Red Bull Rising

Newest Red Bull Survived Baptism By Fire

2008-01-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull Park saga has generated lots of heat, and more than a little heartburn, but according to the San Diego Union-Tribune help is on the way. Erik Stover, the 35-year-old manager of Qualcomm Stadium, who recently distinguished himself by "converting the facility to an evacuation center during October's wildfires," has reportedly accepted a position as "vice president of operations and general manager at Red Bull Park in Harrison, N.J."

Here's the full story, but any guy who chipped in during the chaos of the Southern California wildfires by "trying to track down DVDs to play on the Jumbotron for the kids," is alright by us. As long as his former tenure as assistant VP of Ops at Giants Stadium didn't include any of this nonsense. We want Red Bull Park to be loud and enthusiastic, not crude and misogynistic.

In other news, Red Bull Sporting Director Jeff Agoos has come up with a plan for the upcoming MLS Draft that includes finding players who are "driven," "professional," "innovative," "humble," "self-confident," and "decisive." Goose would also like "people who understand what the vision is, who want to be winners and are good people." Alrighty then. We'd settle for someone who can play the ball into space for Juan Pablo Angel and/or Jozy Altidore, but that's just us.

Also, over the holidays it was announced that Claudio Reyna is staying and John Harkes is leaving, which is a bit of a bummer since Claudio made about $1.25 million more than Johnny and they scored the same number of goals: zero. More recently, Jon Conway re-signed with the Red Bull, which is good news, so long as he doesn't reprise his hilarious role as Tim Conway next season. Oh, and those three staying, leaving, re-signing links are courtesy of the brand-spankin' new Soccer By Ives, the must-see website for American soccer fans. Don't forget to tip your waitress (YouTube).

"Proper Words in Proper PlacesAre the True Definiton of Style"Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

2007-12-26T16:27:00.000-05:00

"The reality of MLS budgets is that teams don't have the money to go out and become Chelsea or Arsenal." -- MLS Deputy Commissioner Ivan Gazidis attempting to obliterate the Stating the Obvious Barrier in an otherwise interesting breakdown of the new Major League Soccer rules.

"If it's a jump ball, we're the fourth-largest market and they're not." -- Sons of Ben advocate Carl Cherkin mixing his sports metaphors in an otherwise intelligent analysis of the Philly vs. St. Louis MLS Expansion Franchise Steel Cage Match Extravaganza.

"Some mistakes I feel like I made as a 15, 16-year-old obviously I wouldn't repeat now, because I learned a lot from it and it helped make me a better person." -- Maturing Freddy Adu getting all philosophical and stuff in an otherwise straightforward feature on the former MLS, current Benfica prodigy.

"We are investigating as to whether the policeman was justified in taking out his firearm and discharging it, and also why he had it with him during the match." -- Malaysian official employing dry government-speak in an otherwise extraordinary report regarding a soccer referee packing heat and making like Yosemite Sam in a recent game gone bad.

Red Bull Rising Quotes Archive

Our Gift to You: Red Bull Park Porn

2007-12-21T12:56:00.000-05:00

By now, you've already seen the official, updated design release for Red Bull Park. In fact, you've probably already stumbled upon the website with the three rotating photos of what we hope the future MLS Cathedral in lovely Harrison, New Jersey will look like.

In the spirit of the season, we here at Red Bull Rising are posting seven additional, possibly illicit, but certainly tasteful, snapshots of the future Red Bull Park, inspired by LA-based Rossetti Architects, the outfit currently tasked with ... er ... erecting ... our fabulous new Beautiful Game Basilica along the banks of the pristine Passaic River.

It's Like Rio Carnival, Only in Hudson County!

Check Out That Box!

You Come Here Often?

GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAL!

Even The Signs Are Cutting Edge!

You Don't Own Red Bull, You Only Rent It

Dude, I'm SO THERE!

UPDATE: Billy Buzzkill in Comments notes the photos are not brand new. Oh, and another thing, Angelina Jolie's smokin' hot bod in Beowulf is computer-generated, and since we're all about balance and fairness and inclusion here at Red Bull Rising, Becks stuffs with socks.

The Twelve Days of Red Bull Christmas

2007-12-18T15:24:00.000-05:00

On the first day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
A suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the second day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the third day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
The Cletus Returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Juan Pablo A-Scoring,
The Cletus Returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Beautiful dreaming,
Juan Pablo A-Scoring,
The Cletus Returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
More First-round losing,
Beautiful dreaming,
Juan Pablo A-Scoring,
The Cletus Returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Bruce goes a-leaving,
More First-round losing,
Beautiful dreaming,
Juan Pablo A-Scoring,
The Cletus Returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
Empty Suit keeps a-spinning
Bruce goes a-leaving,
More First-round losing,
Beautiful dreaming,
Juan Pablo A-Scoring,
The Cletus Returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium Plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
The Red Bull sent to me
O-Sor-Io signing,
Empty Suit keeps a-spinning,
Bruce goes a-leaving,
More First-round losing,
Beautiful dreaming,
Juan Pablo a-scoring,
The Cletus returning,
Clau-Di-O Stinks,
First round exit,
Stadium plans,
Bruce Almighty,
And a suit named Marc de Grandpre.

Red Bull Make Point Heading Into Playoffs

2007-10-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull had nothing to gain on Thursday night in the City of Angels. With the New England Revolution already booked as the first-round MLS Playoffs opponent, the game against the Galaxy, while admittedly interesting, meant very little to Bruce Arena's Gang. Regardless, there were several positives and a couple of negatives resulting from the 1-1 draw at the Home Depot Center.

POSITIVES:

Jozy Altidore, playing out of position on the wing, had a very strong game, including a poacher's delight open headball goal off The Big Easy, Dave van den Bergh's terrific cross, and appeared 100-percent healthy. A fit Jozy paired with Juan Pablo Angel will be real trouble for the Revolution next week.

Dane Richards also had a fine game, continuing his late-season push for rookie of the year, which sadly, will probably be in vain due to Toronto FC's Maurice Edu's strong debut for the US National Team on Wednesday in Switzerland. Voters will likely flock to Edu's cause after he helped Team USA to a rare victory on European soil.

Chris Leitch looked shaky again. Nope this is not a typo or editing error, we did not mean to place this point in the NEGATIVE category. This is a good thing, because Arena would have to be nuts to pencil this guy into the lineup on Oct. 27 after another sub-par outing.

Despite the absence of Francis "Grandpa" Doe, Claudio Reyna and Clint Mathis, the Red Bull were dangerous offensively. Putting aside (for now) grievances against or allegiances to these guys, it's an indication of good team depth that even without them on the field, the Galaxy had difficulty covering their own third of the pitch.

NEGATIVES:

The last thing any squad wants going into the playoffs is a shaky goaltending situation. Landon Donovan's cross was superb and Troy Roberts' header was solid, but Tim Conway's stagefright was the star of the show for the lone Galaxy goal. And the petulant, ill-timed retirement announcement by The Walrus doesn't improve matters.

The Big Easy, Dave van den Bergh, limped off the Home Depot pitch on Thursday, a DoublePlus NotGood for the Red Bull. Defensively DVB has been outstanding, solidfying the left fullback slot with poise and skill. Offensively, The Big Easy's natural tendency to overlap has successfully unbalanced the opposition and could also allow for Grandpa's inclusion into the starting lineup as a pseudo-left winger, but actual freelancing withdrawn forward, thanks to the cover provided by DVB. The Red Bull need The Big Easy against The Revs.

Shalrie "The Behemoth" Joseph and the Revs have patched up their contractual differences, removing a potential off the field distraction that many Red Bull fans (um...including us) had hoped would cut into the focus and commitment of the former St. John's University star's physically dominating game. Now, not so much.

MLSnet.com Strikes Again!

2007-10-19T11:55:00.000-05:00

Don't look now but the Beckham Rules are out of control. Check out the screen grab above. MLS is so hellbent on getting the Los Angeles Galaxy and David Beckham into the playoffs that they've awarded Team Lalas the first ever 1-1 "win" in league history. Readers may recall this isn't the first time The Red Bull have been the unlucky recipients of creative MLSnet.com "reporting" as only the valiant efforts of MetroFanatic prevented the league from excluding the Red Bull from their rightful place among squads who had indeed qualified for the MLS Playoffs. See Race for the MLS Cup Report.

MLS Playoffs: Shoddy, Unprofessional Breakdown

2007-10-17T11:34:00.000-05:00

While shamefully smearing a 12-year-old accident victim, contemplating the latest attempt by The Man to destroy everything cool in the world, we thought, "Who's gonna grab the two remaining Major League Soccer Postseason Tourney slots?" So without creepy Tattoo, here's the Red Bull Rising Race for the MLS Cup Report, Part Trois. All information below is based on official data from the MLSnet.com Playoff Standings page, which isn't always accurate, so just in case, check the MetroFanatic. Let's play!

The Not-So-Fab-Four scrambling for the chance to get hammered by DC United or the winner of Saturday night's delicious Houston Dynamo-Chivas USA tilt, mercifully slated to be broadcast by Fox Soccer Channel, are the Chicago Fire (37 points), the Kansas Wizards (37 points), the Colorado Rapids (35 points) and the Los Angeles Galaxy (33 points, but two matches left). Or as we like to call them, Blanco and the Hunchbacks, Erratic Eddie Johnson and The Wiz, FC Size Matters at Dick's Park and Team Lalas. Excellent, subsidized views of the various permutations can be found here, here and here.

Alternatively, here's our shoddy, unprofessional breakdown, flimsily based on the following criteria: Current form, Opponent, Personal whim, Oddsmakers, Underdog status and Telekinetic powers (cool!). Or The COP-OUT Factor, for short.

Blanco and the Hunchbacks -- The Fire didn't help themselves by scheduling a tough match with Cruz Azul Wednesday, which they lost anyway, leaving just two days recovery time prior to their 0-0 draw at DC United on Saturday. Chicago has only won twice since the start of September, but on the plus side, they've only lost once in MLS play, as they've been kissing their sister like they're the Appalachia Fire (five ties). If Chicago beats the streaking Galaxy Sunday, (Telefutura), they're in, but don't bet on it. COP-OUT Factor: Miss playoffs.

Erratic Eddie Johnson and The Wiz -- Kansas City has won just three MLS matches since the All-Star Break, including a brutal August (1-4) and bad September (1-3-2). Saturday night's loss to the Red Bulls was typically heartbreaking with two gaffes leading directly to Juan Pablo Angel goals and Erratic Eddie Johnson fluffing a PK attempt. FC Dallas doesn't have much to play for this weekend, so chalk that up as a positive for KC, and if you're really desperate for optimism, the Wizards have conjured up a single victory in the past two months, so if that spell holds, they're due for a win this weekend. COP-OUT Factor: Miss playoffs.

FC Size Matters at Dick's Park -- Here's the thing: The Rapids ain't good. We love Pablo Mastroeni, but he's the only guy on the squad above average in any soccer-related category (great tackler). However, here's the good news: The thrilling victory over Chivas on Sunday was the Rapids second straight win and with hated regional rival Real Salt Lake coming to town this weekend, the heralded Rocky Mountain Cup is also on the line, which should have both fans and players pumped up at The Dick. Plus, way back on Sept. 18 Red Bull Rising, based on our highly-scientific, tirelessy researched (for over half-an-hour!) Puppy-to-Giant Ratio, predicted a Colorado postseason berth. COP-OUT Factor: Make playoffs.

Team Lalas -- It's ALIVE! Despite being called a Lame Duck in August, Frank Yallop has went all Dr. Frankenstein on our ass, reanimating the lifeless tissue of the Team Lalas corpse and unleashing on Major League Soccer an ugly, rampaging atrocity that will JUST NOT DIE! But enough about the David Beckham hype. Let's get back to the playoff race. Los Angeles has won five straight and if they beat the Red Bull (already booked for New England) on Thursday they'll host Blanco and the Hunchbacks in a civilization-shattering clash of out-of-control egos, high-stakes confrontations and simmering ethnic tensions. But enough about TeleFutura broadcasting the match live, instead of Fox Soccer Channel or one of the Black Rat outlets. COP-OUT Factor: Make playoffs.

Race for the MLS Cup Report Archive: Part One | Part Deux

Red Bull Attack Sparks Revolution Showdown

2007-10-15T15:54:00.000-05:00

Juan Pablo Angel, Jozy Altidore, Dane Richards and Francis Grandpa Doe all started on Saturday night and produced the desired result: The Red Bull outscored the Kansas City Wizards 2-1. With the victory, The Red Bull put a hex on the Wizards postseason chances, and set the stage for a tantalizing Major League Soccer first-round playoff matchup with the New England Revolution. Get Your Tickets Now!

To his credit, Bruce Arena decorated the FakeTurf at the Meadowlands with his best available offensive players and the aforementioned four didn't disappoint as Angel did what he does, score goals, while Altidore, Richards and Granpda challenged and pestered and threatened the Wizards all night. That's what we're talkin' 'bout.

Angel initiated his first strike with a neat pass to the increasingly effective overlapping Big Easy, Dave van den Bergh, whose cross was handled in the box by ill-fated Wizard fullback Jose Burciaga Jr. Angel promptly buried his fifth PK in as many MLS attempts, hopefully putting to rest the irrelevant, lazy, "He had trouble taking PKs at Villa" talking point trotted out everytime the Classy Colombian approaches the spot before beating the goalkeeper.

Rookie speedster Dane Richards happily accepted Burciaga's second gift of the first half on the right wing and decided to Pay it Forward (Worst Movie Ever Candidate), squaring to Angel at the edge of the box for a sublime outside-of-the-right-foot settle and inside-of-the-same-foot finish past KC's Bad Hairdo Keeper Kevin Hartman. True the Wizards managed a quickfire Jack Jewsbury head-flick tally immediately after the spot kick, but when Grandpa flashed a strong header just inches too high and then clanged one off the crossbar right before intermission it was clear this would be a Red Bull night.

Thankfully, Arena wasn't content with offensive tinkering, recalling Carlos Mendes and Hunter Freeman at the expense of Chris Leitch (with Seth Stammler stepping into the suspended Joe Vide role) and extending a second act to none other than Carol Burnett Show legend Tim Conway, who earned a curtain call with six saves, including a nice PK stoning of Erratic Eddie Johnson. Plus, the addition of the Emmy-Award Winning Funnyman caused the cancellation of The Walrus Comedy Hour, which we can all agree jumped the shark several games ago.

Hopefully, Bruce Almighty will allow this winning lineup to take on the Revs in the 2007 MLS Playoffs (we'd prefer Clint Mathis in front of Dema Kovalenko or a healthy Claudio Reyna in central midfield instead of Stammler or Vide, but we won't quibble ... for now). In fact, injuries aside, Arena should allow this squad the opportunity to face the streaking Galaxy (and Beckham?) on Thursday night.

Red Bull No-Brainer: Beat KC, Bring On Revs!

2007-10-12T14:58:00.000-05:00

The blogosphere is bubbling with Red Bull playoff talk. Big Apple Soccer handicaps the possibilities, including Captain America's first-round California Dreamin'. MetroFanatic, fresh off some fine pro bono work for MLSnet.com, ponders the pitfalls amidst the New England foliage. Channeling Dwight K. Schrute, The Kin of Fish advocates a mercy-killing. How does the Red Bull look, Kin? "Really dead."

Here's an alternative theory: The Red Bull should hammer the Wizards on Saturday, setting up a first-round matchup with the New England Revolution, the path of least resistance to the MLS Cup Final.

How so, you ask? Look here and here. DC United is a better team than New England. True, the Red Bull went 1-2 against DC and 0-2-1 vs. the Revs, but upon closer inspection the Flinty New Englanders are a much preferable opponent for our Heroes of the East Rutherford FakeTurf than the Taxation Without Representation Squad.

Red Bull vs. The Revs: In the first game, back on July 14, both Clint Mathis and Juan Pablo Angel hit the woodwork in a tight 1-nil loss. In the second match, Carol Burnett Show legend Tim Conway played nets for the Red Bull in a hilarious, but largely self-inflicted 2-1 defeat. The final regular season clash, on Sept. 22, was a terrific 2-2 draw which indicated the two clubs were evenly matched.

Red Bull vs. DC United: On June 10, Ben Olsen's Beard was too thick and manly for the Red Bull, who succumbed in a 4-2 drubbing. Right around the All-Star Break, the Red Bull got revenge with a 1-nil victory, but the two squads reverted to form on Aug. 22, as Jaime Moreno became Major League Soccer's leading scorer in a thorough 3-1 win over the Jozy Altidore-less Red Bull.

In summary, who would you rather face, a surging DC United team undefeated in league play since July 22, or a up-and-down New England squad with four MLS losses during the same period? It's a no-brainer for the Red Bull. Beat Kansas City on Saturday night and bring on the Revs.

What's Bruce Arena Smoking?

2007-10-05T17:31:00.000-05:00

OK, you're one game from clinching a playoff spot, playing in a market where the biggest pro sports collapse ever just happened, and you haven't won a match in a month. One positive you've had going for you, however, has been the stellar play of a dynamic newcomer, who has scored a goal in each of your past two games. So, what do you do? Well, if you're Bruce Arena, YOU BENCH HIM!!!!

Consequently, The Red Bull dropped a terrible 2-1 decision to woeful but feisty Toronto FC on Thursday night, squandering another chance to secure a playoff spot and potentially blowing the opportunity to avoid facing DC United in the first round of the MLS postseason, instead of the newly minted US Open Cup Champion, but still, objectively, less formidable, New England Revolution.

Did the exclusion of Francis "Grandpa" Doe from the starting lineup in itself condemn the Red Bull to defeat? Of course not. There were many factors in the loss: Joe Vide caught ball-watching on the first goal and his subsequent ejection, Ronald Wattereus flopping like a fish on Red Bull reject Marvell Wynne's second goal-providing cross, knocked in by an increasingly hapless Chris Leitch (yes, Leitch is indeed without hap). Additionally, at least according to the telecast, the 20,000 frenzied fans at BMO Field didn't hurt the Mo-Jo (see what we did there?) of our Great White North neighbors.

What we're suggesting is that Mr. Bruce Arena is either higher than Fat Rush on Hillbilly Heroin or he's chokin' like a dry drunk on a pretzel. And remember folks, we're not second-guessing here, way back in May we addressed Arena's disturbing propensity for safe (ie. defensive) lineups, when he should actually be embracing the Red Bull Rising If You Play Them, They Will Score Theory, spiritually, if not literally, supported by the great Johan Cruyff.

Here's the deal: With Reyna out (yawn), Arena went defensive against Toronto, playing two defensive midfielders (Vide and Dema Kovalenko) along with his recently favored flatback four (Leitch, Jeff Parke, Seth Stammler and The Big Easy, Dave van den Bergh, a revelation at left back). Rookie Dane Richards (nice goal) and Clint Mathis (okay game) were then tasked with providing all the creative spark behind Jozy Altidore and Juan Pablo Angel, who proved he was human on Thursday by not scoring a goal.

Put aside for a moment that Hope Solo would probably be an upgrade over The Walrus and Tim Conway and that Hunter S. Thompson, nevermind Hunter Freeman, would be preferable to Leitch. If your goal is positive, creative, attractive, winning soccer the midfield should be Dema as your defender/destroyer and The Cletus as your attacker/creator, with speed merchant Richards on the right and Grandpa cutting in from the left (already ably manned by the overlapping Big Easy) and hooking up with Clint behind Jozy and JPA.

The Red Bull can still clinch this weekend if both Columbus and Team Lalas lose (Is David Beckham really back? Stay tuned). But with just two games to play and either DC United or The Revs likely on tap, the time to go into a defensive shell and grind out victories has past. Put the most talented Red Bulls on the pitch and play The Beautiful Game, because Thursday night was Ugly Brucie in Primetime.

Angel Scores, Walrus Flaws, Red Bull Draws

2007-10-02T12:28:00.000-05:00

Juan Pablo Angel scored, Ronald Wattereus left fans muttering, "Where's Tim Conway?" and the Red Bull recorded it's third straight draw on Saturday night, a 2-2 decision which flattered the visitors from Real Salt Lake. Luckily for the Red Bull, serial sister-kissing is not a crime in Major League Soccer, and another terrible loss by the Kansas City Wizards preserved a three-point Red Bull advantage in the MLS Playoff Standings Table.

The match itself was exciting, if not particularly well played. RSL opened the scoring against the run of play when Ronald Wattereus inexplicably chose not to try and stop Chris Brown's downward header off the wretched Meadowlands FakeTurf. Evidently, if an overlapping fullback nods the ball into the ground, The Walrus Rules mandate a strict hands-off policy by the opposing goalkeeper. Who knew?

Grandpa Francis Doe went Old School after the break, employing a killer, Georgey Best-like crossover/far post combo to knot the score, before Kyle Beckerman, a dead-ringer for True Romance villain Drexl Spivey, neatly redirected a Fabian Espindola pass for a 2-1 RSL lead. Despite an uncharacteristically wasteful night, Juan Pablo Angel Just Scores Goals, so the Red Bull blushes were once again spared by the Classy Colombian's no-doubt-about-it PK which finished the match.

There Goes Claudio -- One week after playing his best game ever as a Red Bull, captain Claudio Reyna limped off the field with a reported left toe injury. At this point, who knows when he'll return -- and more importantly, which Reyna will return: The effective, influential player who dominated the tempo against the Revolution last week, or the ... err ... um ... other guy? If it's the former, cool. The latter, let's pull a Beckham and shut it down for the season.

Big Love -- Roman Grant's favorite club has endured quite the season, with poster boy Freddy Adu and designated scapegoat John Ellinger banished from The Compound, and the Real faithful starting anew under the tutelage of Jason Kreis, Superstar! The aforementioned Spivey-lookalike, Esky The Younger and Team Lalas escapee Robbie Findlay are legit American talents. Sprinkle in a few creative, rambunctious Argentines and you have the makings of an interesting squad in the Land of Brigham Young.

Simple Answer to Simple Question -- Last week we wondered how Mexican fans would welcome Chicago Fire talisman, whiner, hunchback Blanco to Los Angeles. Well, according to Martin Rogers "El Cuau," who scored a cracker of a free-kick in a 1-1 draw with Chivas USA, was met by "missiles ... hurled onto the pitch, one of them striking Blanco on the hip." (Hat Tip to du Nord) Alrighty then. Asked and answered. Luis Arroyave's The Red Card has more on the Fire-Chivas USA match.

Mexican Standoff: Chivas USA vs. Blanco

2007-09-26T00:29:00.000-05:00

The Blanco-led Chicago Fire meet Chivas USA in Los Angeles on Saturday, which could be a precursor to a tasty, internationally flavored first-round Major League Soccer playoff matchup. If the season ended today (doncha love that phrase?) Chivas, currently holding first-place in the West, would face Chicago, currently clinging to the eighth and final postseason slot.

The odds of Chivas securing the top spot are good, since the secondary tenant of the Home Depot Center has two points and a game in hand on its nearest rival, Houston. The Fire are in a more precarious situation, just one point up on Columbus (who have a dark promotion on tap) and three points up on Colorado, but the Windy City club are two-points behind the Rapids in the highly-scientific Puppy to Giants Ratio. Additionally, should the Fire and Rapids end in a tie, the first tie-breaker (head-to-head) is a wash, due to a pair of ... guess what? ... regular season draws, and the second tie-breaker favors Colorado with a two-point goal differential edge.

Now that we've dispensed with the various playoff probabilities, let's examine the potential Chivas USA vs. Blanco first-round clash. The question is, who will Mexican fans (both here in the Good Ol' USA and South of the Border) support? Does their loyalty lie with the USA version of The Goats, or with the talismanic, charismatic, hunchbacked striker called Cuauhtemoc Blanco?

This not to suggest that All Mexicans Think Alike. Recent cinematic triumphs alone demonstrate the robust, diverse nature of our Latino Cousins South of the Rio Grande. Seriously, have you seen Pan's Labyrinth, Children of Men or From Dusk Till Dawn? Even the cheating, cheapshot, Mexican National Team, (formerly known as El Tricolor until Hugo Sanchez went clinically insane) while infuriating, are a compelling assortment of contradictions. Whether it's the simmering, regal Jared Borgetti or the flashy, precocious Giovani dos Santos, you gotta love to hate the no-longer Tricolor.

No, what we're getting at is how will the Mexican fans react to a Chivas USA-Blanco elimination battle? Columnist Nick Green has a nice primer on the issue including the Club America and CD Guadalajara rivalry and the participation of not only "El Cuau" but Chivas USA defender Claudio Suarez in a potential Chivas USA-Fire showdown. Unsavory aspects of the attempted relocation of Chivas and Mexican support to Los Angeles in the form of Chivas USA aside, will Blanco be booed at the Home Depot Center or cheered?

This reminds us of a diehard Glasgow Celtic fan, who also passionately supports the US Men's National Team, the squad representing his adopted country. This guy loves DaMarcus Beasley and complained bitterly when Bruce Arena tossed him under the bus in Germany 2006. But now that DaMarcus plays for Rangers, what's he to do? It bears watching how Mexican fans respond if and when Old Country rivalries pop up in Major League Soccer's first-round of the Western Conference playoffs.

And now, from YouTube, our favorite Mexican Standoffs:

True Romance | Reservoir Dogs | Pulp Fiction | Jon Stewart
And the Godfather of Them All: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Juan Pablo Angel Just Scores Goals!

2007-09-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

For 84 minutes on Saturday night Juan Pablo Angel ran down loose balls and errant passes that should've been here not there and endured an inexplicable torrent of abuse from the worst official in Major League Soccer (which is saying quite alot). Most, if not all, players would succumb to the frustration and either go all Blanco and rant and rave until the final whistle or furtively glance over to the bench while massaging a phantom cramp, hoping to get subbed out of the losing match. But not Juan Pablo Angel, ladies and gentleman, because Juan Pablo Angel, let's say it all together, Just Scores Goals!

The Big Easy, Dave van den Bergh, settling in nicely at left back, lofted a high prayer toward the New England Revolution box as the match slipped away, and newcomer Francis Doe (more on him later) nodded the ball into not more than a yard of space. Angel, somehow still laser-focused on the task at hand despite the aformentioned trials and tribulations, took that minute opportunity and pounced, latching onto the ball and then, as always, almost in slow-motion, cooly picked a spot and drilled the ball low and hard into the bottom right corner, past the outstretched arms of Baldy Keeper Matt Reis, securing a 2-2 draw and a big point at the Meadowlands. Because, ladies and gentlemen, Juan Pablo Angel Just Scores Goals!

The Classy Colombian by way of River Plate and Aston Villa has now scored 16 goals in his inaugural MLS campaign, one shy of a new franchise record. And he's done it with underachieving captain Claudio Reyna (more on him later, too) and volatile reclamation project Clint Mathis as his primary playmakers, with raw rookie Dane Richards on the flank and a rotating cast of strike partners (brilliant, but often AWOL, and soon-to-be-gone Jozy Altidore, vet John Wolyniec and now the slippery Liberian by way of the Minnesota Thunder). We're fond of these guys, but let's face it, Angel is not exactly receiving bottle-service here. No matter. Juan Pablo Angel Just Scores Goals!

With Kansas City falling to streaking Chivas USA on Saturday, there's a good chance of a Red Bull-Revolution first round playoff showdown. Check out the MLS Standings. If so, the confidence gained in last night's draw, thanks in large part to the growing legend of one Juan Pablo Angel, may overcome the recent comedy of errors in New England, which would serve the Red Bull well.

A Man Called Grandpa -- According to an impeccable source, du Nord, Francis Doe's nickname is "Grandpa." Sideline Views has more on this front. The view from Section 108 was spot-on for the first Red Bull score, as Dane Richards absolutely schooled Avery John on the right and his cutback pass was expertly first-timed by Grandpa for a thrilling, incisive Red Bull score. Eight-year-old pundit Leo summed up the mercurial Doe thusly: "He's a bit of a greedy pig, but he never stops trying to put the ball in the net. Never." Sounds about right, Leo.

Here Comes Claudio -- Captain America had his finest game as a Red Bull, battling Behemoth Shalrie Joseph all night, dominating the tempo of the match and actually directing the Red Bull attack with terrific, well-timed passes. Worst MLS Ref Ever, Richard Heron, assisted by Kermit the Frog and Sean Better to Be Seen and Not Hurd, whistled offside a perfect trap-beating pass to Grandpa in the second half, but Reyna's contribution cannot be overstated. Yeah, he babied that header instead of drilling it into the net, but Claudio was The Man on Saturday night. Better than Guevara. More of that and the Red Bull will be dangerous in the postseason.

Taylor-Made -- Taylor Twellman had two typically opportunistic goals for the Revs, rising to head home a neat Steve Ralston cross (another assist for the veteran playmaking machine) and forcing Red Bull fullback Chris Leitch (Hunter still in the doghouse or something?) into a mistake and smoking a grassburner (err, FieldTurf burner, sorry) off the far post into the net. Great stuff by Twellman.

Game Reports: MLSnet | Star-Ledger | NY Post | Boston Globe

MLS Playoffs: Eating Puppies and Sleeping Giants

2007-09-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

While committing armed robbery (or searching for the real killers) at a Las Vegas Hotel, mystified by the current state of pop culture, we thought, "Who's gonna make the Major League Soccer Postseason Tourney?" So, without hapless Apu, here's the Red Bull Rising Race for the MLS Cup Report, Part Deux. All information below is based on official data from the MLSnet.com Playoff Standings page, gleefully sans the red-fonted advisory: The seeding procedure described above is correct. Spin that wheel!

DC United (49 points), Houston Dynamo (45) and the New England Revolution (45) have clinched postseason berths and are now presumably concentrating on winning their respective conferences and earning higher seeds for the MLS playoffs. Surging Chivas USA is just off the pace with 44 points, and with two games in hand may yet nip Houston for the top spot in the West, with postseason qualification all but guaranteed.

That leaves four remaining playoff slots, with FC Dallas (39 points, 24 games played), Red Bull New York (37, 25) and the Kansas City Wizards (36, 25) the frontrunners for three positions and a potentially juicy three-way confrontation between the Chicago Fire (30 points, 24 games played), Colorado Rapids (29, 25) and the Columbus Crew (28, 25) for the final postseason spot for MLS 2007.

What separates Chicago, Colorado and Columbus (other than a woefully underfinanced, crumbling infrastructure) you may ask? Besides the various on-field talents and clipboard gurus, the defining factor in this contest of relative mediocrity is the Puppy-to-Giant Ratio, as applied to game schedules. The squad that manages to Feast on More Puppies and Avoid (Or Defeat) More Sleeping Giants will enter the MLS 2007 Postseason Extravaganza.

CHICAGO (30 points) -- Boasting the best current form of the Trembling Trio, the Fire also have a game in hand. The problem for Fire fans is the schedule is not kind to the Windy City Whiners (see Blanco, Wanchope). Chicago has only one measly Puppy (LA Galaxy) in their final six matches, with five Sleeping Giants (East-leading DC United twice, and once each against New England, Chivas and FC Dallas). The Fire have also sandwiched in a friendly against Cruz Azul, a match you'd think would require the participation of Blanco, who was visibly huffing-and-puffing at the close of the Red Bull match on Saturday night. Puppy-Giant Ratio: (-4). Not good.

COLORADO (29 points) -- Not all Puppies are created equal, but even though Real Salt Lake is a bitter Rocky Mountain Rival to the Rapids of Coorsville, the Jason Kreis Gang, even baring teeth are still Puppies. Colorado faces RSL twice, in addition to absolutely toothless Puppy Toronto FC once. Sleeping Giants Chivas and the Revs round out the sked. Puppy-Giant Ratio: (+1). Mmmm. Mmmm. Good.

COLUMBUS (28 points) -- The Crew, coming off a devastating loss to Kansas City on Saturday night, could get well right quick with a pair of adorable Puppies just waiting for them in the next two weeks (TFC on 9/22 and The Alexi Lalas Project on 9/30). Six Possible Puppy Points in hand, Columbus ends its season with three-straight Sleeping Giants, FC Dallas at home and road matches at New England and DC United. Puppy-Giant Ratio: (-1). Could be worse.

So, based on our highly-scientific, tirelessly researched (for over half-an-hour!) Puppy-to-Giant Ratio, while most may think the admittedly better Chicago Fire will secure the final Major League Soccer playoff invitation, don't be surprised if the Colorado Rapids fatten up on some tasty Puppies and earn a spot at the Big Table.

Click here for Part One of the Red Bull Rising Race for the MLS Cup Report

Road Warriors: Red Bull Pick Up Point in Chicago

2007-09-16T10:23:00.000-05:00

The last time the Red Bull earned a road point, the Beckham-less Galaxy still had green in their kit, Senator Larry Craig was a happily married heterosexual and the Notre Dame faithful were looking forward to football season. In other words, it was a long time ago.

But the Red Bull turned back time last night, picking up a big point in a 2-2 draw with the chippy, Blanco-led Fire before over 20,000 boisterous fans at Toyota Park. Newly-appointed left fullback, Dave van den Bergh (The Big Easy) opened the scoring for the Red Bull and Juan Pablo Angel (he just scores goals!) converted a PK, while the aforementioned cranky, bitch-to-the-ref-aholic Mexican also buried a spot kick, in addition to serving up the assist on the game-tying header from Gonzalo Segares. The road point, the first since back on July 8 at Colorado, was big for the Red Bull. The point garnered by the Fire was even bigger, as the Chicago club battles it out with Columbus (terrible loss to KC last night) and the Rapids for a playoff slot.

Anelka, Torres, Lampard and Dempsey?

2007-09-15T12:26:00.000-05:00

Don't look now, but American Clint Dempsey may be the hottest striker on the planet. Fresh off a nice goal against Best Team in the World Ever Brazil and recognition as Fulham's Player of the Month, Dempsey knocked in another goal for the Cottagers, helping the London club to a 1-1 draw with Wigan. Dempsey trails only The Big Sulk, Nicolas Anelka, in the English Premier League Goal Scoring Race (wait, it'll eventually update) and is currently tied with Spanish stud Fernando Torres and Chelski's Fat Frank Lampard with three goals. UPDATE: Hat Tip to Football is for the Madman for digging up the Dempsey goal video right quick. Madman also has the hot-off-the-presses video of DaMarcus Beasley's neat finish for Rangers today.

Back to the Future: Guevara or Reyna?

2007-09-14T17:47:00.000-05:00

As the Anti-Claudio Reyna Bandwagon picks up speed and the Amado Guevara Rehabilitation Project garners publicity, let us pose a question: Who would you rather have on the Red Bull roster for the start of the 2008 season, Guevara or Reyna?

Soccer By Ives bravely marched into the ReynaRage Arena here and again here, making several good points, as usual, but this particular query avoids the moot point of whether or not Claudio should have ever been signed (he was, get over it), and instead addresses the future of the franchise.

The Case for Claudio -- Unlike Amado, Reyna doesn't burn bridges, hasn't been unceremoniously kicked off a team or disrespected his teammates and the game by petulantly sitting in the stands after getting benched. On the field, Claudio is a defensive, holding midfielder who doesn't panic, controls the tempo of the match and provides easy passing outlets for an increasingly erratic defensive corps. As much as we admire Joe Vide's infectious enthusiasm and Seth Stammler's hearty grit, Reyna provides a crucial, if unglamorous and terribly overpaid, function for the Red Bull. On a lesser note, Claudio is also the designated lightning rod for the club. If he leaves (Chicago?) or retires (LBI?) Juan Pablo Angel or Bruce Arena better get ready for the shock of their lives.

The Case for Amado -- Unlike Reyna, Guevara isn't injury prone and actually enjoys moving the ball forward into scoring positions. With Jozy Altidore headed for Europe and Clint Mathis not getting any younger, Angel will need more than speedy, but raw, Dane Richards and the Big Easy, Dave van den Bergh supplying him the ball. Amado has a deft touch, great vision and healthy, playmaking arrogance which could feed the goal-hungry Colombian striker just what he needs. On a lesser note, after being humbled by Preki and a humiliating tour of the Hondoran League, maybe Guevara will be properly committed and motivated to resurrecting his once promising MLS career. Arena also seems open to the idea, which can't hurt.

What do you think? Leave a comment.

All Losses Equal, Some More Equal Than Others

2007-09-11T12:04:00.000-05:00

The US Men's National Team dropped a 4-2 decision to World Power Brazil on Sunday which wasn't bad. Later the same day, the Red Bull were routed 3-nil by Chivas USA which was bad. Very bad.

Clint Dempsey, Bob Bradley and Company played their hearts out against superior opponents, made big plays and gained valuable experience. Claudio Reyna, Bruce Arena and the Gang rolled over against superior opponents, made horrible plays and lost whatever momentum gained in the now long-forgotten win over Chicago.

So, The Nats can now build on Sunday's performance, traveling to South Africa and later Europe in further international friendly competition. The Red Bull, however, need to find the spine so lacking in L.A. before facing the resurgent Fire in Chicago on Saturday.

With Friendlies Like These, Who Needs Enemas?

2007-09-05T12:49:00.000-05:00

Perhaps the term "scared shitless" is too harsh, but how would you feel lugging a four-game losing streak into a friendly with Brazil? Picture yourself as newbie U.S. National Team Coach Bob Bradley, Gold Cup victory over CONCACAF nemesis Mexico inexplicably buried in favor of Copa America B-Team chatter, and your boss, Sunil Gulati, invites you to lunch and sitting there at the table is none other than the latest Free Agent European Soccer Genius Fabio Capello. Howya feelin' now? Ready for Ronaldinho, Kaka and Robinho in Chicago?

Red Bull Bounce Back, Blank Blanco

2007-09-02T09:49:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull bounced back from a disastrous two-game stretch on Saturday night, grinding out a crucial 1-nil victory over Eastern Conference rival Chicago Fire at the Meadowlands.

With Jozy Altidore sidelined due to injury (according to the Red Bull, anyway), John Wolyniec joined Juan Pablo Angel up top, while newbies Paulo Wanchope and Cuauhtemoc Blanco led the Fire line, which basically summed up the difference between the two squads on the night. Angel and Wolyniec were patient and workmanlike, with Woly particularly effective at enduring rough treatment by Chris Brown and an appalling lack of protection from a typically terrible officiating crew. Blanco and Wanchope, on the other hand, spent more energy gesticulating wildly at the ref and linesman than playing soccer, which worked out quite well for the Red Bull.

Angel channeled his frustration at a lack of chances on the evening by cooly converting the one good opportunity that came his way -- courtesy of a Dane Richards feed -- and secured not only the victory, but three big points on a night which saw Kansas City drop two points in a 1-1 draw with Houston.

Three players who had failed to impress of late -- Claudio Reyna, Ronald Wattereus and Dave Van den Bergh -- had good games. Not great, but good. Reyna didn't lose possession once, and although he continued his season-long habit of playing it safe, rather than move the ball up the field, he did manage the game well and kept the Red Bull in fine defensive shape. We'll take it. Van den Bergh, to his credit, played left fullback and didn't let anyone get behind him to score or create a goal. Job done. Wattereus, inserted into the lineup with Tim Conway working a two-gig stint in the Catskills, wasn't tested much, but distributed the ball well and, let's face it, he didn't let in an own goal. Mission accomplished.

Wattereus also provided a bit of comedy. During one of Blanco's temper tantrums, The Walrus, in the act of punting a ball up field, paused for a few seconds to rub the top of the fiery Mexican's head, kinda like Mom's new boyfriend Clark attempting to win over young Timmy. Blanco's slightly bemused, grudgingly admiring reaction was worth the price of admission.

Pachuca Take Big Bucks, Knock Out Becks

2007-08-30T08:54:00.000-05:00

Mexican club CF Pachuca burnished its Best Soccer Squad in North America credentials and picked up a cool million dollars on Wednesday night, defeating the LA Galaxy 2-1 in penalty kicks at the Home Depot Center in Los Angeles, winning the inaugural SuperLiga Gran Final. Oh, and 32-year-old, playing-on-a-bad-ankle (sometimes on turf) David Beckham shockingly went down injured after playing in only his sixth game in 18 days. What a wimp.

No stranger to ripping the heart out of Major League Soccer opponents, Pachuca did it again last night, taking a 1-nil lead via neat Christian Gimenez-Cacho interplay and a clumsy own-goal (no, not THAT ONE) from LA's Peter Vagenas. The Galaxy tied the game up late via a spectacular, improbable bicycle kick by Chris Klein, cavalierly dismissed as a "slow-footed, defensive graybeard" by Red Bull Rising just three days ago. Bicycle, Schmicycle, we'd still take Robbie Findlay!

Landon Donovan missed a wide-open header inside 10 minutes, perfectly placed onto his male-pattern baldness noggin by Becks, did well to force a great save from idiot Pachuca goalkeeper Miguel Calero late, and had his ill-placed (go either high or low, not middle, LandyCakes) game-winning PK attempt stopped by the aforementioned, finger-waving, hat-wearing Prima Donna in Net.

Abel Xavier (just the type of old, flashy, big-reputation but small-game player Jurgen Klinsmann jettisoned for younger, hungrier lads prior to World Cup 2006, by the way) should be expecting a complaint from PETA, as his penalty kick killed a hapless pigeon circling the Home Depot Center in pursuit of stray postgame nachos.

Here's a quick roundup of links:
Sports Illustrated | TimesOnline UK | Soccernet | La Opinion

MLS: Lame Ducks, Bubble Boys & The Fab Five

2007-08-28T11:34:00.000-05:00

While adopting a wide stance in an airport bathroom stall, perusing the latest ground-breaking news, we thought, "Who's gonna make the Major League Soccer Postseason Tourney?" So, without Freddy Adu, here's the Red Bull Rising Race for the MLS Cup Report. All information below is based on official data from the MLSnet.com Standings page, featuring this important advisory, in fancy red font: The seeding procedure described above is correct. Alrighty then, let's get to it.

THE FAB FIVE -- The Fab Five are clubs who, barring a complete collapse, will make the playoffs and are now concentrating on finishing first in their respective conferences. The New England Revolution (42 points, 23 games played) and DC United (39 points, 21 GP) are firmly in control of the top two slots in the Eastern Conference, while the Houston Dynamo (38, 23), Chivas USA (36, 20) and FC Dallas (36, 21) are battling it out for the top two seeds in the West. With three games in-hand on Houston, and with seven of their 10 remaining matches at the Home Depot Center, where they haven't lost in eight league matches, streaking Chivas figures to hold off FC Dallas for the second spot, if not overtake the Dynamo at No. 1. Either way, the loser of the Houston-Chivas-Dallas showdown will still secure one of the four remaining at-large slots.

THE BUBBLE BOYS -- The Bubble Boys are clubs with a chance to qualify for the playoffs, despite little hope of earning one of the top two seeds in their respective conferences. The Red Bull (33 points, 22 games played), the Kansas City Wizards (32, 22), the Columbus Crew (27, 22) and the Blanco-fueled Chicago Fire (26, 21) are still alive in the East, with the Colorado Rapids (27, 22) the lone squad still harboring postseason dreams in the West. Maddening inconsistency permeates each of these teams, most likely resulting in a mad, mad, mad scramble for playoff qualification well into October. The Joy of Six: Six crucial head-to-head matches are Fire vs. Red Bull (Sept. 1 and Sept. 15), Rapids at Crew (Sept. 2), Fire at Crew (Sept. 8), Crew at Wizards (Sept. 15) and Wizards at Red Bull (Oct. 13).

THE LAME DUCKS -- The Lame Ducks are clubs with no realistic shot at the playoffs, and if Red Bull Rising had our way, would be facing relegation to the USL. The two newbies, Toronto FC (20 points, 22 games played) and Real Salt Lake (12, 19) were expected down in the basement, but the Alexi Lalas Refugees (14, 18), brought to you by AEG, are unanticipated guests. Look for Jurgen Klinsmann, David Beckham and Landon Donovan to resume their rightful place in the Penthouse Suite in 2008.

Will Klinsmann Clean Up Lalas Mess in LA?

2007-08-27T14:19:00.000-05:00

The Frank Yallop AEG Gold Watch Ceremony is about to take center stage as the latest act in the David Beckham Traveling Circus of Major League Soccer. The intrepid Ives Galarcep follows the bouncing ball stateside, while TimesOnline UK provides the Continental angle, the Cirque du Soleil if you will, regarding the ascension of Jurgen Klinsmann as new Ringmaster for the Los Angeles Galaxy.

By all accounts, Yallop is a nice guy thrust into an almost impossible situation as Designated Lalas Fall Guy (see Bradley, Bob). But his comments after the disastrous three-game period which began
so audaciously with three Beckham-inspired goals before 65,000 fans at the Meadowlands and ended so ignobly with a 3-nil debacle at
The Dick, speak volumes:

From Times Online UK:

"It’s not been easy because of the spotlight thrust on us,” [said] Yallop. "You try to imagine the hysteria surrounding his [Beckham's] arrival but when he’s here it’s so different. It’s not been easy. It’s been kind of testing, to be honest."

And following Beckham's 90-minutes vs. Chivas, one day after England-Germany at Wembley:

"I used him tonight and I shouldn’t have done that," Yallop said after the defeat.

There you have it. Yallop is resigned to his fate. It was Lalas who traded speedy, dynamic youngster Robbie Findlay for slow-footed, defensive graybeard Chris Klein. It was Lalas who chose Carlos Pavon, Alan Gordon and Edson Buddle as the Galaxy strikeforce. Yet Yallop will be shown the door, with Lalas tightly clutching the keys.

Klinsmann, however, is no Frank Yallop. The Becks "hysteria" lamented by Yallop pales in comparison to the fiery cauldron of heat braved by Klinsi during World Cup 2006, where the son of a baker stood up to Der Kaiser and the German Press, and selected and guided a squad which overachieved beyond any reasonable expectations.

A resident of Orange County, Klinsmann may be just the bright ray of sunshine needed in L.A., but the tough-talking Lalas may want to consult with Sunil Gulati regarding Klinsi. Should the Golden Bomber accept the immense challenge of cleaning up the Lalas Mess in Los Angeles, he may prefer to go it alone.

Tim Conway Joins Red Bull, Hilarity Ensues

2007-08-26T01:10:00.000-05:00

A funny thing happened on the way to New England on Saturday. Keeper Ronald Wattereus missed another game, and his replacement was none other than Carol Burnett Show legend Tim Conway. Harvey Korman's favorite dentist didn't disappoint either, as his howler had them laughing in the aisles, in addition to gifting the Revolution
a 2-1 victory over the increasingly ludicrous Red Bull.

Considering the ridiculous display at DC on Wednesday (featuring the absurd omission of Jozy Altidore from the starting lineup and Keystone Kops defending), perhaps Carlos Mencia will supplant Mendes in the ever-changing Back Four and Dane Cook will swap places with Dane Richards on the wing for a Red Bull Comic Trifecta next Saturday against the Chicago Fire. Get your tickets now!

LA Beckhams vs. Red Bull: WOW!

2007-08-22T15:41:00.000-05:00

Having just regained consciousness, here's a few quick notes and postgame links from the thrilling 5-4 Red Bull victory over the L.A. Galaxy before over 65,000 screaming fans at the Meadowlands on Saturday night.

Play It Again, Sam -- We've been singing the praises of Juan Pablo Angel and Jozy Altidore and Saturday night was merely an affirmation of their individual and collective brilliance. Angel figuratively claimed the mantle of Undisputed Leader of the Red Bull when he literally waved off his rival teammates and grabbed the spot-kick before blasting the ball past Joe Cannon for the opening score. Juan Pablo cemented this position by opportunistically pouncing on a rebound and once again firing the ball through the hapless Cannon's paws for the game-winner. Jozy was Jozy, too big, too strong and too fast for opposing defenders, maneuvering around them with steely grace and authoritatively finishing in the box. Even Beckham was impressed.

Who Are Those Guys? -- The Galaxy probably expected problems with Jozy and Angel, but were ill-prepared to deal with the rejuvenated Clint Mathis and emerging Dane Richards. Mathis scored a cracker (making MetroStar-Red Bull history) and instigated the victory with a scorching shot destined to deflect off Cannon and find Juan Pablo's thankful boot. In between, he pushed the issue throughout the match, refusing to turn the ball back to the defense, instead insisting on going forward, pressing the Galaxy defense with pressure, pressure pressure. He also got stuck in on every tackle available (Joe Vide and Seth Stammler were refreshingly greedy with most of them) and took the time to shake hands and chat with Becks after knocking him down. Classy Cletus. Love it. Richards had his best game as a Red Bull, causing havoc on the wings and keeping the Galaxy defenders on their heels. Prediction: If and when Richards learns how to use his left foot and how and when to shoot the ball, he will be a Major League Soccer All-Star.

Grumpy Old Men -- Remind me, why are Dave Van den Bergh and Ronald Waterreus on the Red Bull? Seriously, what service do they provide? Because other than absorbing a Beckham free-kick rocket in the melon while manning the wall, all Ven den Bergh did on Saturday night was virtually pass the ball to Cannon on pure sitters twice, TWICE! which would've definitively iced the game. His contributions beyond that were nil. He jogged after the ball while Mathis, Vide, Stammler and Richards were scrambling and he offered nothing offensively. And Wattereus, frankly, is worse than Tony Meola on crosses, hurt all the time and an extremely over-rated passer of the ball. Cutoffs Conway is an upgrade.

The Cletus vs. Captain America -- Right now, Clint Mathis is so much better than Claudio Reyna in the middle of the field that Bruce Arena will have a hard time looking his players in the eye if he stubbornly tries to replace the feisty, offensive sparkplug (YouTube) with the subdued, make-no-mistakes plodder. This is not hating on Claudio, who we've long admired, but merely an acknowledgement of a simple fact the Red Bull can ill afford to ignore: Clint provides more energy, more fight and more goals than Claudio. Period.

The Ambassador -- David Beckham, though visibly limited due to injury and the Giants Stadium turf, is an instant on-the-field difference maker for the Galaxy. And not just with dead balls. True, the first corner and free he took both ended up in the back of the net via the head of Carlos Pavon, but Beckham's distribution of the ball during the run of play cannot be overlooked. For the second time in two matches, he absolutely carved open the opposition with a perfect ball directly to Landon Donovan's foot, right in stride. Unlike the goal scored against DC (YouTube), this time Donovan was forced to square the ball only for Alan Gordon to botch the tap in, but Beckham's ability to find the open man is already without peer in MLS. Donovan and the Galaxy should be delighted.

MLSnet.com | USA Today | Soccernet | Times UK | SI.com | Newsday

Beckham is Beckham in First Start

2007-08-16T12:14:00.000-05:00

David Beckham did what David Beckham does in his first start last night, leading the LA Galaxy to a 2-nil victory over DC United in the Superliga semifinals. He pinged the ball around the spotty Home Depot pitch (hat tip to duNord) with aplomb, he made the keeper look silly with a signature free-kick goal (YouTube) and he passed a perfectly-weighted ball to Landon Donovan to complete the scoring.

And none of this is surprising to those who know anything about David Beckham's soccer abilities, because this is what he's been doing since Alex Ferguson plucked him from the Brimsdown Rovers youth club when he was 14-years-old. And this is what he will do until he retires. He's not Pele. He's not Michael Jordan. He's not John from Cincinnati. He's David Beckham.

For those desperately needing someone to compare him to, think Major League Soccer's Carlos Valderrama, sitting in the middle of the field and orchestrating the offense with vision, touch and savvy. Or for old timers, think Cosmos playmaker Vladislav Bogicevic, employing superior game awareness, body control and attacking flair as a midfield general.

Becks was also lucky to avoid a straight red for his clumsy from-behind mugging of Jaime Moreno (channeling serial bad tackler and old friend Paul Scholes?), and survived a potentially career-ending high-studded attack from Ben Olsen's Beard. He gingerly limped off the field to big applause and now we'll all await the latest word from his Cranky Ankle. This is Beckham. A terrific, international soccer star playing out his final years in the United States and creating buzz and helping to grow the Beautiful Game. Enjoy it for what it is.

Beckham on Saturday: Will He or Won't He?

2007-08-15T16:52:00.000-05:00

The David Beckham Saga has more angles than Picasso's lady friends. Should he have played against Chelski? Should he save himself for Major League Soccer action, or compete in Superliga? Should he tell McClown to buzz off with his Germany friendly?

While these are all interesting questions (with easy answers, a) obviously not, b) you bet yer bippy, and c) hells yeah), for now, we'd like to examine a purely parochial part of the Becks-Injury conundrum: How does this affect the Red Bull?

According to Soccernet he may play at the Meadowlands on Saturday, depending on how he feels after participating in tonight's Superliga encounter with DC United. But on the other hand, Soccernet also opines that Becks hate him some turf so there's a good chance he'll take a pass on the crappy Giants Stadium surface.

Being sunny, optimistic types, here's how we see it:

If Beckham plays on Saturday, it's terrific for the Red Bull, because all of the extra fans who come out will get what they paid for and enjoy the day and want to come back to support the local team they discover while gawking at the vaguely androgynous curiosity from Ol' Blighty. It's kinda like Becks is the recreational weed, the gateway drug, if you will, to the seductive heroin that is live professional soccer (YouTube). (Hey kids, remember, don't do drugs. And stay in school. Oh, and don't forget to floss.)

If Beckham doesn't play on Saturday, it's terrific for the Red Bull too, because all of the extra fans who come out will get pissed at the EuroTrash Slacker, and the enemy of their enemy being their friend, they will immediately support the rampaging Red Bull who will proceed to hammer the Galaxy en route to three crucial MLS points. With Juan Pablo Angel and Jozy Altidore strutting their stuff, the Red Bull will gain thousands of fans and march to their first Major League Soccer championship.

Limited Engagement: The ProducersStarring JP Angel and Jozy Altidore

2007-08-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

Remember when Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick were the hottest duo in town, starring in The Producers? We figured once the hysteria died down (not to mention the ticket prices) we'd eventually catch the performance, but time passed and before we knew it Ralph Malph and Potsie were playing Max and Leo. Not good.

That's when we learned an important lesson we feel compelled to share with you today: All dynamic, electrifying pairings -- including the Juan Pablo Angel and Jozy Altidore combo that tore through Toronto FC Sunday at the Meadowlands -- are limited engagements, and you need to see them while you can.

The Angel-Altidore Show is the most entertaining (YouTube), productive goalscoring force in Major League Soccer. The quiet confidence, deft touch and aerial dominance of the classy Colombian, coupled with the raw power, intuitive skills and brash enthusiasm of the explosive American teenager is simply a sight to behold. Angel opened the scoring in Sunday's 3-nil victory with a poacher's delight, first-timing a deflected ball in the box into the net with enough vinegar to drown a fish supper. Altidore then took center stage, shaking off Tyrone Marshall near midfield, before passing neatly to Angel on the right and then bundling home the former Aston Villa forward's cross for a 2-0 lead. On the final score, Angel flicked on a header to Jozy who danced past a defender with a superb first touch and blasted into the net to complete the rout.

Scintillating stuff and it brought the house down. But the curtain is about to fall on Angel-Altidore, just as it falls on all great pairings. Martin and Lewis. Butch and Sundance. Donald and Ivana. Nothing lasts forever. It's the circle of life. Jozy Altidore is headed to Europe for big bucks, sooner rather than later, so get your tickets now and enjoy the show. Or before you know it, the Red Bull strikers will be Ralph Malph and Potsie. Not good.

Jozy Altidore Headlines YouTubePalooza

2007-08-10T13:34:00.000-05:00

We've been waiting for Red Bull striker, and FIFA 08 coverboy, Jozy Altidore's version of the Adidas Impossible is Nothing videos to pop-up on YouTube, and although the quality of this version is less than perfect (you've got to endure a choppy bit of cheesy pregame nonsense prior to the actual spot), without Freddy Adu.....er....without further adieu...here's Jozy and a sampling of other cool YouTube video:

Jozy | Messi | Beckham | Kaka | Guardado | St. Margarets

Extended Impossible is Nothing Video | Jose Plus 10 | Ali

Becks-Scooby Doo | Messi Chip | More Messi (via Dailymotion.com)

David Beckham Plays Soccer Game

2007-08-10T13:05:00.000-05:00

Jozy and the Eurocrats: Big Clubs and Fat Contracts

2007-08-09T14:17:00.000-05:00

Freddy Adu's inevitable foray into European futbol has pushed Red Bull striker Jozy Altidore to the top of the He's Leaving For Europe List. Soccer by Ives, as usual, gets the straight dope directly from the 17-year-old out of Livingston, New Jersey.

"There was a time when I said to myself that I'm not going to go there [Europe] until I'm 21, when I'm more mature and able to take care of myself and live a life like that. But then again I thought about the soccer aspect. The quicker you can get there the better. Even if it starts off tough you can always adjust to it, especially if it's a team that needs you. It's all about timing."

Regarding timing, Altidore becomes legal when the clock strikes midnight on Nov. 6, just as Major League Soccer shuts down and European clubs start scouring the globe for elusive goal-scoring saviors who can answer their prayers via the winter transfer window. Merry Christmas, Ajax fans, here's Jozy! P.S. Check out Paul Gardner's complete review of the Under-18 European Eligibility Kabuki Dance (hat tip to du Nord).

Of course, none of this comes as a surprise to the tens of Red Bull Rising readers, who remember this from way back on April 23, 2007.

"Jozy Altidore's combination of strength and skill is something to behold ... The kid's only 17, and still learning, but when he figures out how to battle ... rough treatment without resorting to histrionics ... he will be one of the most feared strikers in the league. Sadly, here's a prediction: Catch him now while you can, folks. This will be Jozy's last year with the Red Bull and MLS. A player with this much upside and youth is heading abroad for Big Money."

Beasley Battles Fat Bastard, Balkan Bigots

2007-08-08T07:41:00.000-05:00

American winger DaMarcus Beasley had an eventful first week with new club Glasgow Rangers, where he was repeatedly assaulted by notorious Tartan Torturer Fat Bastard in his Scottish Premier League debut, and then subjected to some good ol' fashioned Balkan racism in European action.

Beasley overcame the oh-so-clever monkey chants from the highly-evolved FK Zeta faithful by scoring his first Champions League goal for the Old Firm side out of Ibrox. DaMarcus hopes to avoid a roadside confrontation with William Wallace upon his return to the Land of Haggis.

We're Back

2007-08-07T23:08:00.000-05:00

Red Bull Rising was forced to leave the country, because of this Sollozzo business. Thankfully, our Godfather got us cleared of all those false charges and made arrangements to bring us back here safely. While away, we followed MLS, the US National Team and World Soccer religiously via satellite dish, when not enchanted by a beauty piu Greca d'Italiana. We considered posting in absentia, but in a court of law they could've proved that you, our loyal readers, had knowledge of our whereabouts. Anyway, we've settled all family business and in five years Red Bull Rising is going to be completely legitimate. Trust us. It's all we can tell you about our business. Now, back to the soccer...

Red Bull Strike a Blow for The Beautiful Game

2007-05-25T14:16:00.000-05:00

Last night, The Red Bull of Major League Soccer, confronted with the absence of their two best fullbacks and their top holding midfielder, did what storied European clubs Liverpool and AC Milan refused to do earlier this week, they put their most creative, attacking players on the field and let them play The Beautiful Game. The result, both on the pitch and among the die-hard fans scattered around cavernous Giants Stadium, was also quite fetching: A 3-nil victory over the Chicago Fire and about 9,000 or so very happy customers.

Bruce Arena, to his credit, rejected the negative and embraced the light, putting forwards Juan Pablo Angel, John Wolyniec and Jozy Altidore in the lineup. Attacking midfielders Dema Kovalenko and Dave Van den Bergh were pressed into action at fullback, with speedy Dane Richards and playmaker Clint Mathis joining out-of-position Jozy in the midfield. And it worked beautifully, with skill and creativity and movement overwhelming Chicago from the opening whistle (two goals in the first three minutes) and punctuated by a cool Angel finish at the end.

This is the way the game should be played, unlike the Liverpool-Milan European Cup Final, which featured two lone strikers (don't gimme Gerrard was a forward, he was a fifth midfielder given free rein to make runs into the box, just like Kaka for AC) and eight -- count'em, eight -- other midfielders charged with one negative task: stop the other guys from scoring. And the two forwards who did start were Pippo Inzaghi, famous for goals which bounce off his body (in Wednesday's first goal, his arm, YouTube), and Dirk Kuyt, who is a great defensive player for a forward. Meanwhile, Craig Bellamy, who scored one goal and created another (YouTube) in Liverpool's thrilling victory over Barcelona at the Nou Camp, never got on the field, and Peter Crouch, who was only the second-top scorer in the entire competition with six goals, was held out until far too late in Athens.

Unlike Rafa Benitez, Arena, at least for now, realizes the potency of his talented group of attackers -- Angel, Altidore, Mathis, Richards and Wolyniec -- and is encouraging them to perform their magic in pursuit of MLS Cup 2007. If last night's match is any indication, the adulation and support of long-suffering RBNY/Metros fans is not far behind, as the laughter and optimism among the crowd filing out of Giants Stadium was as noticeable as it was welcome.

A Public Service Advisory For The Logic-Impaired: We are not suggesting The Red Bull are better than Liverpool or AC Milan, which would be akin to saying Miss Piggy is hotter than Miss Scarlett. Not. We merely posit the opinion that this week, The Red Bull put their most talented, exiting players on the field and encouraged them to go forward and score goals, while Benitez and Ancelotti decidedly did not.

The Wrath of Con: Cagey Kreis Hustles Mo

2007-05-24T14:23:00.000-05:00

Mo Johnston and Toronto FC fleeced hapless Steve Pastorino and Real Salt Lake last year, nabbing negligently unprotected alltime MLS goalscoring leader Jason Kreis in the Expansion Draft and extorting an allocation in exchange for his rightful return to Utah. A neat little grift from the Great White North. Kreis, however, exacted sweet revenge this week, hoodwinking Toronto into swapping Alecko Eskandarian and a First Round SuperDraft pick for Jeff Cunningham in a sting that'd make Henry Gondorff and Johnny Hooker proud.

Like most scams, on paper, this looks like a square-deal for Mo and The Mounties. Cunningham is one of the most prolific strikers in the history of Major League Soccer and Esky is struggling in the Land of Maple Syrup (YouTube). But look closely. Cunningham's teams have compiled an uninspiring 113-114-56 record in his 10-year MLS career. Even bad teams score goals, and Cunningham, age 30, has led plenty of bad teams in scoring.

The 24-year-old Eskandarian, on the other hand, scores goals for good teams (YouTube), including an MLS Cup Most Valuable Player performance for DC United in 2004. DC were 51-39-34 with Esky, made the playoffs all four years and in addition to the MLS Cup crown, won the Supporter's Shield in 2006. Toss in the SuperDraft pick and the fact that Esky's dad is one of our favorite Cosmos players of alltime, and this is a freakin' steal for Jason Kreis and Real Salt Lake.

If You Play Them, They Will Score

2007-05-21T14:04:00.000-05:00

Funny thing about strikers, they need to be on the field to score goals. Luckily for Red Bull fans, Bruce Arena took note on Saturday night and started two forwards -- Juan Pablo Angel and John Wolyniec -- along with attacking midfielder Clint Mathis and wingers Dave Van den Bergh and Dane Richards, and lo and behold our heroes recorded a thorough 4-nil victory over the slumping Columbus Crew.

With young stud Jozy Altidore on an excused absence to attend his Senior Prom in Florida, Staten Island's favorite son Woly got a rare start alongside the superstar Colombian and it paid immediate dividends, with Wolyniec bagging a goal and an assist and Angel setting up two scores before finding the back of the net himself off a horrendous Crew mistake.

Thus the Red Bull find themselves in second place in the East, trailing the Revs by three points, with a game in hand, despite injuries to captain Claudio Reyna, first-choice goalkeeper Ronald Waterreus and hard-working fullback Hunter Freeman. Seth Stammler filled in for Claudio Reyna as holding midfielder, and hardman Dema Kovalenko moved to the backline, allowing Woly to move up top with Angel and force the action on the opposition, as opposed to adopting a defensive (and often losing) 4-5-1 lineup.

DeGrandpre Memo to RBNY Season Ticketholders (Hat Tip to MLS Underground) includes updates on stadium construction, practice facility and free ticket giveaway for Thursday vs Chicago Fire, perhaps in response to lackluster attendance at Giants Stadium (h/t BigAppleSoccer).

Why Bob Bradley is The Right Guy for Job

2007-05-17T16:43:00.000-05:00

The removal of the interim tag from Bob Bradley's title as Head Coach of the US Men's National Team has stimulated vigorous debate, from those who ask what the heck took so long to those questioning the wisdom of hiring yet another American coach. But there are two good reasons for making Bob Bradley The Man: 1) He understands the unique circumstances of American players and 2) He genuinely, intensely, passionately wanted the gig.

Bradley Knows American Players:

American soccer players must overcome obstacles simply not found in Germany, Argentina, France, Portugal or Sweden (to name a few totally random nations), including Little League, Pop Warner, AAU hoops, a totally hostile print media, an indifferent to curious-at-best broadcast media, a Corporate Culture largely invested in rival domestic professional sports and their stadia and an Amateur-to-NCAA-to-Pro structure totally alien to world soccer.

Bob Bradley grew up in this environment and helped grow the sport of soccer -- both collegiately and professionally -- despite these obstacles (unlike Jurgen Klinsmann, Jose Pekerman, Gerard Houllier, Carlos Queiroz or Sven-Goran Ericcson to name a few totally random coaches). Bradley can relate to Jay DeMerit's journey. Can Klinsmann? Bradley can commiserate with the struggles of DaMarcus Beasley. Can Queiroz? Houllier? This shared experience in surmounting these challenges should not be dismissed lightly.

Bradley Wants the Gig:

Memo to US Soccer: You wore your best little black dress, took them to dinner, paid for their lobster (YouTube), but at the end of the night, Klinsmann, Pekerman, Houllier, Queiroz and Ericcson et al were just not that into you. We know it hurts, but it was Bradley who loved you all along, and you should thank your lucky stars that he looked the other way while you shamelessly courted the Foreign Legion.

Despite your indiscretions, Bradley will do everything he can to guide you through the peaks and valleys on the path to South Africa 2010. And he won't abandon you along the way, which does tend to happen when foreign coaches start feeling the heat en route to the World Cup Finals. Bradley's aim is true (YouTube). Dalliances aside, you made the right call.

Super-Sized Hypocrisy With Extra Fries

2007-05-17T11:40:00.000-05:00

There are plenty of reasons to slam Corporate Red Bull. Marketing and promotion of the current squad and the 2007 season is horrible, the game atmosphere at Giants Stadium is pathetic and the television broadcast situation is spotty at best. But when the crooks at St. Barnabas Health Care start piling on, things are going way too far.

MLS Underground (an excellent soccer blog, btw) gets the ball rolling with a post on St. Barnabas's supposed reasons for parting company with Corporate Red Bull:

From MLS Underground:
"MLS Underground has learned from a source with knowledge of the situation that St. Barnabas decided to drop their sponsorship of the Red Bulls because they didn't want to be associated with the drink after which the Red Bulls are named. The Health Care company believed that the organization was pushing the drink on children and because they consider the drink unhealthy, St. Barnabas made the decision to sever ties."

So, according to this, St. Barnabas Health Care is all about the children and what is healthy for them, right? And to associate with a company that tries to hook our precious babies on nasty, bad products was just too much for the altruistic, wonderful folks at St. Barnabas Health Care, right?

Ha! Hypocrisy, Thy Name is St. Barnabas!

As anyone who has ever entered St. Barnabas Hospital in Livingston, NJ would know, those folks could not care less about pumping up tykes with crap food and drink. Otherwise, why the hell would they have a freakin' McDonalds in their hospital? And this nonsense about healthy selections and other items available in the cafeteria is hooey. The hospital MickeyD's is packed with kids scarfing down fat-laden burgers and fries and the cash registers ring out in joy during every purchase.

Trust us, parents with a loved one actually in that hospital are hard-pressed telling Junior, "Thanks again for being a trooper while your little sister is getting ready for surgery, son, but sorry, you absolutely cannot have the Shrek Happy Meal you've seen a million times on TV. Buck up and have an apple."

The Red Bull drink may be junk (we at Red Bull Rising have posited that opinion several times) but it is an indisputable fact that McDonald's has pushed more unhealthy products on children than Red Bull can ever in a million years imagine to sell. Odd, isn't it, that St. Barnabas trots out the "protect the children" talking point when it's Red Bull, but they have no problem entering a far, far more profitable business arrangement with McDonald's?

Or perhaps, if you care to learn a little bit about St. Barnabas Health Care, it isn't odd at all.

From the NY Times:
"By systematically inflating the bills for their sickest elderly patients, the prosecutors said, the executives of the St. Barnabas Health Care System bilked the federal government of at least $630 million from 1995 to 2003. The hospital system ... and its executives who had been threatened with criminal prosecution ... agreed to repay the federal government $265 million."

Corporate Red Bull may or may not be bad guys, but in the interests of fairness and decency, we can all agree that until federal prosecutors find they've robbed over $600 Million Dollars from the American Taxpayer, they at least ain't as bad as St. Barnabas Health Care. Now, pass the fries and let's get back to soccer.

Bruce Almighty: The Arena Rules

2007-05-15T16:04:00.000-05:00

OK, here's how it works. When the Red Bull win, the players had the right approach, stuck to the plan, did what they were told and collectively, the coaches, organization and players won the game. But when The Red Bull lose, as they did on Sunday, the players sucked. That's the World According to Bruce Arena. It's how it worked with the US National Team and it's how it works now that he's back in Major League Soccer. Get used it.

Sayeth Bruce Almighty:

"I think we got outplayed in the first half just in terms of the effort aspect of the game. In the second half I thought our performance on the technical side was horrible."

Notice the clever use of the royal "we" and "our." King Bruce himself wasn't outplayed, of course. Bruce The Infallible's performance on the technical side wasn't horrible either. His Kingdom for a Horse! (YouTube) Or at least Subjects/Players willing to follow Bruce Almighty to the Promised the Land!

A funny thing happened on the way to the MLS Cup, however, and though lowly serfs ourselves (YouTube), allow us to humbly ask a few questions regarding Sunday's 1-ni loss to the Colorado Rapids:

1) Did the players bench Jozy Altidore, the team's top goalscorer?

2) Did the players choose defensive-minded, offensively-limited Seth Stammler as the replacement for injured Claudio Reyna?

3) Speaking of Reyna, did the players use a DP slot (and over a million bucks) on a 33-year-old who missed 58 of 120 league matches over the course of the past three full seasons with his previous club?

4) Did the players see Pablo Mastreoni man-marking Juan Pablo Angel and Greg Vanney giving similar treatment to Dane Richards (since the Rapids had no worries about defending Stammler or Mendes or Parke or Regan or Kovalenko) and make no adjustments whatsoever until late in the second half?

5) Did the players sign off on the brilliant Red Bull marketing plan, which apparently consists of no marketing and results in a cavernous, depressing environment to watch and play professional soccer?

Here's The World According to Red Bull Rising:

(At the Risk of Blasphemy and Exile to Elba)

Arena had a choice to make upon the arrival of Juan Pablo Angel. He could either be positive and field an attacking 4-4-2 side with Dema-Mathis in the middle, Van den Bergh-Richards on the flanks and both Angel and Jozy up top. Or he could be negative and field a defensive 4-5-1 lineup, featuring his most dynamic player on the bench. He chose the negative option and got a negative result. Duh.

Johan Cruyff put it best:

"It’s simple. It doesn’t matter how many goals they score, as long as you score one more. Then you win."

On Sunday, Arena rejected this Cruyffian Logic, tried to concede less goals than the Rapids, lost the game and blamed his players. Just like he tried to concede less goals than the Czech Republic last summer, lost the game and blamed his players. Unless Bruce Almighty comes down from the mountain and joins us commoners starving for positive, entertaining, creative, offensive soccer, the Red Bull win column will become as barren a wasteland as Giants Stadium was on Sunday.

Open All Night: Red Bull Fans Need Not Apply

2007-05-09T14:49:00.000-05:00

It's official. Red Bull matches not broadcast on TV outlets available to the masses -- as opposed to HD channels which should not be named (hint: mogul/doofus owned and operated) -- result in crushing late-game meltdowns. Unlike Saturday's draw with RSL, the Red Bull paid dearly Tuesday night, dropping a 3-1 decision to the Galaxy in LA, thus prematurely ending their participation in the US Open Cup.

But, while the opportunity to secure the storied domestic cup has eluded the Red Bull for another year, there was some good news, and his name is Juan Pablo Angel. The Colombian striker by way of River Plate and Aston Villa entered the match in the 62nd minute and managed six shots on goal, including a cracking free-kick which found net in OT for the lone Red Bull tally. Unfortunately, Landon Donovan also made a cameo appearance, sparking the Galaxy to the 3-1 victory.

MLS Week Five: Tough Starts and Quick Brains

2007-05-08T14:49:00.000-05:00

After his first game in charge of Real Salt Lake, a shaky Jason Kreis sounded just like another guy (YouTube) who landed a top job despite a disturbing lack of experience. On the other hand, Steve Ralston, armed with more experience (YouTube) than you could shake a corner flag at, employed his superior Soccer IQ to spark the Revs past the Fire. Here's Week Five of Major League Soccer 2007, in the words of the participants themselves.

Red Bull 3, Real Salt Lake 3 -- "It was difficult for me, to be honest. I didn't know really what to do. I didn't know whether to be sitting, standing, or standing on my head. It was tough," Newbie Jason Kreis calms the RSL faithful with steady assurances he's up for the job.

DC United 2, Chivas USA 1 -- "We're in no spot right now to get upset about ugly wins. We needed a win, we needed three points, and we got it ... No, it wasn't pretty, I'm not going to watch it, but again, it's a win ... We won. Leave us alone," Sunny Ben Olsen looks on the bright side of a butt-ugly victory in LA.

NE Revolution 3, Chicago Fire 1 -- "The brain is always quicker than the legs and he proves it," Dr. Steve Nicol does a physical examination of Steve Ralston's quick-brained, slow-legged performance.

Houston Dynamo 3, Colorado Rapids 1 -- "Kyle [Beckerman] and Jovan [Kirovski] were too deep. They never really participated in the offense until the last 10 minutes. There was a lot of room for them (Houston) to break through the midfield," Fashionista Fernando Clavijo fitting two of his players with stylish, but tasteful, goat-horns.

KC Wizards 1, Columbus Crew 0 -- "We have to make sure that we keep our heads on our shoulders and not get too excited about the fact that we have 12 points right now. We need to make sure we are focusing on the grand scheme, and that is winning championships," Veteran Kevin Hartman tries to keep it real in Kansas City.

Colorado Rapids 2, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Any time we get to beat this team here, in front of their fans, it's awesome. We like to send them home unhappy," Rocky Mountain Cup Series participant Kyle Beckerman shows the love to soccer fans in Utah.

NE Revolution 1, DC United 1 -- "Well, we didn’t lose, but we still didn’t win," Master of the Obvious Josh Gros gets philosophical about DC's struggles.

MLS Quotes: Week One | Two | Three | Four | Archive

If You Blow A Game in the Last Two MinutesBut Nobody Sees It, Does It Make a Noise?

2007-05-07T15:32:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the brilliant MLS broadcast deal with a high-definition cable mogul/doofus who won't be getting any free publicity from this blog (and our tens of readers!) we have no first-hand knowledge of what the hell happened in Utah on Saturday night, but rumor has it, the Red Bull blew a two-goal lead in the waning moments of a 3-3 draw with Under-New-Management Real Salt Lake.

On the plus side, published reports claim Clint Mathis had a really good game in his return from exile, scoring two goals and setting up a Dane Richards tally. Good for Mathis and even better for the Red Bull, as an inspired, productive Cletus, roaming freely with the borderline obsessive-compulsive, defensively-positioned Claudio Reyna providing cover, could spark a potential Juan Pablo Angel-Jozy Altidore striking partnership to heights previously unseen in Major League Soccer. Provided Bruce Arena resists his conservative instincts and unleashes an offensive Mathis-Angel-Altidore lineup, of course. Stay tuned, as Juan Pablo scored his work visa and may play on Sunday against the Colorado Rapids (Hat tip to Big Apple Soccer).

Oh, and four words for the mogul/doofus (YouTube) who secured the rights to Red Bull-Real without an agreement with the equally loathesome NY/NJ metropolitan cable TV Jackass: Karma is a bitch.

When All Else Fails, Take a Dive

2007-05-04T09:08:00.000-05:00

Say you're a fading 33-year-old superstar, consigned to the bench in favor of a relative nobody, as your once proud franchise flounders at the bottom of the table, pointless after three games. Your newbie coach, desperately trying to avoid a pink slip, inserts you into the match for a moment of magic conjured effortlessly five years ago, but at this stage of your illustrious career, the thrill is gone (YouTube). What to do? If you're Jaime Moreno, you take a dive.

New England Revolution defender James Riley, the unwitting straight-man in Moreno's shameful, but ultimately successful farce, summed up the blatant manipulation of the hapless Ref with an honesty which stood in stark contrast to his opponent's mendacity.

"He probably weighs three times as much as me," said Riley, recounting the perfectly legal shoulder-to-shoulder contact in the box which Moreno sir-laurence-olivier-ed into an unwarranted PK and an undeserved draw. "Afterwards, he winked at me. He knew he dove."

And so did everybody else, James. So did everybody else.

Jason Kreis, Superstar!

2007-05-03T13:55:00.000-05:00

The King is dead. Long live the King. Jason Kreis, The Player, has retired from Real Salt Lake, but Jason Kreis, The Brand New Head Coach, is now in charge of the struggling Major League Soccer squad, with John Ellinger kicked upstairs to the technical director position.

The first player signed by expansion Real Salt Lake, Kreis was toiling with mixed results in Real's midfield this season, as Ellinger opted for speedy Jeff Cunningham in a lone striker role en route to a lackluster 0-2-2 record. Kreis takes over a franchise perhaps best known for being the current squad of 17-year-old phenom Freddy Adu, and for controversies surrounding a long-term stadium deal in Utah.

Who Had The Under on Guevara Pissing Off Preki?

2007-05-03T13:26:00.000-05:00

It took all of four games for Amadao Guevara to convince Preki that he could best contribute to the success of Chivas by moving to Canada. Red Bull fans, of course, are shocked...shocked that El Lobo's petulant behavior and over-rated game failed to impress the Goat-Worshippers of Los Angeles. It ain't like he ever flipped out before.

Preki is backpedaling (panicking?) on the reported deal with Toronto FC, which would send Paulo Nagamura and a draft pick to LA in exchange for Guevara, so it might not happen. But clearly, El Lobo, who recently extolled the virtues of Southern California while taking cheap shots at New York and Red Bull fans, has worn out his welcome. Next stop Toronto? Dallas? Stay tuned.

MLS Week Four: Insomnia, Impotence, Inspiration

2007-05-01T10:16:00.000-05:00

Winless DC United is tossing and turning at night (YouTube), unable to get any shut-eye in the face of three-straight losses, FC Dallas can't summon the stamina (YouTube) to close the deal in crunch time, and Landon Donovan can barely contain himself (YouTube) in the presence of a loose ball. Welcome to Week Four of Major League Soccer 2007, in the words of the participants themselves.

Red Bulls 1, FC Dallas 0 -- "I don't really care if people underestimate us. Let them and they'll pay the price," Dave (The Big Easy) Van den Bergh calls out the Red-Bulls-Ain't-For-Real crowd.

KC Wizards 1, Toronto FC 0 -- "From the moment we walked out, it was an environment where this is what we live, eat, breathe and sleep for," Eddie Johnson smells the roses in Canada, after beating Toronto FC for the second time in four days.

Columbus Crew 1, DC United 0 -- "We've given up seven goals in three games. It's tough to sleep at night," Troy Perkins prescribes NyQuil as the cure for what ills underachieving United.

NE Revolution 1, FC Dallas 0 -- "We tired badly in the second half and just completely ran out of steam ... we just didn't have the energy to push it at the end," Steve Morrow considers Viagra instead of NyQuil as the cure for what ills slumping Dallas.

LA Galaxy 3, Chivas USA 1 -- "It just squirted free and my eyes just lit up," Landon Donovan provides a glimpse into the soul of a born playmaker, haters be damned.

Chicago Fire 1, Houston Dynamo 0 -- "I don't know if we could have done anything else but score a goal. It's frustrating when you go out there and play that well and come up with nothing. Mostly, we were in their end and pressuring them and to still lose 1-0, that is as frustrating as it gets," Eddie Robinson calls out the Dynamo forwards.

Colorado Rapids 2, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "I would be really angry if they outworked us tonight, and that didn't happen," Eddie Pope apparently quite happy with a 2-nil loss to Real's biggest rival.

MLS Quotes: Week One | Week Two | Week Three | Archive

Red Bull Defense Does Dallas

2007-04-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Paolo Maldini, Rafael Marquez and Fabio Cannavaro have one thing in common: None of them play for the Red Bull. Heck, Jimmy Conrad and Oguchi Onyewu aren't part of Bruce Arena's squad. And while Ronald Waterreus is playing well, 14 saves total in four matches, an average of 3.6 saves per game, is not exactly Brad Freidel-like, standing-on-your-head dominance. Yet, the Red Bull recorded a Major League Soccer-record fourth-straight clean sheet to open a season in last night's 1-nil victory over FC Dallas at Extra Cheese and Double Anchovies Park in Texas.

So, absent superstar defenders (Todd Dunivant, Hunter Freeman, Jeff Parke and Carlos Mendes are playing exceptionally, we'd vote all four onto the MLS All-Star Team, but even the most fanatical RBNY supporter would hesitate before arguing they are world-class players) and Petr Cech-style brilliance between the sticks, how are the Red Bull doing it? Is it the weather? Voodoo? Copious amounts of a certain energy drink with suspect origins and dubious medicinal value?

Sometimes the simplest minds hit upon the most elusive truths and last night's MLS Primetime Thursday telecast featured the following exchange (paraphrasing because we're too lazy to check the DVR, but we swear to Pele Almighty it was along these lines, and we DID NOT get anyone liquored up before misquoting him):

Eric Wynalda: "Look how deep Claudio is playing. The Red Bulls paid Designated Player money to get this guy and look how far back in the field he's setting up. It's like he's a defender, not a part of the offense."

Tommy Smyth: "Oi teenk dat's dee pwoint. Ee's back dair 'elpin' and dey 'aven't been scored on in TREE GAMES!"

Sure and Begorrah, we teenk Tommy may be onto something. Bruce Arena has the Red Bull defending as unit, with not only the goalkeeper and Back Four tasked with keeping the ball out of the net, but Reyna, Stammler, Kovalenko, Van den Bergh, Richards and Altidore -- all of them -- responsible for 1) pressuring the ball and 2) maintaining the defensive shape as a T-E-A-M. And so far, the results have been astounding, as Dunivant and Freeman continued to stifle any attacks from the flanks while Mendes and Parke (with a few exceptions more attributable to positive play by Carlos Ruiz, Kenny Cooper and Ramon Nunez than any glaring errors on their part) kept the middle of the pitch relatively traffic-free.

Wynalda was indeed correct -- c'mon haters, he ain't all bad (YouTube) -- Claudio was playing way, way deep, contradicting pregame prognostications he would move to the top of the midfield diamond in place of the red-card suspended Clint Mathis. If anything, it was Dema who spearheaded the attack up the middle, while the Red Bull concentrated most of their offensive forays through Van den Bergh and Richards on the wings, before whipping in crosses to Jozy. Given Arena's stubborn nature and terrific early results, this is the system the Red Bull will be playing, with minor adjustments along the way due to player availability (Angel's eventual inclusion, the return of The Cletus).

Quick hits on the match:

The Night of the Hunter: Congrats to Hunter Freeman, who returned to his old stompin' grounds and promptly stomped fellow Lone Star-Stater Kenny Cooper by scoring the lone goal of the match. It's always fun when the local kid shines in front of family and friends, especially when it's one of the good guys.

Punch-Drunk Love: Despite being too young to legally drink, 17-year-old Jozy Altidore is indeed the object of many obsessions, namely, every fullback in Major League Soccer wants to punch him, kick him, pull him and trip him. To his credit, Jozy took it like a man, and despite not scoring, did a good job as the target player up front.

Rumble Fish: This is in no way a call to violence, but rather a rhetorical, metaphorical expression of frustration: Someone needs to smack Carlos Ruiz. "El Pescadito" spent more time flapping around on the deck than the extras from The Perfect Storm. Enough. Play soccer and stop trying to bait the Ref. Sheesh.

Little Caesar: After missing one game due to injury and largely playing a supporting role in last week's victory over Houston, Claudio Reyna reasserted himself in Dallas, vociferously demanding the ball in space and castigating teammates he deemed not up to snuff. The glare he gave Van den Bergh after the Big Dutchman didn't properly (in Claudio's view) run onto a pass, was exceeded only by the dismissive head-shake employed after a heavy through-ball (again, in Claudio's view) missed the RBNY captain.

Broadcast News: MLS Primetime Thursday's coverage was pretty good, including Wynalda's personalizing Reyna's performance and demeanor. On the aforementioned through-ball which failed to hit Claudio in stride, Wynalda added (again paraphrasing, lazy not yellow journalism): "Oh, man, I remember learning that lesson. If it isn't right to Claudio you'll hear it." Commentary and analysis of American soccer broadcasts is overly critical in our view, but one pet peeve of ours is apparently becoming a key component of the ESPN offering, so we can bite our tongue (or stifle our keyboard, whatever) no longer. This tracking of the variable heights and speeds of crosses is asinine. Wynalda slammed one cross via the snazzy graphic element because, "that one could've come down with snow on it" or some such snarky slam. Check out the comparatively high and slow cross from Zidane to Henry (YouTube) which booked France into the 2006 World Cup Final. It's not how high or how fast a cross gets there, it's that it arrives at the same time as your teammate, and in the right spot.

MLS Week Three: In Their Own Words

2007-04-26T09:06:00.000-05:00

Patterns are emerging in Major League Soccer's 2007 Season. For instance, the Red Bull is good, and Real Salt Lake and Toronto are ... um ... NOT. Juan Pablo Angel and 15 Argentines have signed with MLS but Zinedine Zidane -- much like Generalissimo Francisco Franco still being dead -- is still not coming. Enough of all that, let's look at Week Three of the MLS Season through the eyes -- and words -- of the players and coaches themselves.

Red Bull 1, Dynamo 0 -- "Besides my brother, nobody else has beat me like that," Red Bull wunderkind Jozy Altidore after Eddie Robinson, Wade Barrett and Ryan Cochrane employed a Wedgies, Arm-Burns and Purple-Nurples strategy instead of the more conventional positioning, tackling and defending plan on Saturday night.

Revolution 2, Columbus Crew 2 -- "If you were sitting where I was sitting, it was absolute torture to watch, from the first minute to the last minute," Revs Coach Steve Nicol doing his bit to pump up ticket sales.

Chicago Fire 2, KC Wizards 1 -- "We're undefeated. You haven't seen our best soccer yet. The next three games will be hard games. Two out of three are on an artificial surface. They'll be tough. But we don't fear the road," Fire Coach Dave Sarachan gets all Blue Oyster Cult Meets FDR after nipping the Wiz.

Chivas USA 4, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Obviously we did not show up today and we got taken advantage of right from the beginning, 30 seconds into the game they scored a goal and that was it," Freddy Adu coming to grips with his decision to leave a winning club so he could get more minutes with a crap expansion team.

FC Dallas 3, Rapids 1 -- "I told Steve [Morrow, Dallas Coach] that I was ready to go. Thank God I was able to prove it on the field because I would have been in trouble," Ramon Nunez after spending much of the week in his native Honduras completing his U.S. residency paperwork.

BONUS QUOTE FROM GAME ONE OF MLS WEEK FOUR

KC Wizards 3, Toronto FC 0 -- "Well, we are building, and building slow," TFC Coach Mo Johnston blaming the Teamsters for his train-wreck of a squad.

Zebras, Dynamo Can't Stop First-Place Red Bull

2007-04-23T14:03:00.000-05:00

It was clear in the first few minutes of Saturday night's Red Bull-Dynamo showdown at the Meadowlands that Houston wasn't capable, willing or even interested in matching their hosts within the parameters of the Rules of the Game. Before we finished our first warm, watered-down beer, speedy winger Dane Richards was literally grabbed by the waist -- with both hands -- and thrown to the turf not once, but twice, by Dynamo defenders unable to dispossess the pacey Jamaican by conventional means. (We'll get to the Jozy Altidore situation later). Luckily for Houston, however, the myopic Referee thought this was perfectly OK, setting up the defining confrontation of the evening: Could the Red Bull keep their cool, stick to their gameplan and overcome both the officiating and the defending Major League Soccer champions? Answer: Yes!

It wasn't easy, though, as Dwayne DeRosario was inexplicably allowed to remain on the pitch after openly, blatantly, unquestionably, indisputably, purposefully handling the ball in the box in order to prevent a Red Bull goal. Clint Mathis' subsequent PK miss was a bit jarring, but more shocking, to the crowd and Red Bull players and staff, was DeRosario's continued participation in the game, despite his transgression. Making matters worse, the aforementioned Cletus was then harshly given a straight red for admittedly a foul, but in no circumstances worthy of a sending-off.

Down to 10-men against the defending champs, the Red Bull responded with the kind of grind-it-out and grab-the-three-points 1-nil home victory of which championships are made. We know...we know...it's way early, but the fact remains: Wins like this build confidence and character, two things that've been as scarce in the Land of the MetroStars-Red Bull as nice weather.

Quick hits on the match:

Catch Me If You Can: Jozy Altidore's combination of strength and skill is something to behold. With Eddie Robinson (a big boy with a nasty streak to boot) and Ryan Cochrane tag-teaming him, it got ugly fast. To his credit, Altidore kept battling and finally got the breakthrough via a terrific Hunter Freeman feed, but there were times Jozy took to the ground a little easily. The kid's only 17, and still learning, but when he figures out how to battle this rough treatment, without resorting to histrionics (a la the lamentable display of DeRosario, who cried to the Dynamo 12th Man ... er ... sorry ... Ref ... every time he lost the ball) he will be one of the most feared strikers in the league. Sadly, here's a prediction: Catch him now while you can, folks. This will be Jozy's last year with the Red Bull and MLS. A player with this much upside and youth is heading abroad for Big Money.

Undercover Brother: In case you hadn't noticed, RBNY captain Claudio Reyna returned to action after a one-game injury absence, but his subdued, understated performance (think Bill Murray in Lost in Translation) suggests he was not 100-percent. On the plus side, Reyna was out there, tracking DeRosario much of the evening, except for one or two occasions where the Dynamo talisman's superior speed left the erstwhile Captain America in the dust. Playing through injuries is a requirement of leadership and Claudio stepped up on Saturday night. Here's hoping he's better in Dallas.

Benchwarmers: John Wolyniec and Seth Stammler were stellar off the bench for the tiring Red Bull in the second half. With Altidore mercifully summoned to the sidelines after sustaining no less than 10 Robinson-directed muggings, Woly provided the perfect change-of-pace, chasing down loose Dynamo passes, setting up in good positions and generally keeping Houston's backline honest. Stammler came on and promptly blew up two successive Dynamo counterattacts, and despite not entering the game until the 54th-minute, he kicked every single Houston player (barring sheltered goalkeeper Pat Onstad) at least once. Great stuff. Joe Vide came on real late, but with too little time to get a fair reading.

The Thin Red Line: Three games, three clean sheets. The Red Bull backline and keeper Ronald Waterreus are stingier than Paulie Walnuts at the Best Western breakfast buffet. Freeman and Todd Dunivant allowed nothing ... zero ... zilch ... down the flanks, while Jeff Parke and Carlos Mendes were solid in the middle (full disclosure: we'd pencil in Stammler as a starter if it were our call.) Waterreus also displayed his much-heralded distribution skills, pumping balls up to Tall Drink of Water Dave Van den Bergh with accuracy and spraying the ball around to Richards and Altidore when Houston's Kelly Gray started man-marking the big Dutchman.

Ride With the Devil: Dema Kovalenko was demon on the night. The hard-charging 18-to-18 effort by the 29-year-old Ukrainian didn't directly contribute to the match-winning goal, but his indefatigable performance in the middle of the pitch was surely a key -- if not the key -- factor in the victory. Dema may not be racking up Fantasy Points, but he's shaping up as the most indispensable Red Bull of 2007.

Little Men Tate: Eight-year-old expert Leo (an EPL fanatic thanks to Fox Soccer Channel) summed up the Dynamo: "They're Bolton. They kick you and pull your shirt and throw you on the ground, and then when you take the ball off them, they dive (YouTube) and start crying to the ref. They're Bolton." Thank you, Leo, and now over to six-year-old expert, Deco, who questioned the officiating: "Why does the Ref hate the Red Bulls?" I don't know, Deco, I don't know.

Angel Joins Red Bull, Now What?

2007-04-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

For starters, the Red Bull needed to make room for the classy Colombian striker on the roster and Marvell Wynne was the odd man out, reuniting with Mo Johnston and struggling (on the field, that is, ticket sales are reportedly brisk) expansion squad Toronto FC.

Why Wynne? Let us count the reasons:

1) Ability: The No. 1 pick of the 2006 MLS Draft, Wynne is mad fast and extremely athletic. But as his dismal display in the season-opener at Columbus demonstrated, he has not progressed to the point where he can contribute to a team seriously considering a run at the MLS Cup. He simply couldn't keep attackers in front of him, and the Red Bull were lucky the Crew didn't score on any of the three times Wynne was totally undressed. Wynne may indeed put it all together, a la Kerry Zavagnin who blossomed after leaving MetroStars-Red Bull, but the time is now for Arena, Marc de Grandpre and Dieter Mateschitz. Let Mo develop Wynne. The Red Bull need wins now.

2) Team Spirit: Nothing fractures a locker room like a guy getting minutes based on reputation, draft status or marketing considerations instead of his on-the-field performance. Arena has already taken a few shots at his predecessor, "We played and looked like a pub team," why not buttress the point by sending a popular, high draft-pick of the former regime packing after a crap game? Ruthless competition for playing time and roster spots is a hallmark of championship teams.

3) Money: Wynne reportedly made $150,000 last year, a pretty big nut, comparatively, for a guy who couldn't keep Joseph Ngwenya from traipsing into the Red Bull box with impunity.

Whattabout the Lineup?

OK, with the short-term roster change prompted by the Angel acquisition complete, another situation which needs to be addressed is the starting lineup itself. Soccer By Ives has an interesting interactive exercise along these lines, and the thinking here is as follows:

1) Stay Calm: Lineups almost always work themselves out, so there's no need for hand-wringing at this point. True there are seven guys (Reyna, Kovalenko, Richards, Van den Bergh, Mathis, Altidore and Angel) and only six midfield-forward slots, with Markus Schopp and Mike Magee convalescing in the background. So what? Angel hasn't got his visa yet and Claudio's thigh is purpler than Prince's nurple. Why borrow trouble?

2) Depth: Should Angel and Claudio be available quickly (April 26 at Dallas, or May 5 at Utah?) it's all good. Depending on injuries, current form and tactical adjustments tailored to opponents, Arena will probably start a formation featuring Reyna, Dema, Van den Bergh, Mathis, Altidore and Angel, with Richards as a terrific Plan B and motivation for the Dutchman, the Cletus and the Kid (Jozy) to keep producing or find a seat on the bench.

3) Chemistry: Angel makes the players around him better by holding the ball up and unselfishly dishing to the open man. Mathis, as witnessed by Sunday's match, has similar passing qualities. Reyna has always been a great distributor of the ball. Altidore is a budding star (YouTube) in the classic striker mode and Richards is one of the fastest players in the league. Dema tackles and releases with uncommon quickness, while Van den Bergh, at least initially, seems committed to keeping the ball moving into open spaces. On paper, an impressive mix of talents, but the undefinable alchemy necessary for winning team chemistry can't be forced, or rushed.

More Angel-Related Links

Big Apple Soccer: Player reaction | Free transfer, big salary

Official Red Bull site: Angel quotes

It's Official: Red Bull Land Juan Pablo Angel

2007-04-17T11:22:00.000-05:00

UPDATE BELOW: Toronto FC, Mo Grab Marvell Wynne
Done deal. Juan Pablo Angel has signed with the Red Bull of Major League Soccer. We've already explained why we think this signing is fantastic, but listen to Angel, Bruce Arena and Jeff Agoos:

"I am delighted to be joining the New York Red Bulls," said Angel, age 31, who scored 62 goals in his six-year stint with Aston Villa and 45 goals for legendary Argentine club River Plate . "I cannot wait to start this new exciting challenge. I believe Major League Soccer is growing fast and I am very keen to be part of this."

"I am thrilled about acquiring Juan Pablo for the New York Red Bulls," said Arena, basking in the glow the blockbuster signing, especially when considering some of the lesser names bandied about the past few weeks. "It is no secret that we have been searching for a striker since the end of the 2006 season, and Juan Pablo has been at the top of my list since Day One."

"Juan Pablo has both the physical attributes and the intellect of a world class striker that will certainly help us become a better team," said Jeff Agoos, the oft-criticized, but ultimately successful point-man in the Red Bull Striker Hunt Sweepstakes. "He is a natural leader up front with the ability to finish plays off, which is something we have been looking for since the end of last season. We are extremely excited to bring a player of his caliber to the New York Red Bulls."

So there you have it. We'll post links below as they pop-up on the internet tubes (YouTube), especially those which try and ferret out the actual particulars of the deal (ie, when is Angel coming? how much did he cost? how long will he be staying? etc. etc). But for now the speculation is over and a squad featuring the versatile attacking talents of Claudio Reyna, Clint Mathis, Jozy Altidore, and now, Juan Pablo Angel, will soon be unleashed on MLS.

UPDATE: Soccer By Ives is reporting Marvell Wynne has been dealt to Mo Johnston and Toronto FC, as Bruce Arena continues to put his personal stamp on the Red Bull franchise.

Juan Pablo Angel to Red Bull of MLS Links Below:

Big Apple Soccer: Angel | Five Questions | Arena

Soccer By Ives: Nice new haircut | Who should start?

YouTube: Juan Pablo Angel Uploaded

Football.co.uk: Angel Exits Aston Villa

Soccernet: Martin O'Neill and Aston Villa

Major League Soccer's article | Official Red Bull release

Red Bull Rising: Why Angel Rumor Makes Sense | Deal Imminent

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 9

2007-04-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

It's a happy day in the Land of the Red Bull, as the Sports Gods have answered our prayers for an experienced, efficient striker with a Colombian Angel. In this spirit of celebration, our regularly scheduled Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods features the positive, wonderful side of The Beautiful Game.

Red Bull 3, FC Dallas 0 -- "Clint's a great player, so it's easy to play off of him. He has a great nose for the game and whenever he's around, you feel you can always put that one-touch ball to him and spin off," said teenage striker Jozy Altidore, who will be getting more one-touch passes than he can handle once Angel arrives and Reyna gets healthy.

FC Dallas 2, LA Galaxy 1 -- "We scored two great goals in the first half. In the second half we knew it would be a matter of standing up and staying calm against a forceful Galaxy attack and we did. Hats off to the defense for the way they stood up to it," said FC Dallas keeper Shaka Hislop, who probably kept his hat on after the Red Bull loss.

Columbus Crew 0, Real Salt Lake 0 -- "Freddy [Adu] played well. He was stuck playing a very good defender in Frankie Hejduk; the guy has played in two or three World Cups," said RSL Head Coach John Ellinger after his squad posted a second straight point off a draw.

KC Wizards 4, DC United 2 -- "Eddie [Johnson] and Scott [Sealy] were dangerous tonight. And I think we need to win every game we play because we're playing better than pretty much any team in the league," said Wizards captain Jimmy Conrad, challenging every other club in the league to try and beat the juggernaut from Kansas City.

NE Revolution 4, Toronto FC 0 -- Obviously (on the) the second [goal], it’s Rally (Ralston) and I doing what we do best, and Stevie (Ralston) played a dime. All I had to do was put it on goal … All 11 guys today were on the same page, and it showed," said Revolution striker Taylor Twellman, presumably keeping a straight face while referring to teammate Steve Ralston as "Rally."

Houston Dynamo 1, Chivas USA 0 -- "Brad Davis dropped in a good ball, and I was in the right place at the right time and headed it in. Brad serves in a good ball, and I was just trying to get free from my man and was able to put it in the back of the net," said Dynamo striker Brian Ching, describing (what else?) another headball goal.

Chicago Fire 1, Colorado Rapids 1 -- "We stuck to our plan, even after the red card, playing tight and compact. We wanted to choose our moments, maybe nick one and hold them and I think we did just that. It's unfortunate that (Chicago) scored that goal, but it's soccer and I think it shows our character coming back and playing a man down again a team like Chicago," said Rapids playmaker Herculez Gomez, after 10-man Colorado held Chicago to a draw.

Report: Angel to Red Bull Announcement Imminent

2007-04-17T09:21:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull are on a roll, ladies and gentlemen, as fresh on the heels of a terrific home-opening victory on Sunday, the club is about to sign Colombian striker Juan Pablo Angel (YouTube).

The Official Red Bull website currently refers to the acquisition of an unnamed player at 11 am ET, but Big Apple Soccer is once again all over the story with a published report confirming it is indeed Angel, the tricky, intelligent, potent forward from Aston Villa of the English Premier League. Villa boss Martin O'Neill chipped in with his blessing this morning, so it appears the Red Bull have made a giant leap toward challenging for an MLS championship this season. Yes, folks, Angel is that good. Stay tuned for official confirmation and links.

Perfect Storm: S.S. Red Bull Sinks FC Dallas

2007-04-16T14:49:00.000-05:00

A funny thing happened on the way to another bad week for the Red Bull -- Clint Mathis and Bruce Arena, two people with about as much in common as Don Imus and Vivian Stringer, got together and said "No Way!" Mathis, called into emergency playmaking action because of the absence of injured captain Claudio Reyna, delivered an alltime clutch performance. And Arena, faced with the prospect of an empty stadium, horrible weather and irritable fan base, devised a lineup and gameplan which couldn't have worked any better.

Inspired by Bruce and The Cletus, the Red Bull recorded a thorough, dominant 3-nil victory over FC Dallas at rain-soaked Giants Stadium on Sunday, and perhaps set a new standard for this renamed, new-fangled, star-crossed franchise.

On offense, Mathis was a revelation in "the hole," that mystical place between the midfielders and forwards where unconventional, fluid, creative players go to work their magic. Jozy Altidore, the lone striker with John Wolyniec mercifully benched, flourished up top, deftly converting a nifty Mathis corner for the first Red Bull goal. Newbie Dane Richards jetted up and down the right flank with verve and purpose, assisting Mathis on the second Red Bull tally, and Dave Van den Bergh was rewarded for his hard work on the left with an injury-time score to complete the rout.

The Mathis-for-Wolyniec move will understandably get more attention, but the inclusion of Hunter Freeman at the expense of Marvell Wynne was a master stroke by Arena. Freeman's steady positioning on the right allowed Richards the freedom to do his thing on the wing, and the rookie improved greatly on his Columbus performance, causing Dallas all kinds of problems throughout the game. An added benefit of the Wynne benching is the signal it sends to the squad: Play as bad as Marvell did last week and you will sit. Period.

Defensively, Carlos Mendes joined Jeff Parke at center fullback, with Seth Stammler in the defensive midfield role and Dema Kovalenko slotting into the Claudio spot. All four did fine work shutting down the Dallas Big Two -- Carlos Ruiz and Kenny Cooper -- while Todd Dunivant and the aforementioned Freeman were stellar on the flanks.

For Dallas, there's not much to say. Granted, they just flew in from LA on Friday, but Ruiz and Cooper had very few touches and the team as a whole seemed overwhelmed by the horrible conditions and didn't come close to matching the Red Bull intensity.

Why Angel To Red Bull Rumor Makes Sense

2007-04-13T11:23:00.000-05:00

The speculation surrounding a Big Splash International DP signing by the Red Bull of Major League Soccer has been fevered and largely fantastical. Ronaldo. Zidane. Figo. There's also been some more realistic (if not advisable) rumors, like Delgado, Salas and Edmundo. But the latest report via Big Apple Soccer and the Manchester Guardian that Aston Villa's Colombian striker Juan Pablo Angel may be headed to the Red Bull, soccer-wise at least, makes a helluva lotta sense.

1) He's not too old. Angel is 31 but not yet showing the telltale signs of an aging, washed up athlete. His skills, vision, creativity and intelligence around the goal are still functioning on a high-level.

2) Villa don't want him. Martin O'Neill will surely be cleaning house after this, his first full season at Villa Park, and with massive target-man John Carew starting well (YouTube) and local youngsters Gabriel Agbonlahor and Luke Moore (both Birmingham boys) demanding playing time, Angel is surplus to requirements.

3) His style fits MLS. Angel's 58 goals in six seasons with Villa have been scored against high-pressure, physical defending, the defining characteristic of MLS backlines (except the EPL is still much better). Juan Pablo is accustomed to holding the ball up and passing to overlapping midfielders/wingers as well as taking on defenders himself (YouTube) and sticking the ball in the back of the net.

Granted, financial and league-office considerations will make this deal difficult to close, and this is the umpteenth rumor of the year, but unlike many of the previous whispers, Juan Pablo Angel joining The Red Bull on the field of play, with the current roster of potential teammates isn't Silly Talk, but actually Smart Thinking.

Brazilian Animal Edmundo To Run With Red Bull?

2007-04-12T13:02:00.000-05:00

The South American wild striker hunt has taken another turn as Brazilian forward/madman Edmundo is the latest player linked to The Red Bull of Major League Soccer. For those keeping score at home, the targets have been Ronaldo-Rivaldo-Delgado-Angel-Salas and now it's Edmundo, the man dubbed The Animal by those who know him best.

Edmundo is 36, has changed clubs 17 times, has more bridge-burning experience than Bill Holden and is fond of monkeys. On the plus side, he can score goals, including 30 for his current team, Palmeiras (Brazil) since 2006. Did we mention he was 36? As always, things are sketchy, but rumor has it The Red Bull may be able to land him on the cheap (ala The Cletus) and short-term, perhaps without even clogging up a DP slot. Stay tuned.

Speaking of The Cletus, Soccernet has an interesting story here.

In case you missed it, MetroFanatic has a terrific piece on Markus Schopp's sports hernia injury, a malady which has relentlessly haunted the MetroStars-Red Bull here.

Soccer By Ives chronicles the tug-of-war over Clifton, NJ's Tedd Niziolek here.

Argentine Carlos Marinelli has signed with KC Wizards. Check out the MLSnet release here.

And last but not least, Sports Bog looks at five DC United rookies playing house here. (hat tip to du Nord)

Boca's Barros Schelotto Considering New Crew

2007-04-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

Argentine Boca Juniors legend Guillermo Barros Schelotto may be headed to Major League Soccer's Columbus Crew, according to the Columbus Dispatch. Barros Schelotto has scored 87 goals and won 15-championships in his illustrious 10-year Boca career which is reportedly winding down with the emergence of younger players Martin Palermo and Rodrigo Palacio (hat tip to Soccer Legends).

"I really can't comment until we have some signed documents in hand," Crew coach Sigi Schmid told The Dispatch. "We think the experience he has and his character, if he is in fact a player we (sign), would be good for us." Ya think?

GBS (if he does indeed come to MLS, there is no way in Hades we're gonna keep typing out Guillermo Barros Schelotto, so let's try this for now, see how it works. *update below) is affectionately known as El Mellizo, The Twin, for obvious reasons, making him the most beloved Twin in Argentina, edging out two upstanding American siblings who recently took the country by storm.

YouTube (what else?) has video of GBS here, here and here.

MLS Underground published a fan email which captures the passionate feelings toward GBS in Argentina. If a fraction of that enthusiasm can be transplanted to Columbus and MLS, sparked by inspiring, creative on-the-field excellence, this is a very welcome development.

*Update: Noting the usage of "Guille," which is better than our lame GBS. We'll act accordingly.

Fellow Argentine Pablo Ricchetti signed with FC Dallas awhile ago and despite early confidence he would be playing by Opening Day, visa and league issues (h/t FC Dallas Updates) are still being hammered out and Ricchetti doesn't even appear on the Dallas website's team roster. So Guille's actual arrival date, in addition to the official consummation of the transfer, is not yet set in stone.

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 8

2007-04-10T09:32:00.000-05:00

The internet tubes are chock-full of keyboard strikers pontificating on Week One of the 2007 Major League Soccer season (present company included), so howabout we mix it up a bit and check out the commentary directly from the Horse's Mouths?

Red Bull 0, Crew 0 -- "To be honest it was really sore and its completely swollen up now. It wasn't ideal," said Red Bull captain Claudio Reyna after crumbling to the pitch in a lump, courtesy of newbie Dane Richards' hardest tackle of the night, which unfortunately felled one of the guys in blue shirts, not yellow. "It's disappointing, but I think in four or five days it should be OK." Reassured much folks?

Fire 1, Revolution 0 -- "It's the same old, same old. MLS and the Revolution have closed the door," said disgruntled hardman Shalrie Joseph prior to missing New England's first game with a "calf strain." Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. "They don't want to talk anymore about contract stuff with me ... I was really hoping it would work out well where I would sign a long-term contract and finish my career here. But that wasn't possible ... They don't value my services." It didn't take a genius to see this one coming, did it?

FC Dallas 2, Real Salt Lake 2 -- "It was unlucky," said Real goalkeeper Nick Rimando after his howler gifted Dallas an undeserved draw and caused almost as much drama in Utah since Bill Paxton and Jeanne Tripplehorn arrived.

Chivas USA 2, Toronto FC 0 -- "We should have ended up winning. We had five chances to put it in the back of the net. There's five goals and it's 5-0 at halftime," said Toronto FC defender Jim Brennan, struggling hard not to strain his back while tossing Edson Buddle and Alecko Eskandarian under the bus.

Rapids 2, DC United 1 -- "The field's enormous," said Rapids midfielder Herculez Gomez, once and for all putting to rest the debate over whether or not Size Matters at Dick's Park in Colorado. "We kept moving around, we had players in the midfield, we got players in the back, spray the ball around wide, go through the middle. So it's definitely to our advantage."

Galaxy 0, Dynamo 0 -- "Once I see Dwayne De Rosario and those guys on the other side my blood boils," said LA's Peter Vagenas, debunking the Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Theory.

Speaking of Vagenas, did you see Eric Wynalda's anatomically graphic proposition of shock-jock-turned-jackass-TV-personality Jim Rome? Sheesh. Not that there's anything wrong with that (YouTube), but c'mon guys, rent a room and leave us out of it. When not shamelessly courting Rome, Wynalda seems oddly fixated on Landon Donovan. "I don’t know if getting married is going to help him," said Dr. Phil ...er... Wynalda. "But he has already been in a situation where I think a lot of the decisions he has been making have been about his personal life, about being happy, about being where he needs to be." Memo to Eric: Less Deepak Chopra and more Christian Gomez.

Speaking of talking out of your ...er... well, you know, here's the latest on the Colorado Rapids-Arsenal saga:

"At this point, there is no interest or intention from KSE in buying any shares or any pieces of Arsenal Football Club or any club in the English Premier League," -- Jurgen Mainka, Official Mouthpiece, Colorado Rapids, denying reports KSE would purchase ITV's 9.9 percent stake in Arsenal, exactly ten days before KSE did indeed buy the British Broadcaster's shares in the Gooners. Evidently, Mainka's initial statement, the emphatic denial, is no longer operative.

Red Bull Grab Ice-Cold Point In Season Opener

2007-04-07T20:57:00.000-05:00

Well, they didn't lose. The Red Bull kicked off the 2007 season in rather inauspicious fashion on Saturday night, holding Columbus to a scoreless draw before an announced crowd of 13,782 hearty and frigid souls at snowy, frosty Crew Stadium. Considering the Crew dominated most of the second half, including hitting the woodwork behind goalkeeper Ronald Waterreus, the Red Bull should be happy with the point gained and focus on what worked -- and what didn't -- in preparation for the home-opener on Sunday, April 15 versus FC Dallas at the Meadowlands.

So, what conclusions can be drawn from a nil-nil draw?

Defensively, the Red Bull were shaky but ultimately held on. Waterreus made two splendid saves, but needlessy bobbled an easy ball which easily could've resulted in a Crew goal and half-heartedly waved at Ned Grabavoy's 87th minute shot which rattled off the upright. Seth Stammler, Carlos Mendes and Todd Dunivant were solid, if unspectacular, while Marvell Wynne was totally torched several times, including twice by Joseph Ngwenya on the exact same inside-out move, cutting from the left wing into the box.

On the plus side, Dema Kovalenko and Claudio Reyna were terrific breaking up Crew forays into the Red Bull third of the pitch and have already established an intuitive relationship in the defensive midfield. Dave van den Bergh showed flashes of offensive intelligence and ability, but the early struggles of youngster Jozy Altidore and veteran John Wolyniec up top and newbie Dan Richards out wide left him with few options and precious little opportunity for connecting play.

Altidore's match can be summed up in one play, where his first touch failed him miserably in the Crew box, as a ball at his feet was played up over his head into the path of two Columbus defenders. Jozy then justified his slot in the starting lineup by promptly turning the two defenders, lowering his left shoulder to gain a yard of space and firing a great shot which flashed across the goalmouth past the keeper and just wide of the far post. Wolyniec, on the other hand, seemed to age before our eyes as the match progressed, getting slower and slower and grayer and grayer until the mercy of the final whistle. The effort and industry in the box are there, but this match proved nothing if not that Wolyniec can best serve the club coming off the bench rather than starting. Richards unleashed his blazing speed a few times, but to little actual effect. If his touches and ability to hold the ball don't improve, and Markus Schoop is destined for an extended stay on the injured list, the Red Bull will need an upgrade on the wing.

A slightly pudgy-looking Clint Mathis came on in the 61st minute and his touches were true and his passes were sharp. If fitness allows, The Cletus should be installed in the Red Bull starting lineup quickly, perhaps even next Sunday. Sinisa Ubiparipovic came on late and didn't make any glaring errors in his first Major League Soccer action.

On the Crew side, Frankie Hejduk was all over the field and rarely out of position, Eddie Gaven was protective of the ball while confident enough to make incisive, positive, attacking decisions and Grabavoy did enough dirty work in the middle of the pitch for two players. Like the Red Bull, however, it's hard to get a solid read on Columbus due to the windy, freezing temperatures and stolid, choppy nature of the game itself. Either both teams are pretty good, or both are lousy. Or they were just cold. We shall see as the season progresses.

Red Bull Saturday Night Chillin' Wit Da Crew

2007-04-07T10:22:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull kick off their 2007 season at the Columbus Crew tonight, and you can check out various previews here, here and here. But the crucial game information is contained in the weather report, which currently calls for SNOW and a windchill factor around 15-17-degrees, and yes folks, that's Fahrenheit, not Celsius. So as you hit the couch this evening for the Big Game, with your favorite beverages and snacks, raise a glass to tonight's participants at Crew Stadium -- players and supporters alike -- who will be freezing their fannies off for club, country, glory and The Beautiful Game.

Trialist Toure Departs Red Bull, Returns to Thunder

2007-04-06T09:41:00.000-05:00

Word out of St. Paul is that forward Ansu Toure has left the Red Bull and is returning to the Minnesota Thunder of the USL First Division. Toure had impressed the Red Bull staff early in his two month tryout, but the continuing emergence of neophyte Jozy Altidore, the re-acquisition of controversial striker Clint Mathis and the potential signing of a Big Shot Designated Player (Angel? Salas? Zidane? Berger? Fowler?) has apparently made Toure surplus to requirements with the Major League Soccer club.

High Drama as Last Gasp Pachuca Edge Dynamo

2007-04-06T00:27:00.000-05:00

Superior speed, strength and skill, combined with shoddy officiating and a wonderfully raucous home crowd advantage, drove Mexican club Pachuca to a thrilling 5-4 OT aggregate victory over a game, but ultimately outgunned Houston Dynamo in the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinals on Thursday night at Estadio Hidalgo.

The CCC Finals will now be an All-Mexican affair, pitting Pachuca vs. Chivas of Guadalajara, who dispatched DC United on Tuesday as both Major League Soccer squads fell just short of their rivals South of the Border in the semifinal round despite encouraging results in the US-hosted first-leg matches.

Houston showed real spirit after falling behind quickly 2-nil (thanks to a clearly offside opening goal and a soft PK) with Brian Mullan scoring off a neat Brian Ching to Dwayne DeRosario connection. Another trademark header from Ching appeared to secure the Dynamo's passage into the Finals in the 79th minute, despite a second questionable PK call and conversion for Pachuca, but the Mexican club, sparked by the brilliant Christian Gimenez, would not be denied. The Tuzos knotted the tie at the close of regulation, forcing OT, where Gimenez completed his hat trick with an inspired left-footed screamer past a helpless Zach Wells.

The end result, 5-2 on the night for Pachuca, will surely lead to gloating on the Mexican side and some overwrought hand-wringing in the United States. Neither should get too carried away. Pachuca are clearly a better side, and yet, required a gargantuan effort to get past Houston. The message from this matchup, and the DC-Chivas clash, is unmistakable: MLS clubs are gaining on their Mexican cousins. For fans on both sides of the Rio Grande, this is a terrific development, as the drama and spectacle fifty miles east of Mexico City and 7,960 feet above sea level was something to behold. North American professional club soccer has truly reached new heights.

Bittersweet Butterfingers in Guadalajara

2007-04-04T01:14:00.000-05:00

It was always going to be difficult for DC United to hang with Chivas on Tuesday night. Despite the first-leg success MLS clubs had against their Mexican counterparts in the CONCACAF Champions Cup Semifinals, accomplishing the same result in the hostile environment South of the Border was an entirely different proposition -- possible, yes, but not likely. And once Gonzalo Pineda's routine shot slipped through DC goalkeeper Troy Perkins fingers for a 2-1 Chivas lead, the difficult became impossible, as United bowed out of the competition.

Chivas wasn't dominant by any means, but for DC to book passage into the CCC Finals the same grit, determination and grace under pressure employed at RFK was needed in Guadalajara, in addition to the avoidance of the Big Mistake, a blunder which, on the road especially, results in defeat. To their credit, United came up with the former, but unfortunately they also allowed the latter. As the 2007 MLS season approaches, DC is playing quick, attractive, attacking soccer with flair on offense and bite, if not consistency, in the back. Christian Gomez, Luciano Emilio and Jaime Moreno knocked the ball around with an uncanny familiarity which should give pause to MLS defenses.

If defending Major League Soccer champs Houston Dynamo were overconfident going into the other second-leg semifinal match on Thursday in Pachuca (8:30 ET, FoxSoccerChannel), United's hard luck may not have been in vain. Despite a two-goal aggregate lead, the Dynamo now know they will need to be extremely sharp in the high-altitude of Pachuca's Estadio Hidalgo. While they're at it, they better stay clear of The Big Mistake.

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 7

2007-04-03T15:04:00.000-05:00

Initiatives, and their radical cousins, Mission Statements and Manifestos, are usually a bunch of bunk guys in suits toss out in a futile attempt to convince the masses/plebes that they "feel your pain" and "share your passion." But you gotta hand it to MLS this time, the "Game First" changes released yesterday are pretty darn good.

Here's a quick breakdown:

Hat Tricks:
The Game Presentation fixes are spot on, like an Ante Razov PK. For too long, players have taken the field in a haphazard manner, three or four guys now, one later, here comes another three guys. Oh, wait, there's some guys from the other team. No more. Coming out single file, next to the opposition and behind the ref sets the a proper, respectful tone for task at hand, a hard-fought professional soccer match that fans paid good money to watch.

Until we've actually heard it, we'll reserve judgement on the anthem recorded in the Czech Republic for some reason (perhaps Patrik Berger's sister plays violin and they figured, hey, any little edge in getting Patty over here, let's try it). Speaking of hearing, cutting back on the PA announcements is as brilliant as the shine off Matt Reis's bald head. PA intrusions are an ugly, ever-expanding blot on the American Sports landscape and it's terrific that MLS is bucking the trend in order to provide an improved atmosphere in their stadia.

Goals:
The Designated Player Rule is a no-brainer. David Beckham and Claudio Reyna are very good professional soccer players who are now (or will be very soon) playing in Major League Soccer. 'Nuff said. The Youth Development and Transfer Fee advancements are also moves in the right direction. Clubs who locate and nurture local talent should get first dibs on signing the player and get the lion's share of any financial windfall should he end up transferring to Europe.

The SuperLiga structure looks good, and the MLS Cup Champ and the Supporters Shield Winner gaining entry to the CONCACAF Champions Cup is another strong idea. This way, should a hot team streak through the MLS playoffs, there is still some cover provided by rewarding the winningest team during the regular season. The new MLS playoff setup is another solid idea, where the best teams make the playoffs, not the fourth best team in a crap conference.

As far as the Officiating changes go, we're down with yellows for diving and for the petty, unsportsmanlike wave an imaginary card to try and get the ref to show a real one nonsense.

Yellow Card Cautions:
The South American consultant is OK, we guess, but will any efforts be made to import the great things about South American soccer, the skill, creativity, vision and passion, while avoiding some of the unsavory aspects, like diving, surrounding the ref and screaming at him, and time-wasting?

Increased access to locker rooms and sideline interviews for national broadcast partners is a good idea on paper. Unless it means more forced, "controversial" bon mots and rants from Eric Wynalda, a bright well-spoken guy who desperately needs a TV producer with the stones to say, "Um...don't do that," every now and then. Despite what the suits in Bristol think, MLS doesn't need a huckster Dick Vitale-type or a snarky, so-hip-he-can-hula Stuart Scott wannabe. If, on the other hand, the improved access results in someone like Julie Foudy doing her thing, which is asking pertinent, insightful questions about the game, or some pre-determined featurish spot, then it's all good.

Which leaves us with Strategic Relationships, and full disclosure here, we're extremely suspicious about this stuff. Until we hear actual concrete reasons and goals for these partnerships, as opposed to lame spin and dubious Office Space-like corporate jargon about how "to glean the best applicable practices" and "maximize connectivity to the global soccer marketplace" our default position is they're really just blowin' smoke up our nether-regions and embarking on some scheme we'd all really hate. Other than that, I guess it's OK.

Speaking of Wynalda, one of his old Team USA compatriots, Tony Meola, got a few things off his chest via Big Apple Soccer. Tony discussed his Red Bull exit, dished on front office intrigue and shared his views on retirement. His comments on how LA handled Cobi Jones' swansong, as opposed to the breakups between the MetroStars-Red Bull and Tab Ramos and Meola himself hit home. In time, the Red Bull would do well to reach out to both ex-players as the organization could certainly benefit from their wealth of experience in American soccer.

Click here for MLSnet.com's Red Bull 2007 preview. And click here for another excellent SI.com photo gallery.

PS. We know it's late, but it's gotta be morning somewhere.

It's Not Personal, Sonny. It's Strictly Business

2007-04-02T00:03:00.000-05:00

Clint Mathis is quite a personality. The red-clay of Georgia upbringing, the hideous excuse for a Mohawk, the check-the-Timex taunting of his tardy Teutonic taskmaster. The Red Bull acquisition of The Cletus, however, is, as Michael Corleone calmly explained to his hot-headed big brother, not personal. It's strictly business.

The Red Bull is slated to kick off the 2007 season in six days with Jozy Altidore, John Wolyniec and Dave van den Bergh the options at forward, putting aside the various attacking midfielders and newbies/draftees trying to crack the lineup. Nothing against those players, but any club seriously harboring any hope at all of making the playoffs must have at least one striker on hand who has ...er... scored lots of goals. Mathis has found the back of the net 53 times in his 184-game MLS career, many of those in the Meadowlands.

Granted, The Cletus has evidently deposited more Cheetos down his ever-expanding gub than balls past goalkeepers recently, and his fitness regimen is probably more John Daly than Lance Armstrong. Early reviews of Clint Redux include the following raves: Disaster. Laughable. Bruce Arena, however, thinks it's worth a shot, which brings us back to business.

According to The Denver Post (hat tip to Soccer by Ives) Real Salt Lake is on the hook for most of Clint's 2007 salary, with the Rapids chipping in a few bucks, leaving the Red Bull only about $100K out of pocket for the deal. Compared to whatever the other supposed options were -- Zidane demanding Beckham money, Juan Pablo Angel asking for over $2Mil, Mo Johnston apparently seeking way too much for Eski -- this is a daring, but prudent piece of business, which doesn't preclude a Big Splash DP signing in the immediate future. The latest rumor is Chilean firebrand Marcelo Salas (h/t MetroFanatic). Worst case, The Cletus bombs and The Red Bull drop some chump change while maintaining a healthy cap number. Best case, well, who knows? But don't be surprised if Mathis is energized by the change of scenery and his return to the Big Stage.

Speaking of Salas, another guy who was great 10 years ago and is now looking for a final financial score while chillin' in America and not bothering to play hard, Blanco has signed with the Chicago Fire.

Red Bull March Out Like a Lamb

2007-04-01T21:43:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull preseason record went flatter than ginger ale left out on the sun porch this week, with losses to Toronto FC and defending MLS Champion Houston Dynamo in South Carolina providing more than a bit of anxiety as the season opener beckons on Saturday in Columbus.

Local starlet Alecko Eskandarian and former Red Bull Edson Buddle did the honors for Toronto in a 2-1 victory on Wednesday, while a Brian Ching header (what else?) coupled with an Alejandro Moreno winner gave Houston an identical 2-1 scoreline over the Red Bull on Saturday night. Dave van den Bergh opened the scoring against Houston and John Wolyniec found the net against Toronto, as the Red Bull finished the games that don't count with a mediocre 5-3-4 record after a promising start in Florida.

Prodigal Son Clint Mathis Returns to Red Bull

2007-03-30T07:50:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull, desperate for a striker with the proven ability to find the back of the net in MLS play, reacquired mercurial forward Clint Mathis from the Colorado Rapids.

With the season kicking off in a week, this deal, initially at least, could be seen as a panic move. We'll revisit this subject -- and much more -- over the weekend (when we've returned from our internet access deprived vacation).

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 6

2007-03-27T00:05:00.000-05:00

Things are continuing apace in the Land of the Red Bull. Five newbies have signed contracts: 2007 SuperDraftees Dane Richards and Sinisa Ubiparipovic (dang, spelling challenge), and three 2007 Supplementals with local connections, Randi Patterson (Teaneck, NJ) Sal Caccavale (West Islip, NY), and Danny Ceparo (Baldwin, NY).

Here's a barrage of Bullet Points:

Dema Kovalenko scored in 1-nil win over Charleston Battery

March Madness: Reserves draw with Duke

From Big Apple Soccer Dave van den Bergh is goin' green

Kroenke winking in Arsenal's direction again

Editor's Note: Light posting due to Vacation/Less Than Perfect Internet Access

Two Tough: Donovan, Bradley Make Their Case

2007-03-26T19:04:00.000-05:00

One supposedly needs to win over fickle fans. The other is apparently Plan B for US Soccer Bosses. On Sunday, Landon Donovan and Bob Bradley answered their critics emphatically, and more importantly, showed their fellow US National Team members how to face adversity off the field and deliver where it counts -- on the pitch.

Certainly there were many key contributors in the 3-1 victory over Ecuador before 31,000 at Raymond James Stadium -- a gutty Brian Ching and inspiring newbies Benny Feilhaber and the Coach's Kid among them -- but it was Donovan, wearing the captain's armband and the hoary memory of World Cup 2006 with steely resolve, and Bradley, somehow managing to look dignified on the sidelines despite the increasingly shoddy treatment and working conditions he's endured, who led the way on Sunday. Big time.

This bodes well, not only for Donovan and Bradley, but for all fans of US Soccer. Despite the naysayers, these two guys are both very good at their jobs. And their teammates know it. So when they go out and beat a tough South American side so completely, this reinforces their faith in their captain and their coach, even if that faith is not forthcoming from others. And bonds like that are strong. Just like Donovan and Bradley.

Red Bull Sign...Er...A Fullback

2007-03-23T10:36:00.000-05:00

There's some good news and some bad news coming out of Red Bull camp after the anticlimactic Media Day announcements (we'll get to those later). The good news is, the Red Bull have made a trade. The bad news is it's for fullback Hunter Freeman (hat tip to Soccer by Ives for original report), not the striker with a proven track record of scoring goals at a top level the Red Bull desperately covet.

Nothing against Freeman, who could provide cover should Marvell Wynne and/or Todd Dunivant be drafted into US National Team duty this summer, but the Search for a Goalscorer (h/t Big Apple Soccer) is certainly a higher priority with the season scheduled to kick-off in two weeks and youngster Jozy Altidore, veteran supersub-type John Wolyniec and various trialists, newbies, draftees and attacking midfielders comprising the sum total of Red Bull scoring options.

Media Day was limited to 1) a TV Deal with MSG short on specifics and long on hyberbole, 2) a sponsorship partnership deal with adidas and a healthcare company and 3) various and sundry public relations jive.

On the plus side, MetroFanatic kicked serious butt with their coverage, featuring excellent Q&A's and headshots of several players, including Claudio Reyna, Dema Kovalenko, Marvell Wynne and Jozy Altidore. Check it out, fantastic... er ... fanatic stuff.

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 5

2007-03-20T11:54:00.000-05:00

Dog Pile on the Rabbit! Dog Pile on the Rabbit! One of the greatest films ever made, A Hare Grows in Manhattan, contains a scene where our hero, Bugs Bunny, is set upon by a group of snarling dogs, who all jump on top of our beleaguered protagonist, exclaiming "Dog pile on the rabbit! Dog pile on the rabbit!" Well, this past week was an off-the-field Dog Pile on the Red Bull Extravaganza.

Ives Galarcep kicked it off with a column, citing unnamed sources, which claimed the Red Bull lost $14 million last year. Ives then blogged about the rather obtuse response from Red Bull Managing Director Marc de Grandpre. Soccernet chipped in with their version of de Grandpre's comments. as did Big Apple Soccer, who managed to get the Red Bull Front Office Honcho to correspond via email. Big Apple Soccer also reported the Red Bull thought its TV broadcasts of road games didn't actually need announcers at the match, but could be handled via monitors back home in New York. Not good.

Two points:

1) Ives and Michael Lewis have been doing great work on the local soccer beat for a very long time. It's their job to cover both on the field and off the field news, and the exposure of bad news or shady dealings is good for the Red Bull and Major League Soccer. Justice Brandeis was correct. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. These guys bring it.

2) The Red Bull Corporation in general and de Grandpre in particular (all that's missing with this guy is the twirling moustache) came in last year and basically blew the whole place up. That inevitably results in hard feelings. But feelings aside, let's see how the season shakes out and the move to Red Bull Park in Harrison, NJ progresses before getting hysterical. The arrival of Bruce Arena, the construction of a terrific new soccer-specific stadium and the infusion of capital (how many other MLS owners have voluntarily splashed out $14 Mil in one year?) could very well result in The Rise of the Red Bull.

Hat Tip to The Offside Rules for alerting us to this San Diego Union-Trib article highlighting Qualcomm Stadium's mad soccer jones due to popular demand in Southern California. You stay classy, San Diego!

Interim US National Team Head Coach Bob Bradley (Man, when will we be able to stop typing interim? Enough is enough. Sunil, you listenin'?) announced his training squad for the upcoming friendlies against Ecuador and Guatemala.

David Beckham Update: Becks gets lotsa love on the internet tubes.

The US Women's Nats won the 2007 Algarve Cup. You go girls!

Cobi Jones is hanging 'em up after this season.

Straight Outta Brooklyn, And MLS?

2007-03-19T02:20:00.000-05:00

Brooklyn's in the house. But perhaps not for long. New England Revolution captain and resident hardman, Shalrie Joseph is either as fiery a negotiator as he is a midfielder, or he wants out of New England and maybe Major League Soccer altogether.

The Brooklynite by way of Grenada kept it real with the Boston Globe stating, "I have been patient and I have been the good boy they wanted me to be, but I can't wait any more." Joseph's agent then provided the gory financial details before signing off with some good old-fashioned finger-pointing for those keeping score at home. "I have talked to Sunil [Gulati, president of Kraft Soccer] and Mike Burns [Revolution director of soccer] and requested to talk to Jonathan Kraft, but was denied."

Interesting strategy, calling out the Bosses in the newspapers. There are three possible reasons for Joseph to play Meet the Press with the season fast approaching: 1) He wants the Krafts to cough up the money (his agent specifically mentioned Chicago's Chris Armas, who makes $325,000 per year, over three years), 2) He wants MLS to find him another team who will give him the "Armas Money," or 3) He wants MLS to trade him to Glasgow Celtic, who The Globe report offered $2 million for the former St. John's University star.

Joseph is a charismatic, physical, crowd-pleasing All-Star, much like former teammate Clint Dempsey, who is now plying his trade with Brian McBride and Carlos Bocanegra at Fulham in the EPL. The Krafts of New England, however, don't get too attached to their players. Even Patriots. Unless of course, you're a Super Bowl-winning QB willing to restructure your contract to help the team stay under the salary cap, when you're not impregnating impossibly beautiful women. Then, they love you.

Back to Joseph. Here's hoping he re-signs with MLS, at New England or not. Anybody who can cover as much ground on the pitch as he does, while having the local press on speed dial during contract negotiations, is our kind of player.

"A Short Saying Oft Contains Much Wisdom"Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)

2007-03-17T00:10:00.000-05:00

"That's our reward, to play at the highest elevation in Mexico." -- Dominic Kinnear, Houston Dynamo Coach/Avid Mountain Climber, relishing his upcoming trip to Pachuca's Estadio Hidalgo, which sits a mere 7,960 feet above sea level.

"Now we know how they play; they're a dangerous team. But I think in Pachuca we can make things right." -- Enrique Meza, Pachuca Coach/Tactical Genius, belatedly realizing the MLS Champs were a dangerous team.

"Things were a little chippy." -- Ben Olsen, DC United Midfielder/Provocateur describing the action at RFK Thursday night against Chivas Guadalajara.

"EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!!!!!!" -- Entire, Enraged Chivas Squad, expressing their displeasure with Bearded Ben after the match.

"I don't go a day or two without talking to Freddy (Adu), Danny (Szetela) or Timmy Ward. We all know it's going to be a challenge." -- Michael Bradley, US U-20 Midfielder, demonstrating team spirit and maturity when discussing this summer's U-20 World Cup Finals.

"It would be an honor to work in a club like Real Madrid." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea Manager, demonstrating appalling disloyalty and puerile narcissism when discussing this summer's The Apprentice: Bernabéu debacle. Red Bull Rising Reminder: Fredo's goin' fishin'.

"We want to help MLS increase the interest in soccer overall because if the interest in soccer increases, then interest in leagues like the Bundesliga increases." -- Christian Seifert, Bundesliga CEO, efficiently gets to the bottom line of the MLS-Bundesliga partnership.

"Franz is the one who has brought us together and had this overall concept," -- Ivan Gazidis, MLS Deputy Commish, painfully name-drops Der Kaiser at the Miami Beach press conference.

Speaking of beaches (see how I did that?):

"We can give them a beach-head in the United States." -- Jeff Plush, Colorado Rapids Managing Director, on what Arsenal gains from the historic Gooner-Rapids partnership.

"This injury isn't down to my age. It's the number of games played that causes injury. Look at (Franck) Ribery, (Claude) Makelele, (William) Gallas, (Patrick) Viera, they are all injured. Even Ronaldinho is 'dead'. Same for Deco. Or (Steven) Gerrard. This is not the great, the real Gerrard (this season). The players doing well now are those who played less last season." -- Thierry Henry, Exhausted Gunner, more concerned with the ridiculous fixture overload damaging the world's best players than the heretofore mystical, hidden beaches of Commerce City, Colorado.

"New players are not expected to be shrinking violets, but neither are they supposed to throw themselves around like big-time Charlies." -- Unnamed Source, England National Team, throwing recently arrested Citeh midfielder Joey Barton under a double-decker bus.

"Managers may hate penalty shoot-outs but fans love them." -- Brian Mawhinney, Chairman English Football League, considering replacing draws with penalty kicks or shootouts a la the current NHL and former NASL.

"I would walk back from the United States to play for England again." -- David Beckham, Needs No Modifier, confirming he can indeed walk on water.

"I just hope he buys dinner a few times." -- Chris Albright, Future Becks Teammate, attempting to lower the expectations just a bit.

And in celebration of St. Paddy's Day, this old chestnut from the Greatest Oirish Soccer Player Ever:

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." -- Georgey Best

MLS Grit Trumps Mexican Guile

2007-03-16T01:50:00.000-05:00

Major League Soccer staked a claim to international respectability on Thursday night as the Houston Dynamo blanked defending Copa Nissan Sudamericana Champion Pachuca 2-nil and DC United stunned 11-time Mexican League Champion CD Guadalajara (Chivas) with an extra-time equalizer for a 1-1 draw in the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinals. Houston now holds a two-goal lead going into the return match at Pachuca on April 5, while DC heads to Guadalajara on April 3 all even with Chivas.

As significant as the results themselves are -- prior to tonight MLS teams were 1-7 against Mexican opponents in CCC competition since 2002 -- the fire, intensity and toughness of the American clubs was even more impressive. Houston did not have a great game, by any means, but despite defensive lapses and periods of frustrating ineptness, the Dynamo kept their cool in the face of withering, albeit predictable, Mexican "gamesmanship" and fought for every yard of Robertson Stadium. Eventually, it paid off as Brian Ching opened the scoring with his signature play -- a well-placed headball goal -- before substitute Chris Wondolowski iced the match at the end. Pachuca, for their part, whined like over-tired toddlers at Chuck-E-Cheese.

DC's performance was a classic smash-and-grab job. Chivas dictated the tempo, came in studs high and defended like demons in their own third. Most teams would've accepted defeat when Omar Bravo's rather pedestrian header ricocheted into the net in the 63rd minute, but United, to their credit, are not most teams. In a sequence that summed up the night -- and the crucial, defining difference between the MLS and Mexican clubs -- Ben Olsen repelled a Luche Libre-style tackle/mugging and refused to be be baited into a retaliatory foul call to earn a free kick just outside of the Chivas box on the right. While Chivas continued jawing with Bearded Ben, Christian Gomez took his one chance of the evening with aplomb, placing the ball right onto the head of newbie Luciano Emilio for a game-tying goal which set off a frenzied celebration at RFK Stadium.

So there you have it. The Dynamo and DC were stronger, mentally and physically, on the night. And if they can overcome what promises to be even worse behavior in two weeks (hopefully without the benefit of hometown officiating) they can close the deal. They can both reach the CONCACAF Champions Cup Finals. And that, my friends would be a major accomplishment for Major League Soccer.

Red Bull Check Out of Hotel California

2007-03-15T00:27:00.000-05:00

Yet another tie for the Red Bull in LA, this time a 2-2 draw against former captain Amado Guevara and Chivas USA at the Home Depot Center. Highlights for the Red Bull include a strong game by new captain Claudio Reyna, who played the full 90 minutes, assisted on the first goal and orchestrated two more gilt-edged chances. Todd Dunivant converted Reyna's corner for the first Red Bull tally and youngster Jozy Altidore bundled home a Marvell Wynne cross for the game-tying score.

According to the report, Altidore played alone up top, with Reyna, Dema Kovalenko, Seth Stammler, Dave van den Bergh, and Dane Richards comprising the five-man midfield. The Red Bull are now 4-1-4 on their extended Road Trip preseason schedule, which moves back East for three matches in Charleston, South Carolina beginning on March 24 vs. Charleston Battery. Toronto FC (March 28) and Houston Dynamo (March 31) are the other two South Carolina opponents.

LA Soccer News: Jozy Altidore Interview

Soccer by Ives: Red Bull financially in the red

CONCACAF Semifinals Overture: Physical Graffiti

2007-03-14T02:21:00.000-05:00

UPDATE 8:30 ET: Power Outtage Postpones Dynamo-Pachuca
SECOND UPDATE: Match Rescheduled, Thursday March 15

Mexican players have elevated physical, dirty play to an art form. Like graffiti artists, they employ prohibited tactics, but the skill, daring and sheer audacity of their machinations strikes a chord with an admiring, forgiving public, which the "artisans" happily accept as an affirmation of their conduct. And the band plays on.

As the curtain rises on the first-leg of the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinal round, the Houston Dynamo host Pachuca CF (tonight, 8:30 ET, FSC) and DC United entertain CD Guadalajara Chivas (Thurs, 8 ET, FSC). If Major League Soccer's 1-7 record against Mexican opponents in the regional club championsip since 2002 is any indication, Houston and DC are about to get trampled under foot.

The US National Team, however, has dramatically changed the tempo against El Tricolor by fighting hard for every loose ball, challenging every shot and ignoring every provocation. The underdog MLS clubs would be wise to take note.

With Dwayne De Rosario and Brian Ching questionable, Pachuca will go hard at Brian Mullan, Brad Davis and Paul Dalglish. Houston needs to reply in kind. In Washington, Christian Gomez and Luciano Emilio will get rougher treatment than Dick Cheney's hunting buddy. Again, DC must set a similar tone with Chivas striker Omar Bravo, minus the thuggery and yellow cards.

Here's hoping the MLS clubs keep the score tight in these first-leg matches, putting all the pressure on the Mexican teams in the first week of April. Otherwise, US soccer fans will be sick again.

Match Previews: SI.com | Soccernet

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 4

2007-03-13T08:26:00.000-05:00

It's a MAJOR AWARD! Major League Soccer has leaked ...er... released information concerning a major announcement today, featuring such major luminaries as a German Bundesliga Big Shot, Don Garber (you already know all about him) and Ivan Gazidis (ditto) in a major resort at the major Sun and Fun City, Miami, Florida.

If this major announcement is anything like the last one, where Alexi Lalas tried to pass off another Chelsea training trip to LA as the World Series of Major Soccer Stuff, or some such nonsense, we are seriously risking the evisceration of all meaning from the word major. It's as if MLS Bosses got together and decided, like Ralphie's Dad in A Christmas Story, that shouting, "It's a Major Award!" might obscure the fact that a butt-ugly leg lamp is ruining the feng shui of the front parlor.

The major announcement is scheduled for 1pm ET today. Could a Bayern Miami franchise be on the way, with Cosmos legend, Der Kaiser himself, Franz Beckenbauer in charge? Is Landon Donovan gonna give Leverkusen one last shot? Stay tuned for the straight dope, but don't be surprised, if after hearing this major international news, you find yourself saying, "Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian."

UPDATED, 2pm ET: Yup. What Ralphie's Dad said. MLS will school the Bundesliga on the virtues of the single-entity ownership scheme, while the Germans will reciprocate with "new ideas" on officiating. Yeah, you read that correctly. Officiating.

The Red Bull Park Construction Site Webcam is live. Don't look too close, or you may be called to testify before the Newark Grand Jury.

Big Apple Soccer breaks down the Amado Guevara Reunion.

The Crew topped FC Dallas in the Lamar Hunt Pioneer Cup. The match was a real yawner, but they did raise some money for charity.

The ManU-Euro All-Star exhibition is slated for today, but the Zidane-Materazzi lovefest has been cancelled, as Zizou is in New York negotiating with Bruce Arena and Donald Trump. Ha! Made you look!

Messi Cleans Up Real Well

2007-03-11T12:42:00.000-05:00

Teenage winger Lionel Messi, wonderfully christened La Pulga Atomica, (The Atomic Flea), by an adoring Argentine Press, sent shock waves through the soccer world on Saturday, posting an incredibly stylish and immeasurably important hat-trick in a Barcelona-Real Madrid "El Gran Clasico" which truly lived up to it's name.

It wasn't just that Messi became the first Barca player since mercurial Brazilian superstar Romario to score three times against Real, but it was how he did it. Check out YouTube to see for yourself, but his third goal, which ultimately knotted the match at 3-3 and denied Madrid the crucial victory, was pure genius. Ronaldinho dinked the ball behind the Real defense on the right, where Messi streaked in from the wing and promptly eschewed the quick snap shot at the near post that 99 out of 100 players would have made, and instead darted across the goal, from the right side to the left, against traffic and holding off two Real defenders, until he reached the point of almost-no-return at the far post, drawing the keeper out of position, before fluently cracking the ball back in the opposite direction, just inside the post from which he had just scampered away. As the Guinness Guys say, Brilliant!

Also brilliant, was Gol TV's live broadcast of the match. With Real Salt Lake honcho Dave Checketts reportedly fronting a group purchasing a stake in Gol TV, let's hope Checketts doesn't break what doesn't need fixing. The option of catching this thrilling match, without having to shell out for pay-per-view or trudging out to a sports bar, is well-worth the five extra bucks a month for the Sports Pak. As long as Checketts and his Salt Lake investors steer clear of Roman Grant, this deal could be a boon for U.S. soccer fans.

Baby Bulls Barely Beat Berkeley

2007-03-10T17:10:00.000-05:00

A collection of Red Bull youngsters, novices and trialists taught a lesson to the University of California-Berkeley Varsity on Friday, posting a 3-2 scrimmage victory at the Home Depot Center. Here's a game report, courtesy of Big Apple Soccer. Jozy Altidore, Joe Vide and Jerrod Laventure scored for the JV version of Red Bull squad, which included newly signed Kearny, NJ native Hugh MacDonald. In other news that has been long rumored, but not yet confirmed, Gio Savarese told Soccer America he was fired by the Red Bull.

Crew Hit Jackpot, Win Robbie Rogers Sweepstakes

2007-03-10T11:12:00.000-05:00

They might not win much on the field, but the Columbus Crew are mad lucky when it comes to Major League Soccer weighted lotteries. Or they keep finishing in last place. We report. You decide. Regardless, the Crew picked up U-20 US National Team member Robbie Rogers, as the 19-year-old lefty attacking midfielder cut short his tenure with Heerenveen of the Dutch Eredivisie so he could return to The States.

Columbus has cornered the market on the MLS Lottery deal, having landed Danny Szetela in similar circumstances over two years ago. With fellow former Maryland Terrapins Jason Garey and Marc Burch, and Team USA teammates Szetela and Tim Ward in Columbus, Rogers, a native of Huntington Beach, California, may not be totally devastated to end up with the Crew, instead of the LA Galaxy or Chivas USA. Yeah, right.

Take note gang. Szetela hasn't exactly set the world on fire the past two seasons and Rogers, in his abbreviated stint with Heerenveen, never played a minute for the Big Club, which finds regular minutes from former MetroStar/Red Bull Michael Bradley, son of current Interim US Men's National Team Head Coach Bob Bradley. Rogers, Szetela et al are indeed excellent potential talents, but it remains to be seen if that potential will be reached under the tutelage of Sigi Schmid.

To Play and Tie in LA

2007-03-08T15:22:00.000-05:00

Another draw for the Red Bull in the City of Angels. John Wolyniec scored the lone goal against the Houston Dynamo on Tuesday, and the curiously Hamlet-like Brian Ching (to play or not to play?) got one past Ronald Waterreus, who later stoned NotKenny Dalglish on a PK. The Dutch keeper also stopped Kelly's brother from converting the rebound via diving header.

With the MLS season still a month away there's no reason to panic, but Big Apple Soccer's warning about the Red Bull's anemic offense is proving prescient. Wolyniec is hard-working and has a good nose for the goal, but as a starter? According to Soccer by Ives, Jozy Altidore hasn't staked a definitive claim to the fulltime striker spot and Ansu Toure has cooled off.

So what to do? The guess here is the Red Bull will bring in a striker, despite their recent comments to contrary. It may not be a bigtime Designated Player type, but a guy who can be counted on to find the back of the net on at least a semi-regular basis will be added, if not right away, prior to the April 15 signing deadline.

More from Soccer by Ives: Chris Leitch In, Craig Capano Out

More Big Apple Soccer: Marvell Wynne Watch

Hat tip to MetroFanatic for heads up on Hugh MacDonald feature

H/T to MLS Underground for Soccer America's latest DP rumor

Toronto Star: Jon Busch, Conor Casey Join Great White Northerners

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 3

2007-03-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull kicked off the Californication portion of their preseason with a nil-nil draw against the Beckhamless Los Angeles Galaxy. Claudio Reyna and Ronald Waterreus were spared any exertions after the cross-country flight, with Dema Kovalenko serving as captain.

Newbies Sinisa Ubiparapovic (man, if this guy makes the team I need to set up a quick key), Dane Richards, Ansu Toure and Hugh MacDonald all got a run out after "making the trip." The rest of the Golden State schedule is as follows: Houston Dynamo today, University of California on Friday, March 9 and CD Chivas USA on Wednesday March 14.

MacDonald, like Red Bull assistant coach John Harkes and former MetroStars Tony Meola and Tab Ramos, hails from Kearny, New Jersey and may land a developmental contract, according to the MetroFanatic. While we're tossing out "mays," Big Apple Soccer says Gio Savarese and the Red Bull may have severed their relationship.

The big news out of LA is the medical condition of the professional athlete who just signed a multi-million dollar contract with a franchise that claims to be from Los Angeles but really isn't. But enough about chemically-enhanced, cheating Angels. Let's discuss David Beckham. After suffering ligament damage to his right knee in Sunday's Real Madrid match, Becks will be on the shelf for about a month or so. The resulting hand-wringing and castigation, while entertainingly melodramatic, is more than a bit overwrought. Now that Golden Balls won't be battling through the next round of the Champions League with the Galacticos or desperately fighting his way into Three Lions contention, there's a much better chance that he will be healthy, rested and good to go for the Galaxy by July.

"A short saying oft contains much wisdom" -- Sophocles

"They were getting their diapers changed, I think." -- Mo Johnston, Toronto FC, after two of his young players were late for training.

"On the one hand we want to anchor Barca in the colleges and on the other form a partnership with a Major League club, maybe even in an official way with the Barca brand." -- Joan Laporta, Barcelona, winking madly in the direction of MLS while trying to maintain a modicum of decency.

"If the club decides to sack me because of bad results that is part of the game. If that happens I will be a millionaire and I will get another club a couple of months later." -- Jose Mourinho, Chelsea, tossing decency, class and humility out the window while giving the finger to Russian oil billionaire Roman Abramovich.

"I will never work for Sigi again. I will never play for him, never join his coaching staff." -- Jon Busch, former Columbus Crew goalkeeper, taking the subtle approach regarding his future job prospects with Sigi Schmid.

"He's an easy target. He has a big head, wears tight shorts and wraps his wrists." -- Jimmy Conrad, Kansas City Wizards, explaining why he picks on fellow US National Team member Taylor Twellman.

MLS Clubs Are Semi-Tough

2007-03-02T12:10:00.000-05:00

Both Major League Soccer squads in the CONCACAF Champions Cup advanced to the semifinal round on Thursday night, with DC United skipping past CD Olimpia (Honduras) and defending MLS Champ Houston Dynamo overcoming a one-goal first-leg deficit to edge Puntarenas FC (Costa Rica).

DC's new Brazilian striker Luciano Emilio tormented his former teammates with two goals, including a particularly nifty tally where he showed steely calm in the box before nonchalantly slotting the ball home into the far corner of the net. At first glance, he's either an arrogant prima donna or a smooth operator with a clinical touch. It bears watching. Also, the RFK playing field was total crap. On the plus side, the Bobby Boswell website looks like it will either be lots of fun or ridiculously, mockingly awful. Either way, it's a win-win.

Aggie Soccer Stadium, on the other hand, looked pretty good, but the game itself was a bit of a yawner. Although if the Dalglish striker for Houston was named Kenny, instead of Paul, it would've been a complete romp for the homeside. Dalglish the Younger did find the net once. Speaking of Dalglishes (see how I did that?) have you seen King Kenny's daughter and Paul's sister on the English version of Sportscenter? Not bad. It's a safe bet she'll never walk alone.

Back to the tournament, which will feature an all MLS vs. Mexican League semifinal round. Dynamo will face Pachuca on March 14 and April 5. DC gets CD Guadalajara (Chivas) on March 15 and April 3. Pachuca currently leads the Clausura Group 2 table while Chivas is tied for first in points and one goal back in differential in Clausura Group 1. The winner of the CONCACAF Champions Cup gets seeded into FIFA's World Club Championship, which has become an annual celebration of Brazilian soccer.

All Systems Go, Full Speed Ahead

2007-03-01T00:36:00.000-05:00

Red Bull Park in Harrison, New Jersey has overcome some construction issues and is moving along relatively close to schedule, according to former MetroStars GM and now AEG NY/NJ President Nick Sakiewicz. The indispensable Big Apple Soccer has the straight dope, but it looks as if Summer 2008 is still the target.

Much like the Red Bull Park Project, Tim Regan has recovered from a physical setback and is getting ready to deliver for the Red Bull Nation. The passionate MetroFanatic has the latest from the Bubble, including the status of Regan's "Injury Beard."

We linked to a pretty cool Jay DeMerit SI.com photo gallery a few days back, and here's a hat tip to du Nord for the heads up on this terrific new SI.com offering, this time featuring more of our American Soccer Expatriates. Great stuff.

DC United and defending MLS Champs Houston host second-leg matches in the CONCACAF Champions Cup tonight. Both games are being televised on Fox Soccer Channel. Here's the tourney bracket.

The China Syndrome

2007-03-01T00:28:00.000-05:00

US Soccer is gettin' busy with China on several fronts as the Men's National Team is scheduled to play a friendly against the Chinese on June 2 in San Jose, while the fledgling Women's Soccer Initiative is attempting to leverage any buzz gained from the Women's World Cup 2008 in China into another shot at a professional women's league in the United States.

Hopefully the "friendly" won't degenerate into a full-scale brawl like the one Queens Park Rangers and the Chinese Olympic Team had a few weeks ago. Check out the YouTube video. Not Good. Speaking of China and not good, have you checked the latest financial news? Double Not Good.

You Go Girls! Mia Hamm and Julie Foudy were elected to the National Soccer Hall of Fame, and fittingly will be the first all-female player class inducted to the Hall in Oneonta, NY on August 26. Congrats to Mia and Julie. Fawcett and Lilly should be next.

The Kids Are Alright: Two oddball stories came across the internet tubes, one concerning two massive Spanish clubs bidding on an 11-year-old boy and the other regarding a girl getting ejected from a youth tourney in Canada for wearing a religious head scarf.

Laureano Luduena is the young Argentine who in the past two years has reportedly scored 160 goals and Barcelona and Real Madrid are allegedly interested in purchasing the rights to this young man's soccer future. Too soon?

The 11-year-old girl was wearing a hijab, which Laval, Quebec officials deemed a no-no, despite the fact the youngster had worn it without any problems in her own Ontario-based league. Too much?

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 2

2007-02-27T03:00:00.000-05:00

MLS Rookie of the Year Jonathan Bornstein's MCL injury is a bummer for Chivas USA, and coupled with Bobby Convey's recent setback, the US Men's National Team is now so vulnerable on the left that a campaign to draft Al Gore for spot duty is gaining momentum.

MLS Underground handicaps the more realistic replacements, including Citeh's DaMarcus Beasley, Chicago's Justin Mapp and Red Bull Todd Dunivant. Two other Americans in fine form are Jonathan Spector with the Hammers and Jay DeMerit of Watford. Braving the frenetic pace, crackling emotions and superlative skills of the EPL, surely they deserve a look from Bob Bradley. Plus, in a pinch, Jay can play goalkeeper. Check out SI.com's photo essay. Good stuff.

God has spoken: "I even saw a move to the USA mentioned, but I honestly haven't even thought about anything like that yet." As always, the Gospel According to Robbie Fowler is open to interpretation. The Evangelical Robbie to MLS Crowd will emphasize the word "yet." If Robbie is definitely not considering Major League Soccer, why add the qualifier "yet" to his denial? The Doubters will note the lifelong Scouser spends most Sunday's praying at posh, English racetracks and is unlikely to chase a paycheck across the Atlantic.
UPDATE, FEB 28: Revs' Steve Nicol Says Robbie May Come

Thomas Gravesen is being linked with the LA Galaxy. Head Coach Frank Yallop is quoted as interested in the player, which may mean he's operating under the same misconception that Real Madrid and the belligerent Dane's current club, Glasgow Celtic did. Point One: While Gravesen looks the part of a bone-crunching midfield marauder in the Roy Keane or Pablo Mastroeni mold, he's actually more of an offensive minded player whose rare forays into the physical side of the game often result in his being whistled for rash, ill-timed tackles. Point Two: Gravesen also wore out his welcome at Real by fighting with his teammates, bitching to the press and generally behaving like a spoiled brat. Now he can't crack the Celtic lineup and is pulling the same crap. Beware, LA, Beware.

Speaking of Celtic, Rocker Rod Stewart, a huge fan of the Scottish club, in search of a proper venue to watch the Hoops take on AC Milan in the Champions League last week, chose the Irish-American Club in Kearny, New Jersey, hometown of former US National Team and MLS stars John Harkes, Tony Meola and Tab Ramos.

FIFA Boots Red Bull, Delgado Ban Stands

2007-02-26T12:42:00.000-05:00

Ecuadoran wild man/striker Agustin Delgado will not be filling the Red Bull's second designated player slot this season as FIFA stood firm on the year-long suspension dealt out to El Tin for his part in a nasty postgame brawl. Check out the video link on YouTube and decide for yourself if FIFA should've looked the other way just so the Red Bull could sign a 32-year-old, injury-prone player with an -- ahem -- colorful off-field reputation including financial disputes with an ex-wife (don't you hate when that happens?), and legal troubles concerning another melee on New Year's Eve 2007.

This could be a blessing in disguise for the Red Bull, as a Big Splash International Stud Signing coinciding with the team's move into brand-spanking-new, soccer-specific Red Bull Park in Harrison, New Jersey next season is much better business -- on and off the field -- than taking a risk on El Tin miraculously becoming an altar boy upon reaching Major League Soccer.

Big Apple Soccer is all over the still vacant second Designated Player (or Beckham Player or Toss-Out-The-Budget-This-Guy-May-Sell-Tickets Player, if you prefer) Allocation story, with both Gianni Versace lookalike Red Bull Owner Dietrich Mateschitz and Sporting Director, Head Coach Bruce Arena doubtful an additional DP signing -- Claudia Reyna holds one slot -- will be happening anytime soon.

Nicky, We Hardly Knew Ye

2007-02-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

The Nick Rimando Era with the Red Bull was short. Really short. Tom Cruise spectacularly dwarfed by newest Stepford Wife Katie Holmes short. Which is funny, except that it makes MLS look bad.

Name one other professional sports league in the world where Team A acquires Player X from Team B and then two weeks later trades Player X back to Team B. Keep thinking, but you have a better chance of getting Scarlett Johansson over to your house dressed like Catwoman than you do of coming up with one. Know why? Because there are no Givesy-Backseys in professional sports! Sure, guys move around all the time, and many return to their former teams, but 14 days later? It's a joke.

Big Apple Soccer has the specifics, which include Scott Garlick abruptly retiring from Real Salt Lake and Jon Conway's reported trip from Red Bull to Toronto FC now postponed, if not torpedoed altogether.

Unfortunately, this farcical Goalkeeper Carousel, where netminders are being swapped and shifted from team to team like horses being traded on the Deadwood Thoroughfare, is unsightly, unbecoming, and frankly, unacceptable.

Major League Soccer's current economic and player dispersal model is what it is. The people ponying up the dough for MLS have decided this is the best way for the league to grow and prosper. Fair enough. But there has to be some mechanism in place to prevent ridiculous situations like Nick Rimando's Excellent Salt Lake To New York And Back to Salt Lake Two-Week Adventure.

Around the Globe With A Coupla Links:

Soccer365: Bobby Convey Injured Again

Soccernet: DC Win, Dynamo Fall in CONCACAF Champs Cup

Czech Out The Latest Rumors

2007-02-21T14:43:00.000-05:00

The MLS offseason is Silly Time, where Ronaldo is either 1) fat, washed up and beneath Major League Soccer or 2) a potent striker and international icon capable of scoring two goals in his first start since returning to Serie A. Where Beckham is either 1) over-rated, over-paid and over-heated or 2) Man of the Match in a classic Real Madrid vs. Bayern Munich European Champions League showdown and a great signing for the LA Galaxy and MLS.

Well, Red Bull Rising is not immune to the allure of Silly Time and our latest contribution to the rumor mill is this juicy tidbit from our friends at Football 365 (and by friends, we mean we often peruse their terrific website): Czech star Patrik Berger is considering MLS.

Berger is a 33-year-old offensive-minded midfielder with a silky-smooth left foot, a feisty on-field personality and a flair for the dramatic. The downside is, he has been hurt or indifferent the past few seasons, after a very solid tenure at Liverpool FC where his skills were greatly appreciated.

The demographically-minded, fanny-in-the-seats types will note that both the greater Houston and Chicago areas have very high concentrations of Czech-Americans. Would Patty agree to a Windy City or Southeast Texas move? Or is he just angling for either an extension with Martin O'Neill and Aston Villa or perhaps signaling for another squad on The Continent to make him an offer?

In other Liverpool related news, Robbie Fowler is being linked with fellow Anfield veteran Steve Nicol and the New England Revolution. Unlike the Berger story, no Fowler quotes are attached to this rumor. Due to Robbie's now chronic injury problems, his rather -- ahem -- notorious nightlife habits and his passion for the ponies....it's doubtful God will grace the Land of the Puritans.

Tuesday Morning Odds and Sods, Volume 1

2007-02-20T09:51:00.000-05:00

Steven Goff, apparently the only guy at the WaPo not obsessed with defending Scooter Libby, has been all over the Zinedine Zidane to MLS saga. According to Goff, the Fire have folded, but the Red Bull may indeed call. Big Apple Soccer's excellent interview with reclusive, mysterious, creepily tanned and well-coiffed Red Bull owner Dietrich Mateschitz suggests Zizou, or any other Big International Star, won't be arriving until Red Bull Park opens in 2008.

The Red Bull completed the Florida preseason slate with a 3-1-1 record after drawing 1-1 with Real Salt Lake. Dutchman Dave van den Bergh scored his third preseason goal for the Red Bull against Mitt Romney's favorite MLS club.

The other Real, have issued the first of what will be many Fabio Ain't Fired Yet announcements. C'mon Madrid, we all know Fredo's goin' fishin'.

Who needs pitchers and catchers? A Cuban defector has signed with an MLS club. All we need now is Jason Kreis testing positive for steroids and we can become America's National Pastime!

MLS Champs Snap Red Bull Win Streak, Trialist Ansu Toure Making a Strong Case

2007-02-17T11:14:00.000-05:00

The Red Bull's three-game win streak turned into a pumpkin at Disney's Wide World of Sports on Friday night as the Houston Dynamo recorded a 3-1 victory. Trialist Ansu Toure (not to be confused with brilliant Arsenal and Ivory Coast defender Kolo Toure) scored the lone Red Bull tally. Ansu's bid to jump from the USL First Division's Minnesota Thunder to Red Bull New York of Major League Soccer gained momentum with his second goal of the preseason, the first coming in the Valentine's Day win over DC United.

Small Victories and the Big Picture

2007-02-16T13:43:00.000-05:00

Winning three straight preseason games down in Bradenton Fla, against the Kiddie Korps US National Team U-17's, the punchless Wizards and the rival United of DC is not that big a deal. But these small victories do provide a sneak preview into Bruce Arena's plans for Red Bull New York, in this, his first full season directing the squad.

The Nick Rimando signing on top of the Ronald Waterreus acquisition makes Jon Conway surplus to requirements. Rumor has it that Conway may be headed to Toronto FC, where Mo Johnston can reciprocate with something useful for his former club.

While precocious youngster Jozy Altidore continues to impress down by the Gulf Coast, the Agustin Delgado Watch refuses to go away. The Ecuadoran hothead is a proven, if brittle, goalscorer, but can the Meadowlands endure yet another aging, tempermental striker with suspect motives for joining Major League Soccer? Maybe Arena intends to blood Altidore and sign Delgado, not as his primary source of goals, but as an insurance policy against Jozy's inevitable growing pains. Or is it vice-versa?

So far, it looks like Arena is toying with a veteran midfield featuring Claudio Reyna, 33, Markus Schopp, 33, Dave van den Bergh, 31 and Dema Kovalenko, 30, while fielding talented, but green, youngsters like Altidore, 17, and Marvell Wynne, 20, up top and in the back, respectively. With Waterreus between the sticks, the Red Bulls seem content choosing from Wynne, Todd Dunivant, Seth Stammler, Jeffe Parke, and Carlos Mendes in defense, but center fullback may be a weak spot with this current group of players.

Becks Scores, The Land of Coors

2007-02-11T00:35:00.000-05:00

It was inevitable David Beckham would celebrate his return from exile and Capello's comic capitulation by finding the back of the net. So what now? Well, a few things.

1) The chances of speeding up Beckham's arrival in LA via buyout are now slimmer than Nicole Ritchie. Real took a much deserved public relations hit by benching and verbally slamming one of their most valuable assets and went into the tank on the field to boot. With the Primera Division still up for grabs and Real's last domestic match scheduled for June 17, the Galacticos will hang onto Becks for the duration.

2) Major League Soccer will now go into Ixnay on the EckhamBay Mode. The league can't allow the whole first half of the 2007 season to be held hostage to When Will He Come? What New Hairstyle Will He Have? and What Will Posh Wear? stories, especially after the 2006 campaign was overshadowed by the World Cup.

3) Capello is history. It's one thing for Guti to speak up, but when Raul, who never wanted Becks at the Bernabeu in the first place and barely tolerates him now, publicy embraced the former England captain, Fabio immediately became Fredo. The only question is, when will the Real bosses take him fishing?

Speaking of fishing, let's discuss the Colorado Rapids (How's that for a cornball segue?). Rumor had it the MLS franchise nestled in the Rocky Mountains was not only going to sell its soul to Arsene Wenger and the Gooners, but that they were going to adopt the name of their new patrons and call themselves the Colorado Arsenal. Or Arsenal Colorado. Whatever. Either way, what actually happened was the Rapids announced new branding and colors (oddly mimicking Aston Villa and West Ham and nothing at all like Thierry Henry's kit) and a partnership deal with Arsenal concerning player development and preseason tours.

Some folks got hot and bothered about the potential name change, while others thought it was a great idea. The thinking here is that the Colorado Rapids is a fine name, bringing up thoughts of icy cold water which is used (if you believe the commercials) to make watered down Lite Beer in a cool silver can. Plus, changing the name to Arsenal could've been another Houston 1836 fiasco and MLS doesn't need to shoot itself in the foot again. How so? One word: Columbine.

BREAKING NEWS: Sun Comes Up, Team USA beats Mexico...Again

2007-02-08T13:25:00.000-05:00

Excellent roundup of the U.S. Men's National Team's 2-nil victory over Mexico last night at Soccer by Ives. The childish behavior of the Hugo Sanchezettes and Landon Donovan's understandably perturbed reaction is particularly good stuff.

In Red Bull-related news, Bruce Arena did a nice job on the ESPN2 broadcast, unlike Dave O'Brien, the Chief Wiggum of soccer broadcasters. "Nothing to see here," he says, "Not alot of action," as Bornstein, Albright, Conrad and Bocanegra scrape and scramble for every ball played into the US third of the pitch, out-muscle or out-hustle the Mexican attack, and play the ball up the field. Sigh. According to Chief Wiggum, if a goal isn't scored every five minutes or so, the game is crap.

But O'Brien does have the pipes for a TV broadcast, which brings us back to Arena, who does not. Bruce has a nasally delivery which borders on whiny, but that in no way diminishes his strong analysis of the game. How refreshing was it to hear a Soccer Talking Head blast the twitchy, eye-bulging ref for the unnecessary yellows about 10 minutes into the match? And whenever Wynalda veered into It's Been Five Minutes I Need To Gratituitously Slam The US Strikers Land, Bruce gently threw his mercurial colleague -- and more importantly the viewers -- a lifeline, replying, "Well, actually, we should probably give the Mexican defense credit there, they defended that play well as a group." Pertinent, intelligent commentary trumps silky-smooth, but vapid, claptrap any day of the week. Just like the US tops Mexico any day of the week.

Beckham US Tour Dates Released

2007-02-07T17:22:00.000-05:00

Back in the day, recently departed Old School TV broadcast stylist Jim Karvallas would respond to Seamus Mallon's astute color commentary of a particularly nifty play -- say a neat Bogie through-ball to Chinaglia (Karvallas pronunciation: KEEEEY-nalia) -- with an emphatic, "That’s good soccer, Seamus." And so today, we present Major League Soccer with the first-ever That's Good Soccer, Seamus Award, for the clever scheduling which guarantees the LA Galaxy -– or Team Beckham, if you prefer -– will play at least one road game in every single MLS city from July to the end of the season. Not coincidentally, Beckham’s current contract with Real Madrid expires on June 30.

Oh, how Capello and that odious Calderon at Real Madrid must love the timing. Since Beckham will indeed be visiting each MLS stadium in 2007, despite Real's predatory intransigence, AEG and MLS can now negotiate his liberation from the stands at the Bernabeu, a pointless, wasteful exile even his teammates lament, fully aware that, worst-case, Becks arrives on Independence Day and plays out the rest of the season. (Provided he stays healthy, which will be addressed in a future post). Best-case, Real get real, make a fair deal, and Beckham joins Donovan and Company at the Home Depot Center for start of season. Win-win for MLS and its fans. That's good soccer, Seamus.

Beckham and the Galaxy face the Red Bulls on Saturday night, August 18. Should be quite a show. Get tickets now.

In the beginning....

2007-02-06T12:02:00.000-05:00

In the beginning there was Cosmos, prodigious, spectacular and star-crossed

Then darkness fell upon us, as Metros, dull and chaotic, entered the void

And the spirit of Pele said, "Behold, The Beautiful Game"

And the Red Bull rose in New Jersey, and it was good