I had to do was put it on goal … All 11 guys today were on the same page, and it showed," said Revolution striker Taylor Twellman, presumably keeping a straight face while referring to teammate Steve Ralston as "Rally."
Houston Dynamo 1, Chivas USA 0 -- "Brad Davis dropped in a good ball, and I was in the right place at the right time and headed it in. Brad serves in a good ball, and I was just trying to get free from my man and was able to put it in the back of the net," said Dynamo striker Brian Ching, describing (what else?) another headball goal.
Chicago Fire 1, Colorado Rapids 1 -- "We stuck to our plan, even after the red card, playing tight and compact. We wanted to choose our moments, maybe nick one and hold them and I think we did just that. It's unfortunate that (Chicago) scored that goal, but it's soccer and I think it shows our character coming back and playing a man down again a team like Chicago," said Rapids playmaker Herculez Gomez, after 10-man Colorado held Chicago to a draw.
Red Bull 3, FC Dallas 0 -- "Clint's a great player, so it's easy to play off of him. He has a great nose for the game and whenever he's around, you feel you can always put that one-touch ball to him and spin off," said teenage striker Jozy Altidore, who will be getting more one-touch passes than he can handle once Angel arrives and Reyna gets healthy.
FC Dallas 2, LA Galaxy 1 -- "We scored two great goals in the first half. In the second half we knew it would be a matter of standing up and staying calm against a forceful Galaxy attack and we did. Hats off to the defense for the way they stood up to it," said FC Dallas keeper Shaka Hislop, who probably kept his hat on after the Red Bull loss.
Columbus Crew 0, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Freddy [Adu] played well. He was stuck playing a very good defender in Frankie Hejduk; the guy has played in two or three World Cups," said RSL Head Coach John Ellinger after his squad posted a second straight point off a draw.
KC Wizards 4, DC United 2 -- "Eddie [Johnson] and Scott [Sealy] were dangerous tonight. And I think we need to win every game we play because we're playing better than pretty much any team in the league," said Wizards captain Jimmy Conrad, challenging every other club in the league to try and beat the juggernaut from Kansas City.
NE Revolution 4, Toronto FC 0 -- Obviously (on the) the second [goal], it’s Rally (Ralston) and I doing what we do best, and Stevie (Ralston) played a dime. All I had to do was put it on goal … All 11 guys today were on the same page, and it showed," said Revolution striker Taylor Twellman, presumably keeping a straight face while referring to teammate Steve Ralston as "Rally."
Houston Dynamo 1, Chivas USA 0 -- "Brad Davis dropped in a good ball, and I was in the right place at the right time and headed it in. Brad serves in a good ball, and I was just trying to get free from my man and was able to put it in the back of the net," said Dynamo striker Brian Ching, describing (what else?) another headball goal.
Chicago Fire 1, Colorado Rapids 1 -- "We stuck to our plan, even after the red card, playing tight and compact. We wanted to choose our moments, maybe nick one and hold them and I think we did just that. It's unfortunate that (Chicago) scored that goal, but it's soccer and I think it shows our character coming back and playing a man down again a team like Chicago," said Rapids playmaker Herculez Gomez, after 10-man Colorado held Chicago to a draw.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 8
The internet tubes are chock-full of keyboard strikers pontificating on Week One of the 2007 Major League Soccer season (present company included), so howabout we mix it up a bit and check out the commentary directly from the Horse's Mouths?
Red Bull 0, Crew 0 -- "To be honest it was really sore and its completely swollen up now. It wasn't ideal," said Red Bull captain Claudio Reyna after crumbling to the pitch in a lump, courtesy of newbie Dane Richards' hardest tackle of the night, which unfortunately felled one of the guys in blue shirts, not yellow. "It's disappointing, but I think in four or five days it should be OK." Reassured much folks?
Fire 1, Revolution 0 -- "It's the same old, same old. MLS and the Revolution have closed the door," said disgruntled hardman Shalrie Joseph prior to missing New England's first game with a "calf strain." Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. "They don't want to talk anymore about contract stuff with me ... I was really hoping it would work out well where I would sign a long-term contract and finish my career here. But that wasn't possible ... They don't value my services." It didn't take a genius to see this one coming, did it?
FC Dallas 2, Real Salt Lake 2 -- "It was unlucky," said Real goalkeeper Nick Rimando after his howler gifted Dallas an undeserved draw and caused almost as much drama in Utah since Bill Paxton and Jeanne Tripplehorn arrived.
Chivas USA 2, Toronto FC 0 -- "We should have ended up winning. We had five chances to put it in the back of the net. There's five goals and it's 5-0 at halftime," said Toronto FC defender Jim Brennan, struggling hard not to strain his back while tossing Edson Buddle and Alecko Eskandarian under the bus.
Rapids 2, DC United 1 -- "The field's enormous," said Rapids midfielder Herculez Gomez, once and for all putting to rest the debate over whether or not Size Matters at Dick's Park in Colorado. "We kept moving around, we had players in the midfield, we got players in the back, spray the ball around wide, go through the middle. So it's definitely to our advantage."
Galaxy 0, Dynamo 0 -- "Once I see Dwayne De Rosario and those guys on the other side my blood boils," said LA's Peter Vagenas, debunking the Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Theory.
Speaking of Vagenas, did you see Eric Wynalda's anatomically graphic proposition of shock-jock-turned-jackass-TV-personality Jim Rome? Sheesh. Not that there's anything wrong with that (YouTube), but c'mon guys, rent a room and leave us out of it. When not shamelessly courting Rome, Wynalda seems oddly fixated on Landon Donovan. "I don’t know if getting married is going to help him," said Dr. Phil ...er... Wynalda. "But he has already been in a situation where I think a lot of the decisions he has been making have been about his personal life, about being happy, about being where he needs to be." Memo to Eric: Less Deepak Chopra and more Christian Gomez.
Speaking of talking out of your ...er... well, you know, here's the latest on the Colorado Rapids-Arsenal saga:
"At this point, there is no interest or intention from KSE in buying any shares or any pieces of Arsenal Football Club or any club in the English Premier League," -- Jurgen Mainka, Official Mouthpiece, Colorado Rapids, denying reports KSE would purchase ITV's 9.9 percent stake in Arsenal, exactly ten days before KSE did indeed buy the British Broadcaster's shares in the Gooners. Evidently, Mainka's initial statement, the emphatic denial, is no longer operative.
Red Bull 0, Crew 0 -- "To be honest it was really sore and its completely swollen up now. It wasn't ideal," said Red Bull captain Claudio Reyna after crumbling to the pitch in a lump, courtesy of newbie Dane Richards' hardest tackle of the night, which unfortunately felled one of the guys in blue shirts, not yellow. "It's disappointing, but I think in four or five days it should be OK." Reassured much folks?
Fire 1, Revolution 0 -- "It's the same old, same old. MLS and the Revolution have closed the door," said disgruntled hardman Shalrie Joseph prior to missing New England's first game with a "calf strain." Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. "They don't want to talk anymore about contract stuff with me ... I was really hoping it would work out well where I would sign a long-term contract and finish my career here. But that wasn't possible ... They don't value my services." It didn't take a genius to see this one coming, did it?
FC Dallas 2, Real Salt Lake 2 -- "It was unlucky," said Real goalkeeper Nick Rimando after his howler gifted Dallas an undeserved draw and caused almost as much drama in Utah since Bill Paxton and Jeanne Tripplehorn arrived.
Chivas USA 2, Toronto FC 0 -- "We should have ended up winning. We had five chances to put it in the back of the net. There's five goals and it's 5-0 at halftime," said Toronto FC defender Jim Brennan, struggling hard not to strain his back while tossing Edson Buddle and Alecko Eskandarian under the bus.
Rapids 2, DC United 1 -- "The field's enormous," said Rapids midfielder Herculez Gomez, once and for all putting to rest the debate over whether or not Size Matters at Dick's Park in Colorado. "We kept moving around, we had players in the midfield, we got players in the back, spray the ball around wide, go through the middle. So it's definitely to our advantage."
Galaxy 0, Dynamo 0 -- "Once I see Dwayne De Rosario and those guys on the other side my blood boils," said LA's Peter Vagenas, debunking the Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Theory.
"At this point, there is no interest or intention from KSE in buying any shares or any pieces of Arsenal Football Club or any club in the English Premier League," -- Jurgen Mainka, Official Mouthpiece, Colorado Rapids, denying reports KSE would purchase ITV's 9.9 percent stake in Arsenal, exactly ten days before KSE did indeed buy the British Broadcaster's shares in the Gooners. Evidently, Mainka's initial statement, the emphatic denial, is no longer operative.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
"A Short Saying Oft Contains Much Wisdom" Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)
"That's our reward, to play at the highest elevation in Mexico." -- Dominic Kinnear, Houston Dynamo Coach/Avid Mountain Climber, relishing his upcoming trip to Pachuca's Estadio Hidalgo, which sits a mere 7,960 feet above sea level.
"Now we know how they play; they're a dangerous team. But I think in Pachuca we can make things right." -- Enrique Meza, Pachuca Coach/Tactical Genius, belatedly realizing the MLS Champs were a dangerous team.
"Things were a little chippy." -- Ben Olsen, DC United Midfielder/Provocateur describing the action at RFK Thursday night against Chivas Guadalajara.
"EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!!!!!!" -- Entire, Enraged Chivas Squad, expressing their displeasure with Bearded Ben after the match.
"I don't go a day or two without talking to Freddy (Adu), Danny (Szetela) or Timmy Ward. We all know it's going to be a challenge." -- Michael Bradley, US U-20 Midfielder, demonstrating team spirit and maturity when discussing this summer's U-20 World Cup Finals.
"It would be an honor to work in a club like Real Madrid." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea Manager, demonstrating appalling disloyalty and puerile narcissism when discussing this summer's The Apprentice: Bernabéu debacle. Red Bull Rising Reminder: Fredo's goin' fishin'.
"We want to help MLS increase the interest in soccer overall because if the interest in soccer increases, then interest in leagues like the Bundesliga increases." -- Christian Seifert, Bundesliga CEO, efficiently gets to the bottom line of the MLS-Bundesliga partnership.
"Franz is the one who has brought us together and had this overall concept," -- Ivan Gazidis, MLS Deputy Commish, painfully name-drops Der Kaiser at the Miami Beach press conference.
Speaking of beaches (see how I did that?):
"We can give them a beach-head in the United States." -- Jeff Plush, Colorado Rapids Managing Director, on what Arsenal gains from the historic Gooner-Rapids partnership.
"This injury isn't down to my age. It's the number of games played that causes injury. Look at (Franck) Ribery, (Claude) Makelele, (William) Gallas, (Patrick) Viera, they are all injured. Even Ronaldinho is 'dead'. Same for Deco. Or (Steven) Gerrard. This is not the great, the real Gerrard (this season). The players doing well now are those who played less last season." -- Thierry Henry, Exhausted Gunner, more concerned with the ridiculous fixture overload damaging the world's best players than the heretofore mystical, hidden beaches of Commerce City, Colorado.
"New players are not expected to be shrinking violets, but neither are they supposed to throw themselves around like big-time Charlies." -- Unnamed Source, England National Team, throwing recently arrested Citeh midfielder Joey Barton under a double-decker bus.
"Managers may hate penalty shoot-outs but fans love them." -- Brian Mawhinney, Chairman English Football League, considering replacing draws with penalty kicks or shootouts a la the current NHL and former NASL.
"I would walk back from the United States to play for England again." -- David Beckham, Needs No Modifier, confirming he can indeed walk on water.
"I just hope he buys dinner a few times." -- Chris Albright, Future Becks Teammate, attempting to lower the expectations just a bit.
And in celebration of St. Paddy's Day, this old chestnut from the Greatest Oirish Soccer Player Ever:
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." -- Georgey Best
"Now we know how they play; they're a dangerous team. But I think in Pachuca we can make things right." -- Enrique Meza, Pachuca Coach/Tactical Genius, belatedly realizing the MLS Champs were a dangerous team.
"Things were a little chippy." -- Ben Olsen, DC United Midfielder/Provocateur describing the action at RFK Thursday night against Chivas Guadalajara.
"EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!!!!!!" -- Entire, Enraged Chivas Squad, expressing their displeasure with Bearded Ben after the match.
"I don't go a day or two without talking to Freddy (Adu), Danny (Szetela) or Timmy Ward. We all know it's going to be a challenge." -- Michael Bradley, US U-20 Midfielder, demonstrating team spirit and maturity when discussing this summer's U-20 World Cup Finals.
"It would be an honor to work in a club like Real Madrid." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea Manager, demonstrating appalling disloyalty and puerile narcissism when discussing this summer's The Apprentice: Bernabéu debacle. Red Bull Rising Reminder: Fredo's goin' fishin'.
"We want to help MLS increase the interest in soccer overall because if the interest in soccer increases, then interest in leagues like the Bundesliga increases." -- Christian Seifert, Bundesliga CEO, efficiently gets to the bottom line of the MLS-Bundesliga partnership.
"Franz is the one who has brought us together and had this overall concept," -- Ivan Gazidis, MLS Deputy Commish, painfully name-drops Der Kaiser at the Miami Beach press conference.
Speaking of beaches (see how I did that?):
"We can give them a beach-head in the United States." -- Jeff Plush, Colorado Rapids Managing Director, on what Arsenal gains from the historic Gooner-Rapids partnership.
"This injury isn't down to my age. It's the number of games played that causes injury. Look at (Franck) Ribery, (Claude) Makelele, (William) Gallas, (Patrick) Viera, they are all injured. Even Ronaldinho is 'dead'. Same for Deco. Or (Steven) Gerrard. This is not the great, the real Gerrard (this season). The players doing well now are those who played less last season." -- Thierry Henry, Exhausted Gunner, more concerned with the ridiculous fixture overload damaging the world's best players than the heretofore mystical, hidden beaches of Commerce City, Colorado.
"New players are not expected to be shrinking violets, but neither are they supposed to throw themselves around like big-time Charlies." -- Unnamed Source, England National Team, throwing recently arrested Citeh midfielder Joey Barton under a double-decker bus.
"Managers may hate penalty shoot-outs but fans love them." -- Brian Mawhinney, Chairman English Football League, considering replacing draws with penalty kicks or shootouts a la the current NHL and former NASL.
"I would walk back from the United States to play for England again." -- David Beckham, Needs No Modifier, confirming he can indeed walk on water.
"I just hope he buys dinner a few times." -- Chris Albright, Future Becks Teammate, attempting to lower the expectations just a bit.
And in celebration of St. Paddy's Day, this old chestnut from the Greatest Oirish Soccer Player Ever:
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." -- Georgey Best
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 3
The Red Bull kicked off the Californication portion of their preseason with a nil-nil draw against the Beckhamless Los Angeles Galaxy. Claudio Reyna and Ronald Waterreus were spared any exertions after the cross-country flight, with Dema Kovalenko serving as captain.
Newbies Sinisa Ubiparapovic (man, if this guy makes the team I need to set up a quick key), Dane Richards, Ansu Toure and Hugh MacDonald all got a run out after "making the trip." The rest of the Golden State schedule is as follows: Houston Dynamo today, University of California on Friday, March 9 and CD Chivas USA on Wednesday March 14.
MacDonald, like Red Bull assistant coach John Harkes and former MetroStars Tony Meola and Tab Ramos, hails from Kearny, New Jersey and may land a developmental contract, according to the MetroFanatic. While we're tossing out "mays," Big Apple Soccer says Gio Savarese and the Red Bull may have severed their relationship.
The big news out of LA is the medical condition of the professional athlete who just signed a multi-million dollar contract with a franchise that claims to be from Los Angeles but really isn't. But enough about chemically-enhanced, cheating Angels. Let's discuss David Beckham. After suffering ligament damage to his right knee in Sunday's Real Madrid match, Becks will be on the shelf for about a month or so. The resulting hand-wringing and castigation, while entertainingly melodramatic, is more than a bit overwrought. Now that Golden Balls won't be battling through the next round of the Champions League with the Galacticos or desperately fighting his way into Three Lions contention, there's a much better chance that he will be healthy, rested and good to go for the Galaxy by July.
"A short saying oft contains much wisdom" -- Sophocles
"They were getting their diapers changed, I think." -- Mo Johnston, Toronto FC, after two of his young players were late for training.
"On the one hand we want to anchor Barca in the colleges and on the other form a partnership with a Major League club, maybe even in an official way with the Barca brand." -- Joan Laporta, Barcelona, winking madly in the direction of MLS while trying to maintain a modicum of decency.
"If the club decides to sack me because of bad results that is part of the game. If that happens I will be a millionaire and I will get another club a couple of months later." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea, tossing decency, class and humility out the window while giving the finger to Russian oil billionaire Roman Abramovich.
"I will never work for Sigi again. I will never play for him, never join his coaching staff." -- Jon Busch, former Columbus Crew goalkeeper, taking the subtle approach regarding his future job prospects with Sigi Schmid.
"He's an easy target. He has a big head, wears tight shorts and wraps his wrists." -- Jimmy Conrad, Kansas City Wizards, explaining why he picks on fellow US National Team member Taylor Twellman.
Newbies Sinisa Ubiparapovic (man, if this guy makes the team I need to set up a quick key), Dane Richards, Ansu Toure and Hugh MacDonald all got a run out after "making the trip." The rest of the Golden State schedule is as follows: Houston Dynamo today, University of California on Friday, March 9 and CD Chivas USA on Wednesday March 14.
MacDonald, like Red Bull assistant coach John Harkes and former MetroStars Tony Meola and Tab Ramos, hails from Kearny, New Jersey and may land a developmental contract, according to the MetroFanatic. While we're tossing out "mays," Big Apple Soccer says Gio Savarese and the Red Bull may have severed their relationship.
"They were getting their diapers changed, I think." -- Mo Johnston, Toronto FC, after two of his young players were late for training.
"On the one hand we want to anchor Barca in the colleges and on the other form a partnership with a Major League club, maybe even in an official way with the Barca brand." -- Joan Laporta, Barcelona, winking madly in the direction of MLS while trying to maintain a modicum of decency.
"If the club decides to sack me because of bad results that is part of the game. If that happens I will be a millionaire and I will get another club a couple of months later." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea, tossing decency, class and humility out the window while giving the finger to Russian oil billionaire Roman Abramovich.
"I will never work for Sigi again. I will never play for him, never join his coaching staff." -- Jon Busch, former Columbus Crew goalkeeper, taking the subtle approach regarding his future job prospects with Sigi Schmid.
"He's an easy target. He has a big head, wears tight shorts and wraps his wrists." -- Jimmy Conrad, Kansas City Wizards, explaining why he picks on fellow US National Team member Taylor Twellman.
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